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Teen Poetry #4
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Raven Skye
Member
since 2001-03-03
Posts 112
.In a House.

0 posted 2001-05-31 07:08 PM


Not the best...haven't been writing very good lately, i'm gonna cry

*me*

Mindless,
Self-Indulgent,
Uncaring girl.
That's what i am.
What I'll always be.

Negleted,
Drowning in misery,
Thoughtless & Abandoned.
That's what i am,
What I'll always be.

Unreasonable,
Piece of drivel,
Unprincipled & profligate
That's what i am
That is me...

*×´¨`·.×*Raven Skye*×´¨`·.×*
"Can't explain the way that I feel. You are the love I never found." -Cold

© Copyright 2001 Raven Skye - All Rights Reserved
SEA
Deputy Moderator 10 ToursDeputy Moderator 5 Tours
Moderator
Member Seraphic
since 2000-01-18
Posts 22676
with you
1 posted 2001-05-31 10:52 PM


I really hope you don't feel that way about yourself   You are so much more than that   I'd like to see a poem from you about all the positive things about you! Consider it a challenge......   SEA
fractal007
Senior Member
since 2000-06-01
Posts 1958

2 posted 2001-05-31 10:55 PM


Hm...  Not very nice words.  This was a rather harsh critique on the self.  I think you should do your best at being nice.  People aren't expecting you to be some angel or something.  You're human.  

Good poem, though.

"If history is to change, let it change. If the world is to be destroyed, so be it. If my fate is to die, I must simply laugh"

-- Magus

little_krazy_poet
Junior Member
since 2001-05-28
Posts 41

3 posted 2001-06-01 12:48 PM


ok i have a large LARGE problem with people discouraging talented writers from writing what they have in them because that is where REAL writing comes from.  well i realy liked the poem and remember write what YOU feel like writing.  hope to see more of your poems  
anonymous albert ?
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Elite
since 2001-03-23
Posts 2979

4 posted 2001-06-01 01:14 AM


"Negleted,
Drowning in misery,
Thoughtless & Abandoned.
That's what i am,
What I'll always be."

i realted to this...great job on writing this ...bye

i'm addicted to passions in poetry!...are you?

Dopey Dope
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Moderator
Member Patricius
since 2000-08-30
Posts 11132
San Juan, Puerto Rico
5 posted 2001-06-02 02:59 AM


Wow this one was so negative. I could just feel the self bashing within this one. Don't be so hard on yourself. Often one's worst critique is one's self. Keep that head up....and if you need to talk then don't be afraid to e-mail me  

I was born myself, raised myself, and will continue to be myself. The world will just have to adjust.

I'm in love with my shadow
I admire it daily

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