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Teen Poetry #4
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HeAvEnS AnGeL
Member
since 2001-05-17
Posts 168
The Hot Girl From Canada

0 posted 2001-05-24 07:31 PM


I will always sit and wonder,
What she has that I don't.
I want to be with him, but he wont.
But what this girl has that I don't
Is oh so very clear,
I have heart, body, soul, and mind,
And I wont let this foolish boy waiste my time.

© Copyright 2001 Ashley - All Rights Reserved
anonymous albert ?
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Member Elite
since 2001-03-23
Posts 2979

1 posted 2001-05-24 07:38 PM


powerful and true...you shouldnt...a guy isnt worth it if he only cares a bout looks...and i guess this is a bout the same sitaution...hope things work out... ...?

if i die before i wake , i pray the lord my soul will take-"when thugs cry"

Dopey Dope
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Moderator
Member Patricius
since 2000-08-30
Posts 11132
San Juan, Puerto Rico
2 posted 2001-05-25 03:48 AM


I thought the poem was done well cept for the fact that more cuold have been added...such as: what did the girl have that you don't? It wasn't stated....

Well anyway , I liked it.

I was born myself, raised myself, and will continue to be myself. The world will just have to adjust.

I'm in love with my shadow
I admire it daily

katherine
Member
since 2000-06-10
Posts 365
Canberra Australia
3 posted 2001-05-25 08:03 AM


this is good.
hey trust me if all the guy cares about is looks then he isn't worth the time!
hope it all gets better.
katie

if you don't let them in they can't see the real you

vixengrl04
Member
since 2001-04-26
Posts 495
East Haddam, CT
4 posted 2001-05-25 12:08 PM


Ooh this is really cute!! I like the way you put this into words.  Nice job.  

~*Nikki*~

~*Of all the millions of people in the world, I'm just me.*~

the_rescue
Member
since 2001-05-23
Posts 316
Japan
5 posted 2001-05-25 01:25 PM


once agian I read something of yours and think it's great, good job. Later

the rescue

what if the invisible man could be seen would he still be treated so mean
would he live a life of pain
or would he be driven insane

xShUgArHiGhx
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Member Elite
since 2000-09-26
Posts 3150
tRyIn tO fIt iN2 mY oWn ShoEs
6 posted 2001-05-30 12:06 PM


This was such an encouraging poem! I really liked this and i liked the way you handled the situation  
anonymousfemale
Member Elite
since 2000-02-02
Posts 2797
Limbo
7 posted 2001-05-30 01:20 PM


Very positive ending. A short but very sweet delight.

Well done.  

~AF~

Life is a mystery to be lived, not a problem to be solved."
-Van Kaam

stace_co2003
Member
since 2001-03-30
Posts 497
In a dream world
8 posted 2001-05-31 12:53 PM


I like this. short sweet and to the point.
hope to read more soon.

Stace

I'm just glad that now this rainstorm has ended, and I can see the rainbow once again.

Heavens Tears
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Senior Member
since 2001-03-15
Posts 677

9 posted 2001-05-31 03:33 PM


Great poem, and this guy is defintely a waste of your time.  He sounds like a shallow kinda guy if all he looks for is appearance.

*~*Amanda*~*

My tears roll right down my cheeks, but they all soak into my pillow.  I feel kinda sorry for it...

Allan Riverwood
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Member Elite
since 2001-01-04
Posts 3502
Winnipeg
10 posted 2001-06-01 11:48 AM


I disagree with Javier... I think that the size is important in conveying that you don't know what this girl has that you don't.  I like this poem altogether, it was different than your others.  
Keep trying original formats.  
~Allan

Build a man a fire, and he's warm for a day.  Set a man on fire, and he'll be warm for the rest of his life.  
~Unknown

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