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Teen Poetry #4
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jytree
Member
since 2000-01-26
Posts 336
omaha ark usa

0 posted 2001-05-17 01:39 AM


Sitting here endlessly twilding my thumbs,
stareing into a void feel empty and dumb,
Everyone I held dear has forgoten me and dissapaired,
Leaving a void within my heart,

Sitting endless wondering where I went wrong,
I start remembering things when I listen to a song,
Painful thing I would like to forget,
Yet they haunt me ever so much with no regress,

Laying in some hazy grass,
Getting lost again and remembering my past,
Such my much just good for the seanson,
If would ever want a new life this would be this reason,

Lead me not into temptation,
I can find the way there mysel



© Copyright 2001 Michael Jay vaughn - All Rights Reserved
anonymous albert ?
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Elite
since 2001-03-23
Posts 2979

1 posted 2001-05-17 01:52 AM


yep!...i agree with your poem...its a painful thing we do sometimes while liviong remembering the apst that sometimes brings happiness but more often pain...i think you have pointe dit quite well...i enjoyed it and thanks for sharing... ...?

if i die before i wake , i pray the lord my soul will take-"when thugs cry"

anonymousfemale
Member Elite
since 2000-02-02
Posts 2797
Limbo
2 posted 2001-05-17 03:02 AM


Michael, the thoughts for the piece are great but the flow was all out of whack. It got a bit challenging to read in some bits. However, your expression using great words to describe this past was well done.

For that, the flow can be overlooked.  

~AF~

Stupidity killed the cat. Curiosity was framed.
~ Unknown ~

jytree
Member
since 2000-01-26
Posts 336
omaha ark usa
3 posted 2001-05-17 02:32 PM


I am trying to get to where I can write again because for awhile back I was doing really good work but then my life went into the pot as to say and my writting has never been the same

Lead me not into temptation,
I can find the way there mysel



Dopey Dope
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Moderator
Member Patricius
since 2000-08-30
Posts 11132
San Juan, Puerto Rico
4 posted 2001-05-18 02:25 PM


I liked this one jytree.....wow I haven't seen you in a while. NIce to see you back.

I was born myself, raised myself, and will continue to be myself. The world will just have to adjust.

I'm in love with my shadow
I admire it daily

knightlyshadows
Senior Member
since 2001-04-14
Posts 791
obscured vision
5 posted 2001-05-18 02:40 PM


hey mike, i like this one hun. im glad your begining to write again. ive missed reading your work. hollaw at me when ever you need to talk. havent talked to you in forevers *hugs* miss you and hope to see you soon.
tiff

“A single choice can build destinies,or destroy them.”

I want to look into your eyes and see you smile at me
I want to hear you say "Well done"

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