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Teen Poetry #4
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chasing rain
Senior Member
since 2001-05-15
Posts 737
Canada

0 posted 2001-05-15 09:34 PM


Cold, dark, and silent
Outside they glare
Inside they struggle
To keep warm
These shadows
Cling to my bare existance
My breath, my life
Will no one help me now
As I lay
Helpless on the ground?
Chilled stone
It warms my soul
Cast away all
In the deep dark world.
I'm alone,
In this silent place
I am deaf,
But I hear it all.
Their cries surround me
Their pleas engulf me
In their misery.
This world
Completes me
Somehow, it shows the
Other side
Of me.



© Copyright 2001 chasing rain - All Rights Reserved
xShUgArHiGhx
Deputy Moderator 10 ToursDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Elite
since 2000-09-26
Posts 3150
tRyIn tO fIt iN2 mY oWn ShoEs
1 posted 2001-05-15 09:36 PM


welcome to Passions  

This was a great first post...I really enjoyed it! Keep em comin!

obscurity of cloud
Member
since 2001-05-11
Posts 294
....:::::******:::::....
2 posted 2001-05-15 11:48 PM


Great first post!  Welcome to Passions; keep sharing your work!




"so when at times the mob is swayed to carry praise or blame too far, we may choose something like a star" --Frost

anonymous albert ?
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Elite
since 2001-03-23
Posts 2979

3 posted 2001-05-16 12:07 PM


welcome welcome welcome
this was a really great first post...i enjoyed this  alot...thanks for the read and hope you stay around to post read and reply...cya~... ...?

if i die before i wake , i pray the lord my soul will take-"when thugs cry"

Dopey Dope
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Moderator
Member Patricius
since 2000-08-30
Posts 11132
San Juan, Puerto Rico
4 posted 2001-05-16 04:33 AM


Welcome to Passions, I hope you enjoy your stay here. I liked the poem a lot. Well done!
Check your e-mail for a special message!

Dopey/mod
<---- Pepe/Deputy Mod.

I was born myself, raised myself, and will continue to be myself. The world will just have to adjust.

I'm in love with my shadow
I admire it daily

anonymousfemale
Member Elite
since 2000-02-02
Posts 2797
Limbo
5 posted 2001-05-16 04:49 AM


Welcome to the funniest place on earth
***Disney land not included***


If any piece is able to send shivers down my spine, this one would be it. It's darkness made me want to write the entire thing over my walls in big black texta.
I hope to see many more in the future.  

~AF~

Stupidity killed the cat. Curiosity was framed.
~ Unknown ~

SEA
Deputy Moderator 10 ToursDeputy Moderator 5 Tours
Moderator
Member Seraphic
since 2000-01-18
Posts 22676
with you
6 posted 2001-05-16 09:25 AM


Welcome   I like your name.....this is a great first post    SEA
banburycross
Senior Member
since 2001-03-27
Posts 946
viginia
7 posted 2001-05-16 10:01 AM


Welcome to Passions!!

i really like your username, cool beans    this is a wonderful first post, you have a lot of talent and i look forward to reading lots more form you in the future.  keep posting and replying.

Sometimes, the things that go unsaid are the only things worth hearing.

Marshalzu
Deputy Moderator 10 ToursDeputy Moderator 10 ToursDeputy Moderator 5 ToursDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Elite
since 2001-02-15
Posts 2681
Lurking
8 posted 2001-05-16 10:16 AM


*** Welcome to Passions ***
Great first post well done, I really enjoyed the read hope to see more of your work soon.  
Marshal Zu

" The tree of liberty must be refreshed from time to time with the blood of patriots" -Thomas jefferson

E-mail/Msn: Targetmrzu@hotmail.com

Child of the Stars
Deputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Senior Member
since 2000-09-07
Posts 1658
Ann Arbor, MI
9 posted 2001-05-16 12:09 PM


*sighs happily* Ah, rain. And what a first post...one I can relate to well. Keep posting, and hope you enjoy it here.  
  ~Carly

"I'll take in anyone who's taking off their camouflage..." ~Third Eye Blind~Camouflage

keoni
Senior Member
since 2000-10-16
Posts 850
Up in the mountains in the NFC
10 posted 2001-05-16 01:45 PM


Great first post. Welcome to Passions! This was an awesome first post. I can't wait till the next one.
Jon

"Your anger is a gift"-Rage Against The Machine
"Only God can judge me" Tupac Shakur

Godsend_1
Member
since 2001-04-19
Posts 247
great state of illinois
11 posted 2001-05-16 02:59 PM


very cool i loved the way it all fit togehter welcome to passions and beware the puprle penguin and the blue monkey they are acting up again
ben redshaw the great

i am what i am and that is all that i am and all that i shall ever be......so deal with it

to make the world the greatest place is the perfect dre

Acies
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Moderator
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-06-07
Posts 7665
Twilight Zone
12 posted 2001-05-17 07:27 PM


WELCOME TO PASSIONS!!!

Glad to see you joining us here in Passions for Poetry.  i hope you do enjoy this site as much as we all do.  If you would like to get to know the other writers of this forum, I suggest you visit the teen chat forum in the discussion lounge.  Happy posting

"So long as men can breathe or eyes can see,
So long lives this, and this give life to thee."  W.S.

Lakewalker
Member Elite
since 2000-08-05
Posts 3289
On the streets w/ people
13 posted 2001-05-17 07:51 PM


Welcome to Passions
Great job on your first post here!  I like the shortness of your lines, it makes the poem so easy to read.  I hope you stay around and enjoy it here

"Be kind for everyone you meet is fighting a harder battle" Plato.

Allan Riverwood
Deputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Elite
since 2001-01-04
Posts 3502
Winnipeg
14 posted 2001-05-18 12:00 PM


*grins at Carly*  Rain indeed.  (inside thingie between me   and Carly  )
Ok to be honest about this I felt it ended prematurely.  If you go back and add a stronger conclusion, I'd enjoy this a lot more.  
Welcome to Passions in Poetry.  I hope to see more of you in here reading, replying and sharing with the rest of us!
~Allan

Build a man a fire, and he's warm for a day.  Set a man on fire, and he'll be warm for the rest of his life.  
~Unknown

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