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Teen Poetry #4
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Champion of the Hour
| Teen Poetry #4 |
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Champion of the Hour |
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Kosetsu Member
since 2001-03-10
Posts 450Alabama, USA |
Do I deserve this winning cup? I’m champion of the hour, But what happens when that hour’s up? I’ve got the glory now, But how long will it last? I’m champion of the hour, What happens when the final spell’s cast? ‘Friends’ of mine gather close around, Will they remain when my fame’s gone? I’m champion of the hour, What happens when the sword’s drawn? My hour’s almost up, Now we’ll see what course it has ran, I was champion of the hour, I don’t want to be that champion again. "No one holds command over me. |
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| © Copyright 2001 Adam Kamerer - All Rights Reserved | |||
SEA 
Moderator
Member Seraphic
since 2000-01-18
Posts 22676with you |
wow, this is really good  |
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Allan Riverwood
since 2001-01-04
Posts 3502Winnipeg |
Kosetsu! 'S been a while man, either it's been me away or you away, I'm not sure (I've been away.  hehe).Well I must say to this poem, good work but I think "ran" should be "run" in that context. You could rhyme it really niftily with "begun" if you like. Nice work as usual! You're one of the names I've missed since I left. ~Allan Build a man a fire, and he's warm for a day. Set a man on fire, and he'll be warm for the rest of his life. |
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Kosetsu Member
since 2001-03-10
Posts 450Alabama, USA |
Hmm..yeah, I didn't like the ran either. But I needed something to finish it and was too tired to think *wrote that at 4:00am after 27 hours of no sleep* We've both been away for a while then, cuz I took an unannounced break to think some crap out. -Kosetsu "No one holds command over me. |
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anonymousfemale Member Elite
since 2000-02-02
Posts 2797Limbo |
Sorting out of crap is always good. It's good to see you writing again, though. I love the way it finished. It's so simple but so dramatic at the same time. Very cool piece. ~AF~ Stupidity killed the cat. Curiosity was framed. |
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Dopey Dope
Moderator
Member Patricius
since 2000-08-30
Posts 11132San Juan, Puerto Rico |
VERY well done on this one. I liked it so much!  I was born myself, raised myself, and will continue to be myself. The world will just have to adjust. |
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Acies
Moderator
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-06-07
Posts 7665Twilight Zone |
goodd questions to ask in such a situation. You did well my friend. keep it up "So long as men can breathe or eyes can see, |
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Elusive^ Junior Member
since 2001-05-13
Posts 18dancing fairy land |
i know what you mean..believe me i do.. and you put it very perceptively in words..being a champion on other people's eyes, and when 'elation' deflates..and ask yourself 'why', when the 'hour is up'.. excellent..keep up putting your thoughts on paper like this.. |
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Low Man's Lyric Member
since 2001-04-03
Posts 236In a dream |
This was awesome, I really enjoy reading your poetry. Until your next one. Give her two red roses, each with a note. The first note says "For the woman I love" and the second, "For my best friend." |
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anonymous albert ?
since 2001-03-23
Posts 2979 |
i liked it...what u were trying to say came thru nicely...thanks for the read and keep writing...  ...?if i die before i wake , i pray the lord my soul will take-"when thugs cry" |
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Terryloveiris_85 Member
since 2001-04-23
Posts 61The middle of nowhere |
Yet another great work!  ~IRIS  i'd give eternity to be by your side-goo goo dolls/City of Angels soundtrack |
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