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Elusive^
Junior Member
since 2001-05-13
Posts 18
dancing fairy land

0 posted 2001-05-21 09:52 AM


jhmxdkjxckmxcmxcjmxmxcmxckxck,xck,xck,xck,xc,xkxckjdxkjxkjcxkjxkxccxkjxcxkjxjkc

Something so scathing it will make your eyes swell with blood..
Seeping slowly from the tiny pores of your cornea,
And wonder why your vision is a red film
Flickering on the wall.
Little memoirs of yourself as a kid..
Staring fixedly at another episode of a slippery soap opera.
Slides of rare poses..
You, outside in the fresh air, fresh icy air
Too cold, so cold..
Hugging your fur coat tighter around your gluttonous body.
It's only a pose.
"Can we go in now" you plead.
I put away the camera with its reel of bloody film
And watch as the plastic smile slips from your face
And drops, forgotten to the snowy clouds.

Scuttle away, go on
And place yourself in front of a box.
Hoping to find salvation?
Entertainment?
A cure for boredom?

Watching bleeding skeletons on CNN,
Sigh complacently for you are safe.

Safe from war?
Safe from pain?
Safe from destitution?

Contented friend, I ask you why..
Why are your eyeballs dripping with such ferocity
When looking at your distorted figure in the hallway
Mirror?


''I'll TAKE a QUIET life..a HANDSHAKE of CARBON monoxide with NO alarms AND no SURPRISES..''
'LaniDarkone'..underwent a change of name.

[This message has been edited by Elusive^ (edited 05-21-2001).]

© Copyright 2001 Elusive^ - All Rights Reserved
banburycross
Senior Member
since 2001-03-27
Posts 946
viginia
1 posted 2001-05-21 10:27 AM


this is the first of your work that i've read and i really like this piece.  you've written some very powerful images here and expressed your feelings well.  great job on this, keep sharing with us  

Sometimes, the things that go unsaid are the only things worth hearing.

Child of the Stars
Deputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Senior Member
since 2000-09-07
Posts 1658
Ann Arbor, MI
2 posted 2001-05-21 10:33 AM


Whoa. Yeah this was extremely powerful...jeez I liked this a lot. Into the library it goes...
  ~Carly

"I'll take in anyone who's taking off their camouflage..." ~Third Eye Blind~Camouflage

Child of the Stars
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Senior Member
since 2000-09-07
Posts 1658
Ann Arbor, MI
3 posted 2001-05-21 10:33 AM


Oops.

Dopey Dope
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Moderator
Member Patricius
since 2000-08-30
Posts 11132
San Juan, Puerto Rico
4 posted 2001-05-21 11:32 AM


Oops mu butt, she did that on purpose.


Ok well this poem was quite powerful. I really liked the language and wording within the poem. Well done on that.
The theme was very interesting...added a bit of spice to my list of reading today. Hope to read more from you!

I was born myself, raised myself, and will continue to be myself. The world will just have to adjust.

I'm in love with my shadow
I admire it daily

Linc
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Senior Member
since 2001-03-07
Posts 552
The Backstreet Boy
5 posted 2001-05-21 11:37 AM


Hey,

   I agree this is very powerful and I am glad I have a free min. to come and read it. Until your next poem

     -- Linc

"Once you reach your original goal it seems that the journey was your real accomplishment."

Low Man's Lyric
Member
since 2001-04-03
Posts 236
In a dream
6 posted 2001-05-21 11:40 AM


This is awesome! This is the first I read from and I really enjoyed it, hope to see more from you.

Give her two red roses, each with a note. The first note says "For the woman I love" and the second, "For my best friend."  
~Anonymous

Godsend_1
Member
since 2001-04-19
Posts 247
great state of illinois
7 posted 2001-05-21 04:15 PM


wow this was extremly powerful man i really liked it keep up the incredible work and i will look for more from ya

ben

i am what i am and that is all that i am and all that i shall ever be..so deal with it
to make the world the greatest place is the perfect dream in

vixengrl04
Member
since 2001-04-26
Posts 495
East Haddam, CT
8 posted 2001-05-21 04:49 PM


This was extremley powerful, I can't even explain how clear your images were and how well it struck me.  Very, very, very good job on this.  I hope to see more from you, and this piece is going in my library.  

~*Nikki*~

~*Of all the millions of people in the world, I'm just me.*~

obscurity of cloud
Member
since 2001-05-11
Posts 294
....:::::******:::::....
9 posted 2001-05-21 06:40 PM


This had such sharp imagery.  I really felt it with your words.  Excellent work.

"so when at times the mob is swayed to carry praise or blame too far, we may choose something like a star" --Frost

anonymous albert ?
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Elite
since 2001-03-23
Posts 2979

10 posted 2001-05-21 07:55 PM


great imagery and wonderfully written...great poem...i enjoyed it a lot...thanks for sharing it... ...?

if i die before i wake , i pray the lord my soul will take-"when thugs cry"

Acies
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Moderator
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-06-07
Posts 7665
Twilight Zone
11 posted 2001-06-10 11:26 PM


That was a very interesting read.  You have ways with words my friend, so keep it up and keep sharing.

hi Sweets, Lizzy, Ina, Erin, Erica, Minna, Kit, Kamie, Javi, Jenn, Sharon, Nan, Cawlee, Cherish, Ashley, Sara, Justine, Leah, Jess, Kimmie, Maree, Mic

stace_co2003
Member
since 2001-03-30
Posts 497
In a dream world
12 posted 2001-06-10 11:31 PM


I really like this poem, and I hope to hear more from you soon.   much love!

I don't have an attitude problem You have a perception problem.

Don't kick a man when he's down unless you're certain he won't get up.

Isabel Galaxia
Senior Member
since 2000-06-18
Posts 733

13 posted 2001-06-10 11:33 PM


Wow *stares* ( )
Bel

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