You Believed in me... - pipTalk Forums

How to Join	Member's Area	Private Library	Search	Sanctuary		Login
Main Forums	Discussion	Tech Talk	Mature Content	Archives	A home without a wall, Our haven without ends, A circle we all call Our Family of Friends!

fozzyozzy
Member

since 2001-03-15

Posts 336
Lessburg Virginia

0 posted 2001-05-30 09:31 PM

You Believed in me...

Three times I reached
For southern longing I had
Southern comfort I lacked
Four times I reached
For your lips; Now
Five times I reach
Five times scarred, bleeding
I wish the (queen)would
Have faith; I salute her

Six times I dare
Six times unfair
That's me. Six in a million(million)
There is only one horizon
One chance now six(six)
One hand pulling me to reach higher
This gloved hand so white like death
Too cold
Her hand so cold     (and dead)to me
I release grasp       She falls
                        I rise
Where I belong.(?)     What for?(Romeo)

"The heart can think of no devotion
Greater than being shore to ocean
Holding the curve of one position
Counting an endless repetition"
Robert Fr

Meggie1986
Junior Member

since 2001-05-22

Posts 41
California

1 posted 2001-05-30 10:02 PM

Wow, another beautiful poem. I love the whole questioning feeling. This is truely a work of art. The parethasis seemed to be a bit random at first, but after reading it though a couple times, it all seems to fit really well, and they add a lot. Fantastic!

*One meets his destiny often in the road he takes to avoid it.

stace_co2003
Member

since 2001-03-30

Posts 497
In a dream world

2 posted 2001-05-30 10:37 PM

it's really really good, only thing is, I don't really understand it all that much. but that's my fault cuz it's late and I'm tired. I've read through it several times, and the paranthesis still seem random to me...
Stace

I'm just glad that now this rainstorm has ended, and I can see the rainbow once again.

LoneWolf
Member

since 2001-03-10

Posts 384
IL

3 posted 2001-05-30 10:45 PM

wow, i liked this. good job

It's too bad I'm not as wonderful a person as people say I am, because the world could use a few people like that.
I've learned that even when you th

fozzyozzy
Member

since 2001-03-15

Posts 336
Lessburg Virginia

4 posted 2001-05-30 11:29 PM

Okay, the parantheses...they can seem random. The first para:queen refers to the subject, a girl I know(of course). I put it in para because its an optional word only I use for her kind of like a whisper or a second thought. Six and million is echoeing

The last two:are dead?Romeo are allusions to the play Romeo and Juliet's big death scene. I trust you know what I'm talking about. If you don't believe me fine. It is a weak explanation, but its late and I'm tired. I hate doing things like explaining my stuff, but I feel this time I went a bit too obscure(yippee). I apologize

"The heart can think of no devotion
Greater than being shore to ocean
Holding the curve of one position
Counting an endless repetition"
Robert Fr

Dopey Dope

Moderator

Member Patricius

since 2000-08-30

Posts 11132
San Juan, Puerto Rico

5 posted 2001-05-31 02:15 AM

I thought this was great.....the romeo part confused me but you helped in your explanation. Well done here. I love this new format and style of yours.

I was born myself, raised myself, and will continue to be myself. The world will just have to adjust.

I'm in love with my shadow
I admire it daily

anonymous albert ?

Member Elite

since 2001-03-23

Posts 2979

6 posted 2001-05-31 02:20 AM

the format was great...and the poem was quite nice...great job!...bye

i'm addicted to passions in poetry!...are you?

cherish
Senior Member

since 2001-03-25

Posts 1639
swimming in fairy floss...........

7 posted 2001-05-31 02:50 AM

ahhhhh..this was good and the explainatipon helped too..like with romeo and stuff..good job on this one...and the echo was great...welll in my head...in cherish land that is....it came out like little half whispers...good effect!...keep posting!!..