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Teen Poetry #4
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Allysa
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In an upside-down garden

0 posted 2001-05-23 11:08 AM


Talked to you on the phone last night,
you did most of the talking,
I did most of the listening.

Talked to you on the phone last night,
I didn't say anything for fifteen minutes,
did you even wonder why?

Talked to you on the phone last night,
and like many other times,
I didn't feel like I would ever be good enough for you.

Talked to you on the phone last night,
I'm sorry about what I said,
and I'm sorry for hanging up.

Talked to you on the phone last night,
are you sorry for what you said?
Are you sorry you hurt my feelings?

Talked to you on the phone last night,
you said you were sorry,
but did you really mean it?

I never feel good enough for you,
It feels like you are 100 times better than me,
for everything I do, you do something better.
For ever song I play, you find something better.

I never feel strong enough to tell you,
that I feel like Jesica's my fault,
that I never called her,
and I hate the way I feel.

Talked to you on the phone last night,
and it made me love you more.

I know you're in a better place and though I cannot see your face, I know you're smiling down on me, saying everything's okay. ~R Kelly (I wish)

© Copyright 2001 Allysa - All Rights Reserved
SEA
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with you
1 posted 2001-05-23 01:08 PM


a lot of emotions swirled up in this one....I liked it    SEA
DarkSilver
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since 2001-05-21
Posts 33
Six O'clock High!
2 posted 2001-05-23 01:15 PM


very meaningful
anonymous albert ?
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3 posted 2001-05-23 05:13 PM


sad yet full of emotions...u wrote it so well...i hope thinsg turn out best for u...

if i die before i wake , i pray the lord my soul will take-"when thugs cry"

Dopey Dope
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San Juan, Puerto Rico
4 posted 2001-05-23 06:33 PM


Allysa, do you have a low self esteem?
Anyhow, I felt this was quite the sad poem.
Very emotional piece.

I was born myself, raised myself, and will continue to be myself. The world will just have to adjust.

I'm in love with my shadow
I admire it daily

Spice
Senior Member
since 2001-04-13
Posts 1266
Resting in my cardboard box.
5 posted 2001-05-23 07:02 PM


Very emotional and sad piece. I think this is the second poem of yours that has referred back to your friend Jesica. I hope things get better for you soon. Stay Strong...=)
Allysa
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In an upside-down garden
6 posted 2001-05-24 10:59 AM


I don't have very low self esteem.  It was just a bad day.  Everything's better now.
banburycross
Senior Member
since 2001-03-27
Posts 946
viginia
7 posted 2001-05-24 11:47 AM


*HUG*  this is a beautiful peom, i the emotion is truly beautiuful.  i'm sorry you were feeling this way, i hope things are better noe.  this goes into my library.

Sometimes, the things that go unsaid are the only things worth hearing.

kaile
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singapore
8 posted 2001-05-24 12:41 PM


i like the way how your poem revolved around the repetition line...nicely done
xShUgArHiGhx
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tRyIn tO fIt iN2 mY oWn ShoEs
9 posted 2001-05-24 02:20 PM


This had a lotta meaning to it..good job  
Allysa
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In an upside-down garden
10 posted 2001-05-25 03:42 PM


thanks  you three.  Well, c yas!

I know you're in a better place and though I cannot see your face, I know you're smiling down on me, saying everything's okay. ~R Kelly (I wish)

Acies
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Twilight Zone
11 posted 2001-05-29 06:09 PM


Allysa, I'm glad to see your answer to Dopey's question.  What's goign on with your soap opera life   ~*hugs*~

I'm so sorry for doubting you Kit ... please forgive me!!!!

Alyssa
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IM ENGAGED!!!!!
12 posted 2001-05-30 06:08 PM


Hey!!!! this is good!
i like it alot!
it reminds me of a song or something.
keep posting!  
--± Ålyssa ±--

Marshalzu
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Lurking
13 posted 2001-05-30 08:23 PM


Great work Allysa, glad to see your reply to Dopey... Stay happy  
Zu

cherish
Senior Member
since 2001-03-25
Posts 1639
swimming in fairy floss...........
14 posted 2001-05-30 08:27 PM


i love the progression you made in this poem...you did it very well..i loved the ending ...ahhhhh..if only life continued that way....great poem allysa... ...keep posting..




"Life is not long and boring,
it's short and compelling." -Javier Agosto-

Meggie1986
Junior Member
since 2001-05-22
Posts 41
California
15 posted 2001-05-30 10:26 PM


Full of meaning and emotion.  This is a truely beautiful poem.  I loved that last bit so much.  Great job!
stace_co2003
Member
since 2001-03-30
Posts 497
In a dream world
16 posted 2001-05-30 11:36 PM


I liked this poem. everything about it. love it. keep writing please!!

Stace

I'm just glad that now this rainstorm has ended, and I can see the rainbow once again.

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