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Teen Poetry #4
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Dark Angel: The Death upon Me (10 of 11)
| Teen Poetry #4 |
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Dark Angel: The Death upon Me (10 of 11) |
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Poet on Acid Member
since 2001-01-07
Posts 325Florida, USA |
Blackness My body is numb I can’t see you Only hear you Crying “Why?” you say I feel you lift me Holding my body as you cry Why are you crying? Can’t you see I’m here? I feel strange Why is he crying? What happened? A memory Rushing through my mind A knife A pain Weakness Sadness Darkness What’s next The answer makes me whimper I am too weak to cry I know the answer now Why did I do this? I can’t explain Maybe the pleasure Maybe the pain He’s calling my name I see him His face Only for a moment His eyes soft with sadness He’s holding me close Holding my head My hair He whispers something I barely hear I love you Blackness "It's too cold in the world...too cold to be alone..." - >¶Øʆ< |
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| © Copyright 2001 Tony Ryan Johnson - All Rights Reserved | |||
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Deranger Member
since 2000-05-10
Posts 498Somewhere, between here and there |
The plot thickens...ah, cliche'! Spreading insanity, one post at a time |
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anonymous albert ?
since 2001-03-23
Posts 2979 |
dark emotions were well protrayed...great job...i enjoyed this greatly...thanks for the read and you told it so well!...keepw riting  ...?i'm addicted to passions in poetry!...are you? [This message has been edited by anonymous albert ? (edited 05-28-2001).] |
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fearing-laughter Senior Member
since 2001-04-24
Posts 605land of cheese (Wisconsin) |
okay this series has to get crappy at one point, right? not everybody is perfect. WHY THE HELL IS UR POETRY SO GOOD STILL!? j/k. you made fun of my last response so i'll just shut up now. c ya. -fear- |
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cherish Senior Member
since 2001-03-25
Posts 1639swimming in fairy floss........... |
ah...i dont agree with the rest here...i think its too cliched...but the poetry is still good... |
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anonymous albert ?
since 2001-03-23
Posts 2979 |
 are you sayin that...you dont agree with mwa? [This message has been edited by anonymous albert ? (edited 05-28-2001).] |
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Dopey Dope
Moderator
Member Patricius
since 2000-08-30
Posts 11132San Juan, Puerto Rico |
Well done on this one. I see nothing wrong with this one so let me comment upon it all. I enjoy this series. Even though I have been a pain in the butt and removing almost half of it, I do like the content. I hope to see more of your work   I was born myself, raised myself, and will continue to be myself. The world will just have to adjust. |
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anonymousfemale Member Elite
since 2000-02-02
Posts 2797Limbo |
Yeah thanks alot, Dopes. Jeez...  I don't actually like this piece. The idea was there but you haven't executed it to your usual standard. Still it is another good addition to your series. ~AF~ Life is a mystery to be lived, not a problem to be solved." |
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Allan Riverwood
since 2001-01-04
Posts 3502Winnipeg |
Ooh, straight forward, AF.  I, for one, did like this. But she's often right so I might peek at the others in the series. I see in here some of your own unique creativity... and some of this reminds me of your "experimental writing form" from all those months ago.... the one-word-a-line format. Really, really cool how you incorporated this into this poem but didn't let it restrict you... you actually often did two or three words. At least, that's my theory.  ~Allan Build a man a fire, and he's warm for a day. Set a man on fire, and he'll be warm for the rest of his life. |
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