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Teen Poetry #4
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Deranger
Member
since 2000-05-10
Posts 498
Somewhere, between here and there

0 posted 2001-05-28 05:03 PM



Controllable Geek  

I’m sorry I’m not your – stupid, weak, controllable geek
I’m so sorry, I’m not worthy – to beg at your feet!
You said, you loved me – you whispered it, just for my, benefit
How dare you – how could you be so cruel, I’m not a subject, to be ruled
How dare you – take my hand, just to lead me around—did I let you down-
When I refused to be, abused, and you scream how you’re the one being, used!

Beware, this geek’s not weak; this geek’s got teeth, and I’m digging into you!
And, why, I ever sympathized for you, why I ever swore, oh I’d die for you!
And, all this irony, you shove down my throat; I’m starting to cough-
Starting to choke! See all this pain in me, and tell me honestly, your heart’s broke

If I don’t care—why do I still need you to be there, why do I still want to taste your hair?
How did you, poison me, so deeply—you burned me, like I didn’t have any skin
Damn this obsession! Can’t be free, until you come back and finish me, have the decency-
To kill me, ‘cause being buried alive…sure gets old, ye bearer of heart so cold
Have the common decency, to come back and kill me

You’ve helped me, set free, this evil in me – helped hatch, the egg Satan laid inside me
And when, I conduct the orchestra of apocalypse, I promise to kiss your lips-
One final time…just to remind, the evil you unleash, this calamity - you set free
Before you join your friends, your family – the rest of doomed humanity
The truth will break through, all your lies, and you’ll realize – it was you
Yeah you, you…oh you…who they owe, Armageddon to.


Spreading insanity, one post at a time

My skull has glowing green eyes!

[This message has been edited by Deranger (edited 05-28-2001).]

© Copyright 2001 Alexander Crino - All Rights Reserved
branden726
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Senior Member
since 2000-09-25
Posts 607
Bay City, MI
1 posted 2001-05-28 05:24 PM


Awwww What a great poem i love it...
stace_co2003
Member
since 2001-03-30
Posts 497
In a dream world
2 posted 2001-05-28 05:36 PM


that was really good. you put alot of emotion into it, but hate sucks man. it really does.
keep your chin up and keep on smilin!!
*s*
Stace

I'm just glad that now this rainstorm has ended, and I can see the rainbow once again.

anonymous albert ?
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Elite
since 2001-03-23
Posts 2979

3 posted 2001-05-28 08:30 PM


very emotional poem...graet job!...i liked it and i bet cherish will love this poem..haha ...anyways...thanks for the read ...?

i'm addicted to passions in poetry!...are you?

[This message has been edited by anonymous albert ? (edited 05-28-2001).]

Deranger
Member
since 2000-05-10
Posts 498
Somewhere, between here and there
4 posted 2001-05-28 09:36 PM


Is hate the absence of any love, or the presence of something truly evil? I can't figure this out.  It perplexes me.

Spreading insanity, one post at a time

My skull has glowing green eyes!

Dopey Dope
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Moderator
Member Patricius
since 2000-08-30
Posts 11132
San Juan, Puerto Rico
5 posted 2001-05-29 01:18 AM


Very well done.......a part that really impressed me and hit me was "cause being buried alive…sure gets old" I really liked that part cuz it's so true.
You wrote this one superbly!
I enjoyed it.

I was born myself, raised myself, and will continue to be myself. The world will just have to adjust.

I'm in love with my shadow
I admire it daily

anonymousfemale
Member Elite
since 2000-02-02
Posts 2797
Limbo
6 posted 2001-05-30 06:12 AM


Oh WOW! This has amazed me beyond words! Ok, that's not actually possible but you know what I mean. It's filled with such anger that I can connect with it immediately.

Thanks for such a fantastic read!  

~AF~

Life is a mystery to be lived, not a problem to be solved."
-Van Kaam

AngelShell
Member
since 2000-03-01
Posts 446
not heaven nor hell so...
7 posted 2001-06-02 06:54 AM


Personally I didn't think it was one of your best.
It was great, any piece from you can't be described as anything else, but it lacked something.  I don't know what.
Yes there was a lot of emotion behind it, but I think it lacked 'passion'.  That's just the way it seemed to me.

katherine
Member
since 2000-06-10
Posts 365
Canberra Australia
8 posted 2001-06-02 07:02 AM


WOW.
this is so angry and so good.
I like it!
katie

We all make mistakes. We all cause others pain. DEAL

thedarkangel
Member
since 2001-05-12
Posts 74
~*~the cutest~*~
9 posted 2001-06-02 09:05 AM


that's so cool!!!! great use of...everything!
love peace and eyeliner
angel
-x-

tattoos of memories and dead skin on trial for what it's worth it was worth all the while - Green Day

xShUgArHiGhx
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Member Elite
since 2000-09-26
Posts 3150
tRyIn tO fIt iN2 mY oWn ShoEs
10 posted 2001-06-07 10:43 PM


Dang this had a lotta emotion in it!!!!!!!!!! Impressive!!! Wonderful ::applauds::
DarkAngelOfTheStars
Member
since 2001-04-21
Posts 255

11 posted 2001-06-07 10:57 PM


lol i think everyone else said everything ill just say   ......WOW

Dont knock on deaths door ...... ring the bell and run......he hates that

kaile
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Member Ascendant
since 2000-02-06
Posts 5146
singapore
12 posted 2001-06-08 03:57 AM


Deranger,

the title intrigued me and this was a fantastic read...i very well felt the raw anger and anguish of the speaker and applaud your efforts...

to be honest, i found the last stanza to be weaker than the rest...just my opinion...

and simplistic me says hate is the presence of something evil because you can love and hate a person at the same time, yup...

keep posting...

Dr. Jo-Bizz
Member
since 2001-06-06
Posts 97

13 posted 2001-06-09 01:10 AM


eeek.. ouch.. that sucks...

dr. jo-bizz

mistic
Member
since 2001-05-06
Posts 233
Idaho, U.S.A.
14 posted 2001-06-09 01:14 PM


Awesome job  
lonely*soul
Member
since 2001-04-05
Posts 396
east haddam (moodus) ct :)
15 posted 2001-06-09 01:22 PM


OUCH  this was awsome..i like the part "cause being buried alive…sure gets old" the best..very well written!

i wanted to kill the sexiest person alive, but then i realized suicide is a crime!! :)

Spice
Senior Member
since 2001-04-13
Posts 1266
Resting in my cardboard box.
16 posted 2001-06-09 03:24 PM


Wow!
This was jam packed with strong emotions expressed greatly! Amazing work!

Ina
Senior Member
since 2000-10-09
Posts 1236
Quebec, Canada
17 posted 2001-06-09 03:45 PM


THis was amzing. Wow. There was alot of hate in this piece. but still it was awesome.

Regina

Deranger
Member
since 2000-05-10
Posts 498
Somewhere, between here and there
18 posted 2001-06-09 09:43 PM


Well, i don't hate this person anymore...in fact, i don't feel anything for her.  I don't feel anything for anyone.

I'm glad everyone likes it...i decided i hated a few things and changed them...though i really don't see a reason to update it now.

Spreading insanity, one post at a time

My skull has glowing green eyes!

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