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Teen Poetry #4
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the_rescue
Member
since 2001-05-23
Posts 316
Japan

0 posted 2001-06-06 11:49 AM



Ok this is my intresting poem.  

Superevil superhero
want to be like   the caped crusader
and the dim brightness of tomorrow
all he sees is a bit of sorrow

Superevil Superhero
while he fights for justice
it's evil he causes to reign
instead of joy he causes pain

Superevil Superhero
takes the tranquil chaos
and turns it into a disturbing peace
while hoping that his troubles will cease

Superevil Superhero
uses his blinded sight
and then turns a deaf ear
just so that he can hear

Superevil Superhero
speaks with a mute voice
hoping the evil around him will run
so he can go back out and have some fun

Superevil Superhero
with his pesimistic hope
tries to help those around town
those he finds with a smiling frown

Superevil Superhero
wants to be greater than negitive zero
but in his sorrowful joy
he forgets he's only a grown boy


Ok basically this a really wierd poem like I said but the oxymorons used in the poem actually present a message, through the first couple parts it's talking about humans ability to seem like hero's when they talk about issues, for ex. hunger, we all talk about it but all turn a deaf ear, which acounts for the evil part of it.  The end of the poem shows the realization of these facts

in the silence of the night I hear angels voices singing your name oh how beautiful is your name as they sing over and over.  (SPOKEN)

© Copyright 2001 the_rescue - All Rights Reserved
Dr. Jo-Bizz
Member
since 2001-06-06
Posts 97

1 posted 2001-06-06 12:02 PM


depart from me, be warmed and filled', yet you do not give them that which they need.

yah.  this is rad.  keep on kicking the devil.


dr. jo-bizz

But His word was in my heart
like a burning fire
Shut up in my bones;
I was weary of holding back,
And I could not.

fractal007
Senior Member
since 2000-06-01
Posts 1958

2 posted 2001-06-06 12:27 PM


I like your wording here.  The end is especially good, in which you use the term "grown boy."  That really adds an air of insignificance to the main character.  Well done here.

"If history is to change, let it change. If the world is to be destroyed, so be it. If my fate is to die, I must simply laugh"

-- Magus

punkrockerrobin
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Senior Member
since 2001-05-15
Posts 1180
Sparks, NV
3 posted 2001-06-06 01:32 PM


hey hun this is awesome! ok yall need to let robin in on all these new smileys i see!
robin

anonymous albert ?
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Elite
since 2001-03-23
Posts 2979

4 posted 2001-06-06 04:26 PM


the format was nice...i liked it...very creative ...bye

i'm addicted to passions in poetry!...are you?

Dopey Dope
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Moderator
Member Patricius
since 2000-08-30
Posts 11132
San Juan, Puerto Rico
5 posted 2001-06-06 04:42 PM


I liked this one a lot. I thought the message was great.

I was born myself, raised myself, and will continue to be myself. The world will just have to adjust.

I'm in love with my shadow
I admire it daily

xShUgArHiGhx
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Member Elite
since 2000-09-26
Posts 3150
tRyIn tO fIt iN2 mY oWn ShoEs
6 posted 2001-06-10 11:21 AM


Cool message!!!! I enjoyed this  
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