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Teen Poetry #4
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A View From Her Shoes
| Teen Poetry #4 |
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A View From Her Shoes |
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Dana Samples Member
since 2001-04-07
Posts 68 |
(hey go easy on this one. it deals with someone really close to me. but not to easy because i just wrote it and i haven't been over it but once. cheers!) "A View From Her Shoes" 17 years old with a 5 month old baby boy he only plays with one or two toys cause you can’t afford to pay the rent you tell the landlord the money has already been sent workin’ two jobs tryin’ to keep food in your baby’s mouth his daddy would pay but his already done headed south and you used up all your money just tryin’ to get out for your parents were taken you done the wrong rout you only have a 11th grade education and death is just another temptation at night is when all those nightmares come along of your daddy taken advantage of you and how it felt wrong but yet you still get up to see your baby’s face he’ll usually fall asleep as you pace If you were her… What would you do? I mean what would you try and fix if you were her and you could turn back time? Would you… go and try to fix all the wrong and make it all right. Or maybe give your baby his daddy back. I’m thinkin’… you wouldn’t have a clue. You’d just be tryin’ to pay the rent and still keep food in your baby’s mouth. Don’t say you would be someone when you know damn well it ain’t true. You need to… take a look from her view. Go ahead and step into her shoes. What would it hurt to see her life and all the hell she’s gone through? By: Dana Samples 5-16-01 |
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| © Copyright 2001 Dana Samples - All Rights Reserved | |||
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banburycross Senior Member
since 2001-03-27
Posts 946viginia |
this poem was deeply honest and emotional, i like the feeling you put into it. great job on this piece, keep posting all your work. Sometimes, the things that go unsaid are the only things worth hearing. |
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Jenn Cirrincione
since 2000-07-02
Posts 2107Fl |
This is sad. It reminds of that one song...ummm "What would you do if your son was at home..." something like that...lol Keep writing! Jenn "If it's wrong to love you, then my heart just won't let me be right, cause I'm drowned in you, and I won't pull through without you by my side." Mari |
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anonymous albert ?
since 2001-03-23
Posts 2979 |
very sad and emotional...i liked it but what really want to say is i hope everything works out the best for this close person of yours  ...and keep writing...  ...?if i die before i wake , i pray the lord my soul will take-"when thugs cry" |
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anonymousfemale Member Elite
since 2000-02-02
Posts 2797Limbo |
Oh Dana, this is so sad. I hope that you be the kind of friend that this person needs as it sounds like she's not having a fantastic time in her life. ~AF~ Stupidity killed the cat. Curiosity was framed. |
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Child of the Stars
since 2000-09-07
Posts 1658Ann Arbor, MI |
Hey dude. I extremely liked this...the way you presented it was fantastic. I hope everything goes well with whoever this is..stay cool  ~Carly "I'll take in anyone who's taking off their camouflage..." ~Third Eye Blind~Camouflage |
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Heavens Tears
since 2001-03-15
Posts 677 |
This was very sad. It is so true, and I dont know what I would do in this situation. I really hope that this isnt your situation. Keep smiling.  *~*Amanda*~* |
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Dopey Dope
Moderator
Member Patricius
since 2000-08-30
Posts 11132San Juan, Puerto Rico |
This was full of emotion, honesty, and it just amazed me. I feel really bad for the girl in this situation. it's a horrible way to live...always worrying about whether or not you'll be able to eat, let alone if yer child will eat the next day. I hope she gets ok.  I was born myself, raised myself, and will continue to be myself. The world will just have to adjust. |
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Acies
Moderator
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-06-07
Posts 7665Twilight Zone |
Well, there is no turning back now and obviously no way of turning back time. All that needs to be done is stay strong for the baby. Take up responsibility and don't take the easy way out. Stay strong I'm so sorry for doubting you Kit ... please forgive me!!!! |
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SEA 
Moderator
Member Seraphic
since 2000-01-18
Posts 22676with you |
wow...at 17 I was so innocent...I didn't have a clue about anything....that poor sweet girl....at least she's doing the best she can...that makes her a hero in my book |
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Deranger Member
since 2000-05-10
Posts 498Somewhere, between here and there |
Behold; the evil that is society. Times like this, i almost think we should all be socialist...that would sure put an end to horrible stories like this...too bad communism doesn't work anywhere but on paper, as our friends the Rusians have so painfully deamonstrated. Wait, this isn't Government! Sorry! I really love the title, it's very simple...yet, i wish i would have thought of it. I like how the poem's voice becomes angry and sort of demands the reader become the girl; know her pain...feel it all. Yeah, i'm done. Spreading insanity, one post at a time |
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Meggie1986 Junior Member
since 2001-05-22
Posts 41California |
Aah, the truth... beautiful, yet terrible. This truth is put in a poem so beautifully! Great poem! *One meets his destiny often in the road he takes to avoid it. |
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Erin Member Elite
since 2000-06-15
Posts 2527~Chicago~ |
Dana~ You have opened up yourself to a world that is so true. Dropping out of school, having a baby early, actually just taking life the hard way. But you did a great job!!!And no one should be harsh with this one because its the way our world is today and you just expressed what its like. "If you should die before me, ask if you could bring a friend." [This message has been edited by ERIN (edited 06-05-2001).] |
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