navwin » Archives » Teen Poetry #4 » Damaged Abuse
Teen Poetry #4
Post A Reply Post New Topic Damaged Abuse Go to Previous / Newer Topic Back to Topic List Go to Next / Older Topic
chasing rain
Senior Member
since 2001-05-15
Posts 737
Canada

0 posted 2001-06-02 12:23 PM


You tried to kill me
Slowly I ran away from you
Stepping back didn't seem enough
There was nothing left to do.
One step after the other
I fled from your haunting eyes
At night I still dream of you
Yet I hear my desperate cries.
They break the silence
Of the night, so calm
With deaf'ning blows to the ears.
I wake up shaking
On a dead winter's night
To find myself in tears.
How the wind screams
How the thunder roars
As the waves crash upon
The sandy shores.
To be me again
To be safe once more
Will never happen
Not like before.
You hurt me
In a way I never knew
So quietly, so secretly
I thought it couldn't be true.
You stole my heart
You stole my soul
And I never knew
How it felt before.
But now I know
And I'll never go back
But I'll always remember
Your violent attack.
I hide behind shades
To cover the bruise
On my face I still feel
The soles of your shoes.
I cover myself
From head to toe
To hide all the scars
From every fierce blow.
I do nothing but hide
Away from them all
I fear their gazes
I fear I may fall.
I loathe you
I hate you inside
But I know I can't kill you
As long as I'm alive.
==========

I feel as though I have no right to write this...




"If I find in myself desires which nothing in this world can satisfy, the only logical explanation is that i was made for another world."
-C.S.Lewis


[This message has been edited by chasing rain (edited 06-02-2001).]

© Copyright 2001 chasing rain - All Rights Reserved
anonymous albert ?
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Elite
since 2001-03-23
Posts 2979

1 posted 2001-06-02 12:29 PM


powerful...deep emotions...you expressed so much pain...i think you did an great job on writing this...must of been hard as the situation is a very hard one...hope you are alright ...i really liked this poem leah...quite impact...bye

i'm addicted to passions in poetry!...are you?

chasing rain
Senior Member
since 2001-05-15
Posts 737
Canada
2 posted 2001-06-02 12:36 PM


To tell you the truth, i've never been in this situation before...which is why i feel like i have no right to write about something that's never happened to me...I hope to never have it happen to me...so much hate. Can't bear it...

"If I find in myself desires which nothing in this world can satisfy, the only logical explanation is that i was made for another world."
-C.S.Lewis

HeAvEnS AnGeL
Member
since 2001-05-17
Posts 168
The Hot Girl From Canada
3 posted 2001-06-02 01:49 AM


Wow I loved this poem.  It was beautiful It's so going in my library.  Why do you feel like you shouldn't be writing this?  When writing a poem it doesnt have to be from YOUR experiences, it can be relates to others experiences  

Don't judge a person untill you have walked a mile in their shoes, this way your a mile away from them, and you have their shoes.

Dopey Dope
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Moderator
Member Patricius
since 2000-08-30
Posts 11132
San Juan, Puerto Rico
4 posted 2001-06-02 03:22 PM


I think regardless of you going through the situation or not you can write about it. I think this had a lot of emotion within it. Well done.

I was born myself, raised myself, and will continue to be myself. The world will just have to adjust.

I'm in love with my shadow
I admire it daily

Deranger
Member
since 2000-05-10
Posts 498
Somewhere, between here and there
5 posted 2001-06-02 07:04 PM


Well, in truth, it was your nick that convinced me to make that little click, but i find your poem harsh, rude and somewhat, violent...ah, you capture humanity so well!

Spreading insanity, one post at a time

My skull has glowing green eyes!

kaile
Deputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Ascendant
since 2000-02-06
Posts 5146
singapore
6 posted 2001-06-02 11:57 PM


powerful intense read

i liked these two lines a lot:

On my face i still feel
the soles of your shoes

subtle but effective, i thought


xShUgArHiGhx
Deputy Moderator 10 ToursDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Elite
since 2000-09-26
Posts 3150
tRyIn tO fIt iN2 mY oWn ShoEs
7 posted 2001-06-06 09:51 PM


Why do you feel that you have no right to write this???? Thats silly...you have the right to write anything your lil heart wishes. I thought this was a wonderful poem and i just loved all the emotion and feelings within it. Great job  
DarkAngelOfTheStars
Member
since 2001-04-21
Posts 255

8 posted 2001-06-07 01:45 PM


aww great job!  but it is sad    still great..  

Dont knock on deaths door ...... ring the bell and run......he hates that

Post A Reply Post New Topic ⇧ top of page ⇧ Go to Previous / Newer Topic Back to Topic List Go to Next / Older Topic
All times are ET (US). All dates are in Year-Month-Day format.
navwin » Archives » Teen Poetry #4 » Damaged Abuse

Passions in Poetry | pipTalk Home Page | Main Poetry Forums | 100 Best Poems

How to Join | Member's Area / Help | Private Library | Search | Contact Us | Login
Discussion | Tech Talk | Archives | Sanctuary