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chasing rain
Senior Member

since 2001-05-15

Posts 737
Canada

0 posted 2001-05-23 11:27 PM

I smile at you
But it seems to go through
Like you never meant
To see it.
Were you so blind
To know in your mind
That I'm but an
Illusion to you.

Blue ribbon
Flows down into the sea
Like it was never meant
To be there.
Softly touching
The sand beneath
Then vanishing before
Your very eyes...

I touch your hand
To acknowledge your presence
It all seems too grand
For me.
Were you so cold
Or were you too bold
To see that I was there
An eternity?

Blue ribbon
Flows down into the sea
Like it was never meant
To be there.
Softly touching
The sand beneath
Then vanishing before
Your very eyes...

I stare into your eyes
Hoping to find some prize
That'll match my faith
In you.
Were you so careless
In thinking you were fearless
Against everything
I knew?

Blue ribbon
Flows down in the sea
Like it was never meant
To be there.
Softly touching
The sand beneath
Then vanishing before
Your very eyes...

And finally you see
That we are meant to be
But I turn away
From you.
Didn't you even know
That it was time I've flown
Away from all
The blue?

Throw a grain
Of sand in the sea
Throw a blue ribbon
In there for me.
All I want
Is for you to see...
That I'm not an
Illusion.

"If I find in myself desires which nothing in this world can satisfy, the only logical explanation is that i was made for another world."
-C.S.Lewis

[This message has been edited by chasing rain (edited 05-25-2001).]

anonymous albert ?

Member Elite

since 2001-03-23

Posts 2979

1 posted 2001-05-24 12:51 PM

i liked where u were getting at but to be honest the flow just didnt work out for me...i enjoyed the read...hope to see more...

...?

if i die before i wake , i pray the lord my soul will take-"when thugs cry"

Dopey Dope

Moderator

Member Patricius

since 2000-08-30

Posts 11132
San Juan, Puerto Rico

2 posted 2001-05-24 03:46 AM

Personally, I liked this one....not as good as some of your others, but I really did like this one a lot.
Well done, you are a talented writer.

I was born myself, raised myself, and will continue to be myself. The world will just have to adjust.

I'm in love with my shadow
I admire it daily

xShUgArHiGhx

Member Elite

since 2000-09-26

Posts 3150
tRyIn tO fIt iN2 mY oWn ShoEs

3 posted 2001-05-24 07:57 AM

The imagery was amazing. I could picture almost everything in my mind as i was reading. good job

chasing rain
Senior Member

since 2001-05-15

Posts 737
Canada

4 posted 2001-05-24 09:45 PM

Well, the flow might not be so great, but this too, is going to be a song, so I just wrote it to the tune in my head, so it might not make sense right now...sorry.

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