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Teen Poetry #4
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I Shall Not Awake Love Before It's Time
| Teen Poetry #4 |
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I Shall Not Awake Love Before It's Time |
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joycerogers Member
since 2001-05-16
Posts 83Texas |
You tell me you love me, But you cannot wait. You must have me now, Because desire is so great. But there is a difference between Desire and relief. Lust before commitment Robs love like a thief. I will not awake love before it’s time. To simplify the reason... There’s a love blooming in season. And though I love you More and more, There are other things that Must go afore. There must be a time of incubation, And a time of trial and process. Therefore...I will not let your sweet words Sway me to unbutton my dress. It is the crown of my glory That I must defend. Until the wedding ring is placed, You can’t move in. In giving and loving, You and I must learn, That the climax of our Love is not your deposit of sperm. Noooo sweetheart... We must not awake love before it’s time. Observe the animals and they shall teach you the nature of life in man. Observe the earth and it shall reveal the nature of life in God. |
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| © Copyright 2001 Joyce Rogers - All Rights Reserved | |||
anonymous albert ?
since 2001-03-23
Posts 2979 |
very strong message...hope lot of guys read this situation...and understand this in a different point of view as i did...great job...i really liked this poem...made me think about some stuff...hope to see more...  ...?if i die before i wake , i pray the lord my soul will take-"when thugs cry" |
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Dopey Dope
Moderator
Member Patricius
since 2000-08-30
Posts 11132San Juan, Puerto Rico |
Wonderful message to all the younge people out there in the forum. Well done for being such a strong person. I fully enjoyed this poem!  I was born myself, raised myself, and will continue to be myself. The world will just have to adjust. |
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xShUgArHiGhx
since 2000-09-26
Posts 3150tRyIn tO fIt iN2 mY oWn ShoEs |
Strong message and it was excellently written. Good job hun  |
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holatuwol Member
since 2001-04-27
Posts 72California, USA |
Hmm... it's smoothly flowing throughout most of the poem, and I thought that in of itself was really a pretty effect. The message in it seemed to be relatively clear, and the title of the poem very appropriate for the theme that seemed to be resonating within the lines of the poem. ^_^ Nice pleasant echo... those are the initial notes. Definitely a very enjoyable piece of verse. According to the constructive criticism note that you have in the header, you want to know what was felt as the poem was being read... well, all I have to say is that there's hesitation and weakness all mingled together. It's as though the author wasn't totally firm in their conviction to not awaken love... it's as if they'll give in any minute. ^_^ And yet at the same time, you doubt she will, even though there is that weakness being sensed. The rhyming and occasional lack thereof seemed to enhance that effect. Rhyme is often coupled with reason, and in some instances, you didn't rhyme, making the poem seem to possess a nice emotional flux every time it failed to rhyme and every time it did rhyme... I thought that was really neat. ^_^v In a sense, there's a tumultuous collection of emotions within the poem, and that gives it a pleasant effect... swirls of emotions that are trying to be contained. Very much the theme that echoed in the poem, and the words were well-selected to achieve that purpose. Now, I do have a tiny note against the poem... as I was reading the "I shall not awake love before it's time" and lines of a similar nature, I couldn't help but get frustrated and re-read the line and change it to "I shall not awaken love before it's time"... I'm not sure if "awake" is grammatically correct, but that hindered the flow just a tiny bit... x_X Anyways, I thought this poem was pretty and is the first work of yours that I've read, and I have to say that it left a good first-impression. ^_^ I look forward to reading the others that you've already written, as well as those you've yet to write! Until next time. - holatuwol |
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