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Teen Poetry #4
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HeAvEnS AnGeL
Member
since 2001-05-17
Posts 168
The Hot Girl From Canada

0 posted 2001-05-28 12:48 PM


Lying in my bed,
I am waiting for your call.
I want to hear your answer,
But I don't Want to fall.


For if I fall,
I know I'll get hurt.
It's like turning on the stove,
And putting your hand there to get burnt.

I know the burn will heal,
But the burn will leave a scar.
A scar deep inside my heart,
That scar will make the healing so hard.

But like most scars,
A story it will tell.
About the one time,
This little girl fell.

So when I am older,
My scar will tell a tale.
Of ho I have loved and lost,
And how my mission failed.

Don't judge a person untill you have walked a mile in their shoes, this way your a mile away from them, and you have their shoes.

© Copyright 2001 Ashley - All Rights Reserved
anonymous albert ?
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Elite
since 2001-03-23
Posts 2979

1 posted 2001-05-28 01:07 AM


wow!...powerful...true and real...you told it very well...this hit me hard...i relate to what you are saying...great job...i loved this poem ...hope to see more ...?

i'm addicted to passions in poetry!...are you?

Dopey Dope
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Moderator
Member Patricius
since 2000-08-30
Posts 11132
San Juan, Puerto Rico
2 posted 2001-05-28 02:28 AM


Very well done. Quite sad though. I hope things get better.

I was born myself, raised myself, and will continue to be myself. The world will just have to adjust.

I'm in love with my shadow
I admire it daily

anonymousfemale
Member Elite
since 2000-02-02
Posts 2797
Limbo
3 posted 2001-05-28 12:25 PM


You have used some great symbolism in this piece. Comparing the scar from a stove burn to a love burn was a really good idea.

Well done.  

~AF~

Know what you want. Become your real self.
~ David Harold Fink ~

stace_co2003
Member
since 2001-03-30
Posts 497
In a dream world
4 posted 2001-05-28 03:36 PM


wow, this was really great.
I'm adding it to my library....
hope to read more soon!!!
*s*
Stace

I'm just glad that now this rainstorm has ended, and I can see the rainbow once again.

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