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Teen Poetry #4
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Elvenblood
Member
since 2001-02-17
Posts 409
Maine, USA

0 posted 2001-05-22 08:18 PM


     Well, here it is, my hailing comeback. lol, yeah right.  I'm a lot better now though, and I'll have poems aobut what happened to me, or one anyway, well one more, ANYWAY!


Crap comes in this side and out the other
The ones on the right against me with one another
The ones on my left, are always there to help
But half treat me as a puny little whelp

Of the right, they don’t respect
Of me, they think they know all aspect
They start conflict and spite in me
But when I start to open their eyes, they flee

Others right are brick walls closed
Audacious enough to think me unopposed
To them dictating to me who I am
When they can’t figure out their clan

They cause all my anger, I hate these people
They deserve to be tied, and hung from a steeple
With my poetry, and my music, I will descend
And raise bloody hell, their doom impend

In all their number, they are a daunting force
But they hold NO MORE sway to my course
It will be them not me, to feel the pain of my heart
They think they’re prepared, but they can’t even start

The disrespectful left, are not very good
They act like they care, but covered in a hood
Never taking me seriously, never giving a damn
They wouldn’t notice if I went from human to ham

They just want to use you, suck you dry
Your very life-force, to get it they try
Some are on and off, lulling you in
Then they turn real, and make you spin

Ahh, the joyful part of my pathetic life
The descent good, the opposite of rights
With these few people, I would never stand
To live my life, with death in my hand

They’re the ones who as what’s wrong
I speak to them once, and show them my song
After that one sentence, they offer their shoulder
And as with all of these left, support me like a boulder

My mind could collapse, and they would care
They would visit me daily, and fix my hair
It’s those little things they always help you true
Minor or serious problems, there through and through

These people on the left, are your very spirit
Put in front of you, so you can see, and clear it
They reflect your best traits, and change the rest
So that in the ultimate end, nobody can choose a best

When my life fades and goes out of sight
They will know what to do, with the remaining light
My parents will come to them, and ask: “What was he like?”
And one Left would go on and on, about this, my strike

My poetry: My massive strike against fake friends
Against hate on earth, the pain of betrayal, and life’s bends
Those I hate: be happy I’m using words, and not pain
Those of the left: I will cry for you, and never on your soul will there be a stain

No angels in heaven nor demons below the sea, could ever dissever my soul from the soul of the beautiful Annabel Lee

© Copyright 2001 Bryan W. Holmes - All Rights Reserved
punkrockerrobin
Deputy Moderator 5 ToursDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Senior Member
since 2001-05-15
Posts 1180
Sparks, NV
1 posted 2001-05-22 08:50 PM


wow!   awesome! i likes i likes i likes!!!

I AM WHAT I AM SO DEAL!

Suga_Baby
Member
since 2000-08-06
Posts 380
Maine, USA
2 posted 2001-05-22 09:11 PM


I don't even know what to SAY, this is so awesome!!!! Nice work  

,
Sara

"A dream is a wish your heart makes while you are fast asleep."

Dopey Dope
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Moderator
Member Patricius
since 2000-08-30
Posts 11132
San Juan, Puerto Rico
3 posted 2001-05-22 11:28 PM


I enjoyed this one and welcome back!

fozzyozzy
Member
since 2001-03-15
Posts 336
Lessburg Virginia
4 posted 2001-05-22 11:33 PM


Ow i hurt my jaw when it dropped open. That was amazing.

"The heart can think of no devotion
Greater than being shore to ocean
Holding the curve of one position
Counting an endless repetition"
Robert Fr

anonymous albert ?
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Elite
since 2001-03-23
Posts 2979

5 posted 2001-05-23 01:26 AM


graet poem!...it was very well written...i liekd it...hope to see more... ...?

if i die before i wake , i pray the lord my soul will take-"when thugs cry"

~sugarpie313~
Member
since 2000-09-14
Posts 375
Maine, USA
6 posted 2001-05-23 08:53 PM


Wow this was sooooooo good!!!!  i REALLY REALLY like it. You have mucho talento *L*  (i have no mucho talento in spanish hahaha) keep writing... i enjoy it. remember, writing is a weapon, much stronger then anything else.


Valerie

Why do you do what u do to me baby...you know if I could I'd do anything for you, please don't ignore me cause you know I adore you

obscurity of cloud
Member
since 2001-05-11
Posts 294
....:::::******:::::....
7 posted 2001-05-23 09:12 PM


This is PROLIFIC.  Amazing...

"so when at times the mob is swayed to carry praise or blame too far, we may choose something like a star" --Frost

lonely*soul
Member
since 2001-04-05
Posts 396
east haddam (moodus) ct :)
8 posted 2001-05-23 09:32 PM


wow, this was long, but worth the read!!! 1st ive read by you and im looking foward to seeing more!
Acies
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Moderator
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-06-07
Posts 7665
Twilight Zone
9 posted 2001-06-08 12:45 PM


Very much a good read though it's alittle too long
You did good my friend
keep it up and keep sharing
thanks for the read

hi Sweets, Lizzy, Ina, Erin, Erica, Minna, Kit, Kamie, Javi, Jenn, Sharon, Nan, Cawlee, Cherish, Val, Sara, Justine, Leah, Jess, Kimmie, Maree, Michel

Dr. Jo-Bizz
Member
since 2001-06-06
Posts 97

10 posted 2001-06-09 12:54 PM


i liked the rythm... and you spoke with such forcefulness and passion.. i always appreciate that kind of writing as well... geez... what happened to make you so spunked at people?  

dr. jo-bizz

But His word was in my heart
like a burning fire
Shut up in my bones;
I was weary of holding back,
And I could not.

stace_co2003
Member
since 2001-03-30
Posts 497
In a dream world
11 posted 2001-06-09 05:40 PM


I like the flow, and I love the poem. I however don't think it's too long. I know of no poem that can be 'too long'. (sorry Acire!)

I'm just glad that now this rainstorm has ended, and I can see the rainbow once again.

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