navwin » Archives » Teen Poetry #4 » the truth is out
Teen Poetry #4
Post A Reply Post New Topic the truth is out Go to Previous / Newer Topic Back to Topic List Go to Next / Older Topic
little_krazy_poet
Junior Member
since 2001-05-28
Posts 41


0 posted 2001-05-29 01:18 AM


this is how it was when my first love told me that she hated me (i just wrote this)i hope you like it

it  used to be
i miss to see you
but now you don’t care
if we don‘t talk

i used to have hope
but it’s all gone
the hole thing
has gone wrong

life was...
well it was sweet
your voice
is still a treat

things used to be nice
the future was grate
but my hole life
has become seconded rate

your no longer
on the phone
it seems like
your never home

it’s over
between you and me
just to let you know
you still set me free

© Copyright 2001 Matt B... - All Rights Reserved
anonymous albert ?
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Elite
since 2001-03-23
Posts 2979

1 posted 2001-05-29 01:52 AM


good job...very sad situation where yous till love this gurl but she doesnt no more..hope things are alright now!...keep writing ...?

i'm addicted to passions in poetry!...are you?

Dopey Dope
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Moderator
Member Patricius
since 2000-08-30
Posts 11132
San Juan, Puerto Rico
2 posted 2001-05-29 02:40 AM


Well done here. I enjoyed this one. I liked it a lot.
Just to let you know. One of your poems was closed becuase you posted 4 poems on the 29th. Three is the maximum a day.
Thanks  

I was born myself, raised myself, and will continue to be myself. The world will just have to adjust.

I'm in love with my shadow
I admire it daily

anonymousfemale
Member Elite
since 2000-02-02
Posts 2797
Limbo
3 posted 2001-05-30 06:51 AM


It's never easy being told by someone you used to love that they hate you. Hope you come out of it alright.  

~AF~

Life is a mystery to be lived, not a problem to be solved."
-Van Kaam

stace_co2003
Member
since 2001-03-30
Posts 497
In a dream world
4 posted 2001-05-31 11:30 AM


it's very sad to go through something like that. but you grow from it.
enjoyed the poem, hope to hear more from you soon.

Stace

I'm just glad that now this rainstorm has ended, and I can see the rainbow once again.

Allan Riverwood
Deputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Elite
since 2001-01-04
Posts 3502
Winnipeg
5 posted 2001-06-01 11:37 AM


The last line is interesting... the way you worded it.  I like that especially in this poem.  
I think you did a decent job on this.
~Allan

Build a man a fire, and he's warm for a day.  Set a man on fire, and he'll be warm for the rest of his life.  
~Unknown

xShUgArHiGhx
Deputy Moderator 10 ToursDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Elite
since 2000-09-26
Posts 3150
tRyIn tO fIt iN2 mY oWn ShoEs
6 posted 2001-06-06 07:19 PM


Im sorry things didnt work out between u two but i think your handeling it very well...good poem  
Post A Reply Post New Topic ⇧ top of page ⇧ Go to Previous / Newer Topic Back to Topic List Go to Next / Older Topic
All times are ET (US). All dates are in Year-Month-Day format.
navwin » Archives » Teen Poetry #4 » the truth is out

Passions in Poetry | pipTalk Home Page | Main Poetry Forums | 100 Best Poems

How to Join | Member's Area / Help | Private Library | Search | Contact Us | Login
Discussion | Tech Talk | Archives | Sanctuary