Broken Wings - pipTalk Forums

How to Join	Member's Area	Private Library	Search	Sanctuary		Login
Main Forums	Discussion	Tech Talk	Mature Content	Archives	A home without a wall, Our haven without ends, A circle we all call Our Family of Friends!

Allysa

Senior Member

since 1999-11-09

Posts 1952
In an upside-down garden

0 posted 2001-05-29 02:01 PM

I am your broken angel,
these broken wings aren't yours,
but you blame yourself,
because I can't fly anymore.
I am the broken angel,
not perfect enough for you,
but if you help me dream,
there's something I could do.

*And I say to you,
take these broken wings,
trade them for something new,
let me fly again with you,
let me dream again with you.

You are my one and only,
but who wants something broken?
Teach me to fly without wings,
teach me to dream again.
I am YOUR broken angel,
you'll love me either way,
take care of the wingless angel,
love me forever and a day.

*And I say to you,
take these broken wings,
trade them for something new,
let me fly again with you,
let me dream again with you,
let me love again with you.

this is a song like poem. The starred parts are the chorus.

I know you're in a better place and though I cannot see your face, I know you're smiling down on me, saying everything's okay. ~R Kelly (I wish)

anonymous albert ?

Member Elite

since 2001-03-23

Posts 2979

1 posted 2001-05-29 02:33 PM

i loved the way you wrote this...great job...i enjoeyd this greatly

i'm addicted to passions in poetry!...are you?

zarina
Member

since 2001-05-19

Posts 180

2 posted 2001-05-29 02:55 PM

It was nice

Allysa

Senior Member

since 1999-11-09

Posts 1952
In an upside-down garden

3 posted 2001-05-29 03:21 PM

thank you both!

I'm special!!!!! And hyper.........

I know you're in a better place and though I cannot see your face, I know you're smiling down on me, saying everything's okay. ~R Kelly (I wish)

broken wing
Junior Member

since 2001-04-30

Posts 37

4 posted 2001-05-29 03:55 PM

ok for obvious reasons i love this. you did a wonderful job here.

Teach me to fly without wings,
teach me to dream again.
I am YOUR broken angel,
you'll love me either way,
take care of the wingless angel,
love me forever and a day.

that stanza was simply wonderful! i loved it

*And I say to you,
take these broken wings,
trade them for something new,
let me fly again with you,
let me dream again with you,
let me love again with you.

and the starred parts i think are very touching.
great job, this is in my library.
broken

"To me, fair friend, u never can be old,
For as u were when first ur eye I eyed,
Such seems ur beauty still." ~W.S.

Allysa

Senior Member

since 1999-11-09

Posts 1952
In an upside-down garden

5 posted 2001-05-29 04:00 PM

thanks much! I'm glad you liked it. Nice screen name thingy, btw.

I know you're in a better place and though I cannot see your face, I know you're smiling down on me, saying everything's okay. ~R Kelly (I wish)

Dopey Dope

Moderator

Member Patricius

since 2000-08-30

Posts 11132
San Juan, Puerto Rico

6 posted 2001-05-29 11:00 PM

Allysa love, nicely done. I enjoyed this

I was born myself, raised myself, and will continue to be myself. The world will just have to adjust.

I'm in love with my shadow
I admire it daily

Allysa

Senior Member

since 1999-11-09

Posts 1952
In an upside-down garden

7 posted 2001-05-30 08:12 AM

thanks Mr. Sexy. Ya know how much I love ya!

I know you're in a better place and though I cannot see your face, I know you're smiling down on me, saying everything's okay. ~R Kelly (I wish)

Acies

Moderator

Member Rara Avis

since 2000-06-07

Posts 7665
Twilight Zone

8 posted 2001-05-31 09:16 PM

beautiful words Allysa

you've definitely gotten better with your writing
keep it up
i'll be watching your progress

I'm so sorry for doubting you Kit ... please forgive me!!!!

Allysa

Senior Member

since 1999-11-09

Posts 1952
In an upside-down garden

9 posted 2001-06-01 08:17 AM

thanks acire. you're like my big bro or something, making sure I don't get introuble when I * something, quoting everything that needs to be quoted, and making sure I don't have a nervous or mental breakdown. THANKS!!!!!!!

I know you're in a better place and though I cannot see your face, I know you're smiling down on me, saying everything's okay. ~R Kelly (I wish)

Acies

Moderator

Member Rara Avis

since 2000-06-07

Posts 7665
Twilight Zone

10 posted 2001-06-01 11:41 AM

no problem ~*hugs*~

I'm so sorry for doubting you Kit ... please forgive me!!!!

Allan Riverwood

Member Elite

since 2001-01-04

Posts 3502
Winnipeg

11 posted 2001-06-01 12:24 PM

Oh great work, Allysa! This had such a magnificent structure to it. The way it read through really got to me, your technique just shines in this piece. Capitilization of "YOUR" really hit me. Great work.

~Allan

Build a man a fire, and he's warm for a day. Set a man on fire, and he'll be warm for the rest of his life.
~Unknown

Allysa

Senior Member

since 1999-11-09

Posts 1952
In an upside-down garden

12 posted 2001-06-01 03:57 PM

Thanks Allan. It means a lot to me.

I know you're in a better place and though I cannot see your face, I know you're smiling down on me, saying everything's okay. ~R Kelly (I wish)

	⇧ top of page ⇧
All times are ET (US). All dates are in Year-Month-Day format.