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Teen Poetry #4
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fozzyozzy
Member
since 2001-03-15
Posts 336
Lessburg Virginia

0 posted 2001-06-06 10:06 PM


Davey Jones' Rigor Mortis

Drifting     apart(so many  lands)
Amethyst ocean
      Preserve your body below (what really lies)
Amber sea   frozenstiff
Autumn skies  (beat above) a blanket
                             cover'ing the feet
   it's quiet here with a kiss
       that's fine with me
         you should see this
       cause there is nothing to    see


Rises   and Falls
Dips    and Tangoes
Currents dance the prone body
  And enchanting those peaceful mermaids
  To take his soul away
---------------------------------

"This is cactus land!!!"-T.S.Eliot

© Copyright 2001 Sean Michael DeFlora - All Rights Reserved
Dr. Jo-Bizz
Member
since 2001-06-06
Posts 97

1 posted 2001-06-06 10:47 PM


:*  

I wanted to try that face out.  now that i've done it... hehe

nice poem


dr. jo-bizz


But His word was in my heart
like a burning fire
Shut up in my bones;
I was weary of holding back,
And I could not.

pharon
Member
since 1999-11-13
Posts 251
alabama
2 posted 2001-06-07 12:06 PM


wow...i feel if i say anything else i would just stumble over my words...i love your work!! again...wow!

               me

keoni
Senior Member
since 2000-10-16
Posts 850
Up in the mountains in the NFC
3 posted 2001-06-07 10:40 AM


I liked this one. Very interesting. The style was pretty odd, that's what made it such a nice read.
Jon

"Your anger is a gift"-Rage Against The Machine
"Only God can judge me" Tupac Shakur

Dopey Dope
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Moderator
Member Patricius
since 2000-08-30
Posts 11132
San Juan, Puerto Rico
4 posted 2001-06-09 06:28 PM


I do love your work but this kind of flew by me. Maybe that's why I couldn't appreciate it as much as your other work. I saw the beauty in this though, very well written. I just wish I could have comprehended it.

I was born myself, raised myself, and will continue to be myself. The world will just have to adjust.

I'm in love with my shadow
I admire it daily

Child of the Stars
Deputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Senior Member
since 2000-09-07
Posts 1658
Ann Arbor, MI
5 posted 2001-06-09 09:25 PM


Whoa you're as messed up as me!!
Heh, no worries, its a good thing...I love how you tied this all together...awesome.

  ~Carly

"Go outside and use your own eyes. You'll be surprised to see things you've never been taught..."
   ~Edouard Manet

Isabel Galaxia
Senior Member
since 2000-06-18
Posts 733

6 posted 2001-06-09 11:22 PM


WOW!  that was great!  Love the last 2 lines. Good job  

Bel

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