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Teen Poetry #4
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Chel
Senior Member
since 2000-07-01
Posts 511
Baltimore, MD, USA

0 posted 2001-05-18 04:21 PM


I stare into the dark
Alone wondering where I have been
Where I will be
And where I am now?

I don't know how to deal with this emptiness
What have I done
A piece of me has vanished
Where has it been
Where will it be
Where is it now?

I can't see what has happened
Don't even understand
The love I had is gone
Where has it been
Where will it be
Where is it now?

"True friends stab you in the front."
"You are special and unique in your own way." "Always remember compliments you received; forget about the rude

© Copyright 2001 Michelle Y. Plocinik - All Rights Reserved
LoveBug
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since 2000-01-08
Posts 4697

1 posted 2001-05-18 04:24 PM


We all have times like this, when everything we know seems to disappear in an instant. You describe it well... I hope things get better for you. Thanks for sharing.

"Men judge generally more by the eye than by the hand, for everyone can see and few can feel."-Machiavelli

banburycross
Senior Member
since 2001-03-27
Posts 946
viginia
2 posted 2001-05-18 05:52 PM


i like the way you led into the rest of the poem with the first stanza, you used the repitition well in this case.  good job, keep writing  

Sometimes, the things that go unsaid are the only things worth hearing.

Allan Riverwood
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Member Elite
since 2001-01-04
Posts 3502
Winnipeg
3 posted 2001-05-19 01:29 PM


I really enjoyed this poem, there's not much more to say than that.     I like the questions at the end of each stanza.
Great work.
~Allan

Build a man a fire, and he's warm for a day.  Set a man on fire, and he'll be warm for the rest of his life.  
~Unknown

lonely*soul
Member
since 2001-04-05
Posts 396
east haddam (moodus) ct :)
4 posted 2001-05-19 01:34 PM


i like the way you set this up,a dn how ya asked a question at the end of each staza..and i think its safe to say we all know the feeling    good job~
             *KiMMiE*

Dopey Dope
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Member Patricius
since 2000-08-30
Posts 11132
San Juan, Puerto Rico
5 posted 2001-05-19 05:11 PM


Very well done. I liked it....what can I say?

kljdfljk;sflakjfalskj.....
hehe ok no........Hope to see more!

I was born myself, raised myself, and will continue to be myself. The world will just have to adjust.

I'm in love with my shadow
I admire it daily

Chel
Senior Member
since 2000-07-01
Posts 511
Baltimore, MD, USA
6 posted 2001-05-19 08:28 PM


Thanx to all of you who responded to my poem.  I am glad that all of you enjoyed it.  Thanx again.

Chel

"True friends stab you in the front."
"You are special and unique in your own way." "Always remember compliments you received; forget about the rude

anonymous albert ?
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Member Elite
since 2001-03-23
Posts 2979

7 posted 2001-05-21 01:21 AM


written so well...i enjoyed this a lot...hope to see more chel...thanks for sharing it... ...?

if i die before i wake , i pray the lord my soul will take-"when thugs cry"

xShUgArHiGhx
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since 2000-09-26
Posts 3150
tRyIn tO fIt iN2 mY oWn ShoEs
8 posted 2001-05-26 10:55 AM


This was one written very well..i enjoyed it  
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