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Teen Poetry #4
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fozzyozzy
Member
since 2001-03-15
Posts 336
Lessburg Virginia

0 posted 2001-06-02 11:12 PM


The Path I Tread

Save your tears
I'm not one to cry for
Give me love; pity no more
My life needs no reprise
But I reconsider
When I see the tears in your eyes

This is the path I tread
It's something you fear
I succeed where need be
So shed no tear
Over the likes of me

This lonely road
Again....this lonely crow
To deposit my soul upon
a road where travellers
Travel no more; and Samaritans
Have nothing to weep for
dead trees swing scratching sovereign placements
The clouds themselves laugh down
Why dost thou cry?
This place is perfect for
I

This is the road I traverse
Thus traversed before
Give me love;pity no more
You sob like a candle on fire
And it's of your burning wax I tire!
I shall step highly in my dead land(cactus land)
With brambles cutting(deep) my every hand
It's MY blood
In this dead land,your tears
Create my mud

Are you not frightened?
it was Her that scared
and She who despaired
Have you neither
YOu should never touch me
Pity me more; love will make
Me go crazy
Your substitute(sympathy)(empathy)
In my dead land my hollow hills
Through which
is the path
Only I tread______________________to death...

"The heart can think of no devotion
Greater than being shore to ocean
Holding the curve of one position
Counting an endless repetition"
Robert Fr

© Copyright 2001 Sean Michael DeFlora - All Rights Reserved
Dopey Dope
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Member Patricius
since 2000-08-30
Posts 11132
San Juan, Puerto Rico
1 posted 2001-06-03 04:13 PM


Well done......the ending was amazing. I love the pause too...but the built up to the ending was great great! Wow, you really did well with this one.

I was born myself, raised myself, and will continue to be myself. The world will just have to adjust.

I'm in love with my shadow
I admire it daily

Acies
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Moderator
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-06-07
Posts 7665
Twilight Zone
2 posted 2001-06-05 04:15 PM


Wow!!! Very well written and obviously thought of.  As already said, the pause in the end gave it more of a stronger impact.  keep it up

hi Sweets, Lizzy, Ina, Erin, Erica, Minna, Kit, Kamie, Javi, Jenn, Sharon, Nan, Cawlee, Allan, Val, Sara, Justine, Leah, Jess, Kimmie, Maree, Michele,

SEA
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Member Seraphic
since 2000-01-18
Posts 22676
with you
3 posted 2001-06-05 04:25 PM


I'll just echo my guys  
xShUgArHiGhx
Deputy Moderator 10 ToursDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Elite
since 2000-09-26
Posts 3150
tRyIn tO fIt iN2 mY oWn ShoEs
4 posted 2001-06-10 11:29 AM


Amazing!!!!  
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