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Teen Poetry #4
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Godsend_1
Member
since 2001-04-19
Posts 247
great state of illinois

0 posted 2001-05-22 06:27 PM


standing in the cross hairs
trigger ready to be pulled
i wait silently for the noise to sound
and the pain to hit

it does
i die

standing in the cross hairs
trigger already pulled
now laying silently after the noise sounded
and the pain hit

and i go on living

[This message has been edited by Godsend_1 (edited 05-22-2001).]

© Copyright 2001 Ben Redshaw - All Rights Reserved
Dopey Dope
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Member Patricius
since 2000-08-30
Posts 11132
San Juan, Puerto Rico
1 posted 2001-05-22 10:30 PM


The poem was interpreted by me as symbolic. I hope I was correct about my interpretation of this poem. Regardless of everything though, I found the poem to be written well.

I was born myself, raised myself, and will continue to be myself. The world will just have to adjust.

I'm in love with my shadow
I admire it daily

anonymous albert ?
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since 2001-03-23
Posts 2979

2 posted 2001-05-23 12:32 PM


great job ben...i enjoeyd this poem...written nicely...keep writing... ...?

if i die before i wake , i pray the lord my soul will take-"when thugs cry"

punkrockerrobin
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Senior Member
since 2001-05-15
Posts 1180
Sparks, NV
3 posted 2001-05-23 03:01 AM


great poem ben! like i told ya you're so much better than me. lata hun!
robin hboy

I AM WHAT I AM SO DEAL!

SEA
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with you
4 posted 2001-05-23 11:21 AM


I definately hope I interpreted this correctly and it's not about violence towards yourself........Please note that we do have guidelines which we enforce regarding poetry depicting suicide, so should this or a future poem raise cause for concern in that regard,  we will let you know. We care a great deal about the health and well-being of all our members, and we are pleased to include you in this grouping.    SEA
Jenn Cirrincione
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since 2000-07-02
Posts 2107
Fl
5 posted 2001-05-23 01:01 PM


Yes, as a symbolic poem, this was great. However kinda sad. If it was more literal, they'll cut you off at the knees around here!! LOL

Jenn

"If it's wrong to love you, then my heart just won't let me be right, cause I'm drowned in you, and I won't pull through without you by my side." Mari

Godsend_1
Member
since 2001-04-19
Posts 247
great state of illinois
6 posted 2001-05-23 05:09 PM


no dont worry ppl it isnt about me killing myself  its about a symbolic gun and all that no worries no suicide here ok sorry i new it might be iffy but i wanted to post it so there ya go btw they last line makes it more evedent that its not real  

i am what i am and that is all that i am and all that i shall ever be..so deal with it
to make the world the greatest place is the perfect dream in

[This message has been edited by Godsend_1 (edited 05-23-2001).]

Kit McCallum
Administrator
Member Laureate
since 2000-04-30
Posts 14774
Ontario, Canada
7 posted 2001-05-23 06:52 PM


Thanks for letting us know all is well Godsend ... we appreciate it.  

Best wishes,
/Kit

[This message has been edited by Kit McCallum (edited 05-23-2001).]

Acies
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Member Rara Avis
since 2000-06-07
Posts 7665
Twilight Zone
8 posted 2001-05-23 07:21 PM


I had second thoughts too  
I did believe it was a symbolism of something though.  That something I can't figure out   but, oh well.....

"So long as men can breathe or eyes can see,
So long lives this, and this give life to thee."  W.S.

SEA
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with you
9 posted 2001-05-23 07:50 PM


I'm so glad.....
Godsend_1
Member
since 2001-04-19
Posts 247
great state of illinois
10 posted 2001-05-23 08:02 PM


yea sorry for all the worry guys

i am what i am and that is all that i am and all that i shall ever be..so deal with it
to make the world the greatest place is the perfect dream in

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