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Teen Poetry #4
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fearing-laughter
Senior Member
since 2001-04-24
Posts 605
land of cheese (Wisconsin)

0 posted 2001-05-26 11:24 PM


sick of this fake world
SURROUNDING ME
SURROUNDING ME
i give up on you people
freaking carbon copied society
your all so alike
your all so naive
so happy to be alive!
bathe in your hope
and drown in it's lies
your all so stupid, so blind
you don't realize that this happiness is all in your mind
the sun will come out tomorrow
isn't that your favorite phrase?
well guess what?
tomorrow it won't (edited) shine

© Copyright 2001 bergundy - All Rights Reserved
DarkAngelOfTheStars
Member
since 2001-04-21
Posts 255

1 posted 2001-05-26 11:28 PM


hey this is kinda sad   but i know how you feel...i liked it a lot  

Dont knock on deaths door ...... ring the bell and run......he hates that

Sparkie4PLUR
New Member
since 2001-05-03
Posts 8

2 posted 2001-05-26 11:31 PM


This was an AWESOME poem..I absolutely relate to it...great job

PLUR
Sparkie

"The music will never stop, the heartbeat will never fade, the party will never end"

princess^sarah
Member
since 2001-01-12
Posts 131
melbourne
3 posted 2001-05-27 12:31 PM


hey this was really good

you expressed so much meaning

and i agree with it being kinda sad

keep up the good work and keep posting chicky pie!!!

fearing-laughter
Senior Member
since 2001-04-24
Posts 605
land of cheese (Wisconsin)
4 posted 2001-05-27 01:23 AM


hey,
thanks for replying ppl :-) i really appreciate this.  this was kind of written in a moment of pure rage...i'm over it now.  after feasting on wine coolers, fudgesicles, and sierra mist i can now say that i am not as pissed off as i was a few hours ago.  again i thank u for replying, and sarah i hope your doing better. well g'night
-fear-

anonymous albert ?
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Elite
since 2001-03-23
Posts 2979

5 posted 2001-05-27 01:48 AM


sad...youw rote it quite powerful and the edited part made it more powerful lol ...but yea i enjoyed this quite a bit...hope to see more...and you should be really "happy" cuz i never seen a reply from sarah that detailed about her feeling about the poem...haha...just kidding sarah  ...anyways...keep writing... ...?

ahhhhh....i'm addicted to passions in poetry!!!!!


[This message has been edited by anonymous albert ? (edited 05-27-2001).]

Dopey Dope
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Moderator
Member Patricius
since 2000-08-30
Posts 11132
San Juan, Puerto Rico
6 posted 2001-05-27 10:26 PM


Wow very raw and powerful stuff. I enjoyed it though. Very true and from another perspective. I enjoyed it.

I was born myself, raised myself, and will continue to be myself. The world will just have to adjust.

I'm in love with my shadow
I admire it daily

Poet on Acid
Member
since 2001-01-07
Posts 325
Florida, USA
7 posted 2001-05-27 10:58 PM


well damn, go ahead and out do me Bergundy, thanx! I see how it is...

Great work

"It's too cold in the world...too cold to be alone..." - >¶Øʆ<

anonymousfemale
Member Elite
since 2000-02-02
Posts 2797
Limbo
8 posted 2001-05-28 11:48 AM


Damn this is freakin' good! So honest and out there. Definitely in the library so when I am cut with the world, I'll read it and go "YEAH!!"  

~AF~

Know what you want. Become your real self.
~ David Harold Fink ~

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