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Teen Poetry #4
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vixengrl04
Member
since 2001-04-26
Posts 495
East Haddam, CT

0 posted 2001-05-17 12:01 PM


I wrote this after seeing a speical on HBO with the same title.  

~*Nikki*~
____________________________________________________
Twirl, twirl.
Spin, spin.
Curl, curl.
WIN, WIN!
You must have the look,
to get the prize.
That long blonde hair,
those big blue eyes.
The high cheekbones,
the sculpted nose,
the perfect lips,
the cheeks of rose.
Piles of makeup,
miles till I wake up.
"This life sure is tough,
but it's what I dream of."
A plastic smile pasted on her face,
A big fluffy dress with lots of pink lace.
Hours of prep,
for one moment of fame.
But if she doesn't make it,
Her Mommy's filled with shame.  
"You must do it right,
you just have to win.
Don't fail me this time,
you embarassing little sin."
Her smile is shining,
Her eyes are so bright.
Everyone stares at her,
what a beautiful sight.
As the winner is announced,
her eyes lower down.
And her plastered smile,
fades into a frown.
A moment alone,
A moment in fear,
A moment of failure,
And one single tear.
She's six years old,
with a heavy haul.
But she's not a little girl,
She's a living doll.

© Copyright 2001 Nikki - All Rights Reserved
~*brittt*~
Member
since 2001-05-09
Posts 76
East Haddam, CT
1 posted 2001-05-17 12:37 PM


Nikki:
Ireally like this poem alot. You're really against that kinda stuff you saw on that movie huh? Anyway, great poem hun. Talk to you later
~britt~

SEA
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Member Seraphic
since 2000-01-18
Posts 22676
with you
2 posted 2001-05-17 01:21 PM


this sort of thing breaks my heart......how can mother's do that??? Excellent poem  
dramaqueen22086
Member
since 2001-05-05
Posts 50
Hadlyme, CT
3 posted 2001-05-17 08:23 PM


i like it alot...
~!kellie!~

Suga_Baby
Member
since 2000-08-06
Posts 380
Maine, USA
4 posted 2001-05-17 09:48 PM


Wow this is amazing! The sad thing is, it's true and it happens far too often... those poor girls!  

-Suga-

"A dream is a wish your heart makes while you are fast asleep."

Allan Riverwood
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since 2001-01-04
Posts 3502
Winnipeg
5 posted 2001-05-18 12:29 PM


Wow Nikki, this is the best poem I have read from you and the very best I have read all day, no doubt in my mind at all. (also note that I've replied to about 75 poems today, trying to catch up)
This is really outstanding, the flow here is perhaps the best I have seen.  I was a bit afraid you'd botch it up somewhere but no, you did not!  You just kept flowing, I read this very fast through and collected the entire story perfectly.  This poem redifines perfect flow.
As if the poem wasn't amazing enough already, we read the story as well.  What a very intersting, almost sad tale you present here of a little girl being dressed up like some doll.  It was quite disturbing and you penned it marvelously.  
The ending was toned just wonderfully.  Nothing at all was even remotely wrong with this poem, nor was anything mediocre.  It's all simply fabulous.
I have a renewed respect for your talent as a writer.  You earn a seat in my personal library, and my watchful eye on your posting activity in the future.    
I can't stress this enough.  Awesome, awesome job.
~Allan
Build a man a fire, and he's warm for a day.  Set a man on fire, and he'll be warm for the rest of his life.  
~Unknown

[This message has been edited by Allan Riverwood (edited 05-18-2001).]

Allan Riverwood
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Winnipeg
6 posted 2001-05-18 12:29 PM


(sorry for the double post, forgot the button again)
anonymous albert ?
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Member Elite
since 2001-03-23
Posts 2979

7 posted 2001-05-18 02:49 AM


amazing poem...nikki..this was written so good...i really liked what you were saying in your perspective...wonderful job and hope to see more... .../

if i die before i wake , i pray the lord my soul will take-"when thugs cry"

vixengrl04
Member
since 2001-04-26
Posts 495
East Haddam, CT
8 posted 2001-05-18 11:24 AM


Hey guys thank you for the replies.  I kinda liked this myself, and I'm glad that you did 2!!  Allan, a completely positive post from you makes me feel really good!! LOL, thanks alot!  

~*Nikki*~

~*Of all the millions of people in the world, I'm just me.*~

banburycross
Senior Member
since 2001-03-27
Posts 946
viginia
9 posted 2001-05-18 01:20 PM


i love this poem, the best i have read from you by far.  the flow wwas excellent and the words gave me those shivers you get from reading something really beautiful    this goes into my library for future reading, keep sharing all your work with us.

Sometimes, the things that go unsaid are the only things worth hearing.

banburycross
Senior Member
since 2001-03-27
Posts 946
viginia
10 posted 2001-05-18 01:23 PM


allan is rubbing off on me  *finally hits button*

Sometimes, the things that go unsaid are the only things worth hearing.

vixengrl04
Member
since 2001-04-26
Posts 495
East Haddam, CT
11 posted 2001-05-18 04:13 PM


Thanks 4 replying!!  

~*Nikki*~

~*Of all the millions of people in the world, I'm just me.*~

Dopey Dope
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Member Patricius
since 2000-08-30
Posts 11132
San Juan, Puerto Rico
12 posted 2001-05-19 02:36 PM


I did enjoy this poem highly and hope to see more from you vixen!

I was born myself, raised myself, and will continue to be myself. The world will just have to adjust.

I'm in love with my shadow
I admire it daily

xShUgArHiGhx
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since 2000-09-26
Posts 3150
tRyIn tO fIt iN2 mY oWn ShoEs
13 posted 2001-05-22 07:58 AM


Very interesting poem..i  enjoyed it  
mistic
Member
since 2001-05-06
Posts 233
Idaho, U.S.A.
14 posted 2001-05-22 04:51 PM


this is a really nice piece. I really enjoyed it  
Acies
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Moderator
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-06-07
Posts 7665
Twilight Zone
15 posted 2001-06-12 02:51 PM


I hate it when so much stress is given to a little child.  I loved the read, hope to see you share more  

hi Sweets, Lizzy, Ina, Erin, Erica, Minna, Kit, Kamie, Javi, Jenn, Sharon, Nan, Cawlee, Cherish, Ashley, Sara, Justine, Leah, Jess, Kimmie, Maree, Mic

fearing-laughter
Senior Member
since 2001-04-24
Posts 605
land of cheese (Wisconsin)
16 posted 2001-06-12 07:37 PM


i agree with everybody else. lol. byyye!
-fear-

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