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Passions in Poetry

Permanent Changes ( Free Verse.)

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Spice
Member Elite
since 04-13-2001
Posts 4474
Resting in my cardboard box.


0 posted 05-16-2001 06:12 PM       View Profile for Spice   Email Spice   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to Submit your Poem to Passions   Click to visit Spice's Home Page   View IP for Spice

See- You people were so nice to me when I finally got the guts to post one of my "poems" that I thought I'd grace you with another. ( Aren't you regretting that now? )
I wrote this last night. I couldn't sleep. I had so many thoughts and feelings in my head that I just had to let out. And I did, Through my pencil. So although this has no pattern, no rhyme scheme, no meters- in fact- it just looks like talking....It still means alot to me. It's me. It's how I feel. Maybe the way I wrote it shows you the emotion in it??? I don't know. I just couldn't see it rhyming or anything. Oh well. Probably just me. So here!

~Permanent Changes.~

Something has changed.
I never catch you looking at me anymore.
That cute sideways grin is rarely shot my direction.
You aren't rushing home to talk to me.
Where's the I love you's?
The hugs
The kisses
Why is everything vanishing?
Was it something I did or said?
Or perhaps
Something I didn't.

I want to cry now
No- Die.
I hope someday you hurt like me.


Yes, Things have changed.
You are looking at her again.
Charming her with your grins and wits.
Spending "our" quality time
My time
With her instead.
The I love you's
The hugs
The kisses
She has them again.
I said I loved you.
I helped you heal.

I want to hate her.
But I can't.
You see- All she did was whistle-
You were the one that ran back.


So- Here's a change for you to chew on.
And sweetheart, this change is permanent.
I won't be looking at you again.
My love
My kisses
My all
Gone.
I'm not helping you again.
Yes- I say again.
There will be a time you need me.
You will need me to tend your wounds.
Because trust me, she'll burn you again.
Just like you did me.

I want to laugh at you now
But I'll wait till your hurting.
I'm sure I won't be waiting long.


[This message has been edited by Spice (edited 05-16-2001).]

© Copyright 2001 Jessica L. Thompson - All Rights Reserved
Suga_Baby
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since 08-06-2000
Posts 400
Maine, USA


1 posted 05-16-2001 06:27 PM       View Profile for Suga_Baby   Email Suga_Baby   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Suga_Baby

"I want to hate her.
But I can't.
You see- All she did was whistle-
You were the one that ran back.
So- Here's a change for you to chew on.
And sweetheart, this change is permanent."

HAHAHA this part is great, it's my fave! Nice work  

,
Suga

"A dream is a wish your heart makes while you are fast asleep."

Dopey Dope
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since 08-30-2000
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San Juan, Puerto Rico


2 posted 05-16-2001 06:27 PM       View Profile for Dopey Dope   Email Dopey Dope   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Dopey Dope

Wow....this really hit me.....strange....very strange aswell. It's funny cuz i'm in the same.....the same exact situation....and it sounds like this poem is speaking to ME......I enjoyed the poem though. very nicely done.....chilling....very chilling.

I was born myself, raised myself, and will continue to be myself. The world will just have to adjust.

I'm in love with my shadow
I admire it daily

Heavens Tears
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since 03-15-2001
Posts 832


3 posted 05-16-2001 06:38 PM       View Profile for Heavens Tears   Email Heavens Tears   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Heavens Tears

I really like this one.  You do great with free verse.  It still had some poetic element to it that still makes it poetry obviously.  Sorry you are going through this.  :Hugz:  

*~*Amanda*~*

My tears roll right down my cheeks, but they all soak into my pillow.  I feel kinda sorry for it...

banburycross
Senior Member
since 03-27-2001
Posts 1087
viginia


4 posted 05-16-2001 07:37 PM       View Profile for banburycross   Email banburycross   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for banburycross

this is incredible writing, you certainly did capture a lot of emotion in this poem.  each line has you poured into it and the fnal product turned out beautifully    wonderful job, keep posting.

Sometimes, the things that go unsaid are the only things worth hearing.

Spice
Member Elite
since 04-13-2001
Posts 4474
Resting in my cardboard box.


5 posted 05-16-2001 09:04 PM       View Profile for Spice   Email Spice   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Spice's Home Page   View IP for Spice

You like me! You really like me! HaHa

Seriously though- I was afraid to post this one because I thought so highly of it. Not that it's anything amazing at all- It's just that it was me- My emotions- my feelings at the time...and to reject it- would be to reject me...and I couldn't take that.
But thanks so much for the praise in it. It means alot to me.

Suga_Baby- That was my favorite part too! HaHa- I got to have an attitidue-I got to be strong. I loved that part. And saying she whistled- he can running back- symbolized the dog in him. hahahahaha.

And Dopey_Dope- Good. It was suppose to hit you hard.
anonymous albert ?
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since 03-23-2001
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6 posted 05-17-2001 01:55 AM       View Profile for anonymous albert ?   Email anonymous albert ?   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for anonymous albert ?

hey!...im back to reply...i liekd this one...obviously a emotional peiece quite powerful...i like dit lots...and i hope you show youri grace again...sometime soon...hehe...keep writing... ...?

if i die before i wake , i pray the lord my soul will take-"when thugs cry"

anonymousfemale
Member Ascendant
since 02-02-2000
Posts 6304
Limbo


7 posted 05-17-2001 03:12 AM       View Profile for anonymousfemale   Email anonymousfemale   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for anonymousfemale

Suga picked out my favourite part too. I just got an image of a Warner Bros. cartoon when that part was read.
It's a great piece with powerful feelings. It always helps to get this stuff out of you.

Thanks for the read.

~AF~

Stupidity killed the cat. Curiosity was framed.
~ Unknown ~

Morouxshi San
Member
since 10-11-2000
Posts 207
San Juan, Puerto Rico


8 posted 05-18-2001 12:23 AM       View Profile for Morouxshi San   Email Morouxshi San   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Morouxshi San

well. as carly once told me when talking about writting "San you have very good thoughts you just dont have the gift", i think this is definetly something MORE than just thoughts. it is so nicely explained and detailed.

Guys overall suck. exept for a few, and those few normally dont have an ex-girlfriend to run back to.
*hint**hint*

I think im going to bed.
this was a nice read to finish the day.

San, the wise
San, the dumb
San, the guy...

HeAvEnS AnGeL
Member
since 05-17-2001
Posts 214
The Hot Girl From Canada


9 posted 05-18-2001 12:30 AM       View Profile for HeAvEnS AnGeL   Email HeAvEnS AnGeL   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for HeAvEnS AnGeL

I loved this poem!
I was in this very same situation not to long ago
and it brang the memories flooding back
You have a beautiful gift
and he is just giving you the oppertunity
to share it with the world  
and hunny dont worry
someone else will relize how great you are
and they will laugh at him  
xShUgArHiGhx
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since 09-26-2000
Posts 3830
tRyIn tO fIt iN2 mY oWn ShoEs


10 posted 05-19-2001 11:56 AM       View Profile for xShUgArHiGhx   Email xShUgArHiGhx   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit xShUgArHiGhx's Home Page   View IP for xShUgArHiGhx

Ahhh i loved this poem!!!! You go gurl!!! LoL   Stupid guy..i cant believe he would do this to you!! Guys can be so annoying that way. You did the right thing tho..you took control and wouldnt allow him to hurt u...i really do hope you laugh in his face when he gets hurt again! Great job on this on...
Dopey Dope
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San Juan, Puerto Rico


11 posted 05-19-2001 03:09 PM       View Profile for Dopey Dope   Email Dopey Dope   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Dopey Dope

Once again....well done on the poem.....
Acies
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since 06-07-2000
Posts 14805
Twilight Zone


12 posted 05-22-2001 06:09 PM       View Profile for Acies   Email Acies   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Acies

Talking about pouring your heart out
Passions in Poetry in writing
I like it when feelings are just written down as is
No worrying of the rhyme scheme or meter.
That's why I love free verse.  I believe it shows more emotion
And you just proved my thoughts to be right
I loved the read  

"So long as men can breathe or eyes can see,
So long lives this, and this give life to thee."  W.S.

[This message has been edited by acire (edited 05-22-2001).]

Maynard
Junior Member
since 06-29-2001
Posts 12
IL


13 posted 06-30-2001 01:06 AM       View Profile for Maynard   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Maynard

nice, i like the aggressive tone towards the end

"I have nothing to tell you or sell you for the moment... but thank you for asking."

Spine Grinder
Senior Member
since 10-28-2000
Posts 1147
Standing In Silence...


14 posted 06-30-2001 01:54 PM       View Profile for Spine Grinder   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Spine Grinder

this was good. i liked this .

fall hard, practice harder not to fall
Don't belong, Don't exist, Don't give a S***, Don't ever judge me  -Slipknot

anonymousfemale
Member Ascendant
since 02-02-2000
Posts 6304
Limbo


15 posted 09-07-2001 03:13 PM       View Profile for anonymousfemale   Email anonymousfemale   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for anonymousfemale

I just had to reply to this again. Reading this and reading some of your other pieces really does show how far you have come as a poet, Jesa. You have grown so much and are able to show so much more in your poetry now. I love seeing poets hit a stage where they just change their style completely.

Well done on this too. It read a lot like someone we all know about.

~AF~

"Kelly's my Hero!" "No, Kelly's your heroine." "Kelly has heroin??" "What?"

 
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