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Teen Poetry #4
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D Killer
| Teen Poetry #4 |
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D Killer |
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Dopey Dope
Moderator
Member Patricius
since 2000-08-30
Posts 11132San Juan, Puerto Rico 
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D Killer: Our fading truth of yesterday Shriveled up and dead. Lovely lies linger through The reality's in head. Sorrow claims all that was Shattered souls of thrills. Simple sun lost its light. Ah the dark, it kills!  I was born myself, raised myself, and will continue to be myself. The world will just have to adjust. I'm in love with my shadow I admire it daily [This message has been edited by Dopey_Dope (edited 05-24-2001).] |
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| © Copyright 2001 Pepe de la Muerte - All Rights Reserved | |||
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anonymous albert ?
since 2001-03-23
Posts 2979 |
beautiful and amazing writing...mr.moderator  ...i really liked this?...i really did!...very powerful...yet dark... as the images...was truly wonderful...thru how it was protryed...as i hope to see more...this poem was  ...haha cya~...  ...?if i die before i wake , i pray the lord my soul will take-"when thugs cry" [This message has been edited by anonymous albert ? (edited 05-23-2001).] |
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obscurity of cloud Member
since 2001-05-11
Posts 294....:::::******:::::.... |
i liked this a lot; the only thing that threw me off was that possessive "its" has no apostrophe...yes i'm picky...  "so when at times the mob is swayed to carry praise or blame too far, we may choose something like a star" --Frost |
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SEA 
Moderator
Member Seraphic
since 2000-01-18
Posts 22676with you |
excellent Dopey  |
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lonely*soul Member
since 2001-04-05
Posts 396east haddam (moodus) ct :) |
wow jav, i must say this was quite good, short but sooo explanatory~!! great job *KiMMiE* |
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cherish Senior Member
since 2001-03-25
Posts 1639swimming in fairy floss........... |
Simple sun lost it's light. Ah the dark, it kills! awwwwwwww.... i liked the images you portrayed in this piece javvie..as usual you've done an encellent job with it.. i gotta agree with the others here....dark and descrpitive....another one thats going through the printer!! MORE says i!! "Life is not long and boring, |
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fozzyozzy Member
since 2001-03-15
Posts 336Lessburg Virginia |
Very skillfully written, but not my fave from you, not that that's bad or anything. I dont' know, it's probably just me. Good nonetheless "The heart can think of no devotion |
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Dopey Dope
Moderator
Member Patricius
since 2000-08-30
Posts 11132San Juan, Puerto Rico |
I agree with you fozzy....it's ok. I just felt I owed a poem to post  Well thanks for all the replies people. I was born myself, raised myself, and will continue to be myself. The world will just have to adjust. |
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banburycross Senior Member
since 2001-03-27
Posts 946viginia |
well this may not be the best poem that you have ever written, but it is still beautiful i love the image you create and the flow is wonderful. great job, keep posting your work Sometimes, the things that go unsaid are the only things worth hearing. |
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kaile
since 2000-02-06
Posts 5146singapore |
i feel like fozzyozzy....perhaps i don't respond as well to more abstract stuff... i liked the last two lines very much...very simple but effective |
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Jenn Cirrincione
since 2000-07-02
Posts 2107Fl |
I think it was different from what you usually write, very short, but good nonetheless. Write for us more. Jenn "If it's wrong to love you, then my heart just won't let me be right, cause I'm drowned in you, and I won't pull through without you by my side." Mari |
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Allan Riverwood
since 2001-01-04
Posts 3502Winnipeg |
I would like to know... the last line, was it to say "The dark is threatening" or "The dark is downwright hilarious?" It could be taken either way, and it could make sense. That was what sparked my interest about this. I'll agree not your best, but that's just because your best are like... wow. ~Allan Build a man a fire, and he's warm for a day. Set a man on fire, and he'll be warm for the rest of his life. |
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Dopey Dope
Moderator
Member Patricius
since 2000-08-30
Posts 11132San Juan, Puerto Rico |
The dark was supposed to be viewed as evil and threatening....Just to let everybody know.....I LOVE to explain my poems, but I only do so if there's at least 2 people in interest of the explanation cuz they're usually long as hell hehe. But Allan, yes....dark is threatening. And thanks for saying what you said about my best.... And everybody....yes i know....this one isn't that good....i didn't like this much but it's the one that was randomly picked when my eyes were closed. SO yea. Anyway....thanks all! |
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HeAvEnS AnGeL Member
since 2001-05-17
Posts 168The Hot Girl From Canada |
*TEARS* I really liked this poem. It is so going in my library The message is what got me the most The darkness does kill!  |
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LCsftball16 Junior Member
since 2001-05-17
Posts 39 |
i really liked your poem! i really liked the alliteration.. (if i'm right or not who knowz??) like "Lovely lies linger" and "Shattered souls". just something that kinda caught my eye! |
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Child of the Stars
since 2000-09-07
Posts 1658Ann Arbor, MI |
Very cool. I'd like to hear the explanation....Thanks for posting, Javi. ~Carly "Go outside and use your own eyes. You'll be surprised to see things you've never been taught..." |
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anonymous albert ?
since 2001-03-23
Posts 2979 |
carly's back! if i die before i wake , i pray the lord my soul will take-"when thugs cry" |
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keoni Senior Member
since 2000-10-16
Posts 850Up in the mountains in the NFC |
Dopey, so it wasn't your best. But it was still very good. These two lines were bad ass: "Lovely lies linger through The reality's in head." Don't know why but I thought they were really good. Jon "Your anger is a gift"-Rage Against The Machine |
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LoneWolf Member
since 2001-03-10
Posts 384IL |
i really liked this one a lot. good job It's too bad I'm not as wonderful a person as people say I am, because the world could use a few people like that. |
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Low Man's Lyric Member
since 2001-04-03
Posts 236In a dream |
I really poem, I thought you did well and I don't think it is too short at all. Give her two red roses, each with a note. The first note says "For the woman I love" and the second, "For my best friend." |
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branden726
since 2000-09-25
Posts 607Bay City, MI |
hey this was great! i liked it..Hey sorry i havent been around just got computer back i broke it for the 10th time but anyways im glad im back to see your work and every 1 elses this was pretty good.*Tears of love* |
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Dopey Dope
Moderator
Member Patricius
since 2000-08-30
Posts 11132San Juan, Puerto Rico |
Thanks all....means a lot to me to hear you enjoy it. |
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anonymousfemale Member Elite
since 2000-02-02
Posts 2797Limbo |
Oh my...I thought I had replied to this alot earlier but obviously it hasn't been done. So sorry. I really like this. The message and piece is so simple that it leaves thoughts lingering around long after you've finished reading it. Thanks for the great read. ~AF~ "I'm not a slave to a God that doesn't exist." |
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vixengrl04 Member
since 2001-04-26
Posts 495East Haddam, CT |
Good work, I enjoyed reading it. ~*Nikki*~ ~*Of all the millions of people in the world, I'm just me.*~ |
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Fading Away
since 2001-03-14
Posts 3131Lynchburg, Virginia |
Impressive, Dopes, as usual. This may not be your best but this is still an awesome piece of work.. and one to be proud of. Nice job. --Marie "You're the girl of my nightmares, erotic and skull-faced. |
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