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Teen Poetry #4

Back together

Empty tears
Member

since 2001-03-12

Posts 64

0 posted 2001-06-05 10:31 AM

You took a big piece of my heart
when you left my months ago
My heart is in one piece again
but its no longer my own

Ive given tou my heart once more
you hold it in your hand
i think that i can trust you now
oh,god i hope i can

I love you more than you could know
throuch sunshine and through rain
And im hoping we'll find happiness
and forget about past pain

~I know this sux but i just wrote it in like 5 seconds~

xShUgArHiGhx

Member Elite

since 2000-09-26

Posts 3150
tRyIn tO fIt iN2 mY oWn ShoEs

1 posted 2001-06-05 10:34 AM

I dont think it sux at all!!! You heart goes through a lot when you open it up to someone...but hopefully it will be repaired soon

LoneWolf
Member

since 2001-03-10

Posts 384
IL

2 posted 2001-06-05 12:23 PM

I dont' think this sux either. I liked it a lot. good job here.

It's too bad I'm not as wonderful a person as people say I am, because the world could use a few people like that.
I've learned that even when you th

SEA

Moderator

Member Seraphic

since 2000-01-18

Posts 22676
with you

3 posted 2001-06-05 02:04 PM

I think it's fine...some spelling errors is all I see.....other than that it's a great expression of emotions

anonymous albert ?

Member Elite

since 2001-03-23

Posts 2979

4 posted 2001-06-05 04:37 PM

"I love you more than you could know
throuch sunshine and through rain
And im hoping we'll find happiness
and forget about past pain"

i really liekd the last verses...very reall lines...great job

...bye Brittany

i'm addicted to passions in poetry!...are you?

Dopey Dope

Moderator

Member Patricius

since 2000-08-30

Posts 11132
San Juan, Puerto Rico

5 posted 2001-06-05 11:39 PM

Well done here? I loved this. Besdies a few spelling errors you've done so well.

I was born myself, raised myself, and will continue to be myself. The world will just have to adjust.

I'm in love with my shadow
I admire it daily

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