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Teen Poetry #4
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cherish
Senior Member
since 2001-03-25
Posts 1639
swimming in fairy floss...........

0 posted 2001-05-20 11:35 PM





     This is my place
      Full of anxieties, fears and frustrations.
      The transgression of the mean.
      A complex spectrum full of angry shades of grey.

      Wishing to be rushed along, swift and sure
      Like the train that takes me away in the day
      And catapults me back at night.

      Where things lie beneath the skin,
      And crawl behind my eyes.
      Where you see me cloistered in black
      Where I'm mourning the loss of me.

      Surrounded by nylon synthetic smiles,
      With carbonated,caffeine-free touches
      And polyester blended words.

      Where im slowly drowning-
      Drowning in the sea of energy contained
      Within a strong, waxed cardboard box

      This is my place
      Thanks but no thanks-Thank-you
      This place is mine
      This place is for me.

© Copyright 2001 cherish - All Rights Reserved
anonymous albert ?
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Elite
since 2001-03-23
Posts 2979

1 posted 2001-05-20 11:42 PM


yaayyy!!!! its cherish...go cherish! go cherish! go go go..ok...*stops before it gets out of hand* ...hehe...but w'sup glad u posting again ...well on the poem i liked this...very different...but interesting...also enjoyable read as well...very discriptive and well discribed...awesome job...and hope to see more... i mean like right now! ...cya~

if i die before i wake , i pray the lord my soul will take-"when thugs cry"

LoneWolf
Member
since 2001-03-10
Posts 384
IL
2 posted 2001-05-21 12:04 PM


Hey, i liked this one a lot. i enjoyed this one. very descriptive as albert said. so i liked it and good job.

It's too bad I'm not as wonderful a person as people say I am, because the world could use a few people like that.
I've learned that even when you th

Dopey Dope
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Moderator
Member Patricius
since 2000-08-30
Posts 11132
San Juan, Puerto Rico
3 posted 2001-05-21 11:21 AM


Cherish, well done. As always you amaze me with this poem. I have read it before and aided you a bit, but the final product exceeds all expectations....Very well done.

I was born myself, raised myself, and will continue to be myself. The world will just have to adjust.

I'm in love with my shadow
I admire it daily

banburycross
Senior Member
since 2001-03-27
Posts 946
viginia
4 posted 2001-05-21 01:17 PM


very cool images in this poem, i enjoyed the read a lot.  you did an excellent job writing this, thatnk you for sharing it  

Sometimes, the things that go unsaid are the only things worth hearing.

Marshalzu
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Member Elite
since 2001-02-15
Posts 2681
Lurking
5 posted 2001-05-21 04:41 PM


Nice to see you posting again Cherish   I really enjoyed the read... well done.
Zu

vixengrl04
Member
since 2001-04-26
Posts 495
East Haddam, CT
6 posted 2001-05-21 04:46 PM


You did really good with this Cherish, I enjoyed it for sure.  

~*Nikki*~

~*Of all the millions of people in the world, I'm just me.*~

cherish
Senior Member
since 2001-03-25
Posts 1639
swimming in fairy floss...........
7 posted 2001-05-22 07:35 PM


thanx for your comments everyone.... ....be happy to know that it's been well appreciated!!
Acies
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Moderator
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-06-07
Posts 7665
Twilight Zone
8 posted 2001-06-10 07:38 PM


Cherish --- I'm amazed.  I didn't know you had it in you.  But now I'm stunned.  This is amazing.  Excellent write my friend
~*standing ovation*~

hi Sweets, Lizzy, Ina, Erin, Erica, Minna, Kit, Kamie, Javi, Jenn, Sharon, Nan, Cawlee, Cherish, Ashley, Sara, Justine, Leah, Jess, Kimmie, Maree, Mic

cherish
Senior Member
since 2001-03-25
Posts 1639
swimming in fairy floss...........
9 posted 2001-06-12 01:09 AM


awwwwww hey acire..you dont have to do that now do you..
i was just surprised seeing this back up..and went "who on earth is reading my poetry..they must be crazy!"..hahhaa...well..i was half right wasnt i?.. ...thanks for enjoying it acire..im honoured..trully!

SEA
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Moderator
Member Seraphic
since 2000-01-18
Posts 22676
with you
10 posted 2001-06-12 05:59 PM


very cool write  
Marshalzu
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Member Elite
since 2001-02-15
Posts 2681
Lurking
11 posted 2001-06-13 01:24 PM


This deserves a few more replies...
anonymousfemale
Member Elite
since 2000-02-02
Posts 2797
Limbo
12 posted 2001-06-14 12:05 PM


*breaks into uncontrollable sobbing* I missed this!!!  

ahem...sorry 'bout that. Cherish!! This is great. The whole theme set around this is excellently written.

Be proud. Tell Johnnie Howard! He'll be proud too.  

In all seriousness, you should be proud of this piece. Lovin' it.  

Well done! So in my library.

~AF~

Just because I hear voices doesn't mean I'm crazy...SHUT UP IN THERE!!!

keoni
Senior Member
since 2000-10-16
Posts 850
Up in the mountains in the NFC
13 posted 2001-06-14 12:38 PM


This was awesome! Man, this was so good. I liked it so much. IT'S in the library.
Jon

"Your anger is a gift"-Rage Against The Machine
"Only God can judge me" Tupac Shakur

angel_2401
Member
since 2001-06-12
Posts 131
Cincinnati, OH
14 posted 2001-06-14 01:49 PM


I really like this one! I hope I get the chance to read more of your poems!  

I don't have an attitude problem You have a perception problem.

cherish
Senior Member
since 2001-03-25
Posts 1639
swimming in fairy floss...........
15 posted 2001-06-14 11:29 PM


thanx you guys!!!!.... ....
DarkSilver
Junior Member
since 2001-05-21
Posts 33
Six O'clock High!
16 posted 2001-06-16 12:03 PM


there is no way you can be the cherish I know so cuz she couldn't write that well, I'm guessing you aren't and leah just knows you for another reason. but the poem was great very effectively tells about the teenage world today.

cherish
Senior Member
since 2001-03-25
Posts 1639
swimming in fairy floss...........
17 posted 2001-06-18 01:14 AM


wow...dark!!..there's another cherish out there in the big big world?...awesome!..hehehe..no i think the cherish you and leah know is erm...me...sorry to burst your bubble sweetie.. ...im glad you enjoyed those few seconds it took you to read it..

heheh...i forgot to thank marshal for the bump...*hugs*


Fading Away
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Member Elite
since 2001-03-14
Posts 3131
Lynchburg, Virginia
18 posted 2001-06-19 12:47 PM


Wowers, Cherish!!  This is AWESOME!  I loved this poem.  Your words are beautiful.  You rock, and this poem rocks.  Excellent work!

--Marie

"Imagine a pageant...
In my head the flesh seems thicker,
Sandpaper tears corrode the filth,
And I need you now somehow." --Silverchair

cherish
Senior Member
since 2001-03-25
Posts 1639
swimming in fairy floss...........
19 posted 2001-06-21 02:40 AM


*blushes*...thank you marie  
Postman Pat
Junior Member
since 2001-08-05
Posts 23
The Great Land DownUnder
20 posted 2001-08-06 12:54 PM


I have no idea what you're going on about here Cheri-bebe. All the poems I've read of yours so far have been really depressing-but I think that this one has topped them all. It sux to know that you're feeling so Sh!tty. I mean you hardly SOUND or LOOK like that when you're at usyd. It makes me wonder what I'm missing. You do know that I'm here for you- you don't need to feel so...so whatever it is that you're feeling that makes you want to write like that.
Good poem though-everyone else seemed to enjoy it a lot too!

Low Man's Lyric
Member
since 2001-04-03
Posts 236
In a dream
21 posted 2001-09-06 09:45 PM


Ok you told me that you got this poem published in a magazine because it was good...it isn't just good, ITS AWESOME!!! Lovely job here Cherish, its really really really really terrific  , do you know where I can get a hold of one of those magazines? I wonder if they have that magazine here in Canada? Well any how great job on this poem and I see why it got published.

Don't ever compare yourself to others - in most cases they are more messed up than you are!

cherish
Senior Member
since 2001-03-25
Posts 1639
swimming in fairy floss...........
22 posted 2001-09-07 12:33 PM


Patty- you dont even come in here anymore!! ...but yeah i know you're there bud, lol too bad you cant frame the magazine  

Aaron- thanks you   it aint THAT good but yeah im really glad you liked it- you want me to send you over a copy?

S
  I
   L
     L
    Y

   P
     E
        E
     P
   S

anonymousfemale
Member Elite
since 2000-02-02
Posts 2797
Limbo
23 posted 2001-09-22 01:03 PM


Hello  

Just though I'd reply to this again considering it was in my library.  
After reading this about 4 times over I've come to the conclusion that yes, I like it.   it's so dark and very unhappy which is always a good thing because happy poetry bites.

Take care of yourself and if you lose your arms, don't worry! They'll grow back eventually.

~AF~

Please put waste in a bin
2001 McDonalds Corporation
Printed in Australia (12913)

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