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Teen Poetry #4
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XFalloutX
Junior Member
since 2001-05-13
Posts 31
NC

0 posted 2001-05-15 03:29 PM


She is the one for me
My heart tells me so
It skips a beat every time I see her
I wish she knew how I feel
How I wish me and her could be
But thats all it is only a wish
But I'll still love her
Till the day I die
My heart skips a beat only for her

"should I smile because we are friends or cry because thats all will ever be?"

© Copyright 2001 XFalloutX - All Rights Reserved
banburycross
Senior Member
since 2001-03-27
Posts 946
viginia
1 posted 2001-05-15 03:38 PM


i like the way you ended this piecfe, it gave the poem a nice little twist at the end.  good jobn on this, keep posting your work.

Sometimes, the things that go unsaid are the only things worth hearing.

Marshalzu
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Member Elite
since 2001-02-15
Posts 2681
Lurking
2 posted 2001-05-15 03:59 PM


I liked this piece especially the ending... good job  
Mr mr Zu

anonymous albert ?
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since 2001-03-23
Posts 2979

3 posted 2001-05-15 05:12 PM


i liked it also it was nice throughout the whole poem...thanks for the read... ...?

if i die before i wake , i pray the lord my soul will take-"when thugs cry"

Suga_Baby
Member
since 2000-08-06
Posts 380
Maine, USA
4 posted 2001-05-15 10:40 PM


Awww I never knew you felt this way about me!! You don't even know me!*blushes*   *LMAO* hahaha great poem!

"A dream is a wish your heart makes while you are fast asleep."

obscurity of cloud
Member
since 2001-05-11
Posts 294
....:::::******:::::....
5 posted 2001-05-15 11:05 PM


This is very decent...though try to avoid the cliche of "til the day that I die" and variations of it.  Keep posting!  

"so when at times the mob is swayed to carry praise or blame too far, we may choose something like a star" --Frost

stace_co2003
Member
since 2001-03-30
Posts 497
In a dream world
6 posted 2001-05-16 03:26 PM


awwww, Patrick!! how come you never said any of this when we were dating?? so what if it was only a week!! nah, I'm just playing...you did a great job, but.....no, nevermind...you'll just tell me no!!

loves ya!!
*s*
Stace

Dopey Dope
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Member Patricius
since 2000-08-30
Posts 11132
San Juan, Puerto Rico
7 posted 2001-05-17 03:08 AM


Well done.....I liked this one very much.

I was born myself, raised myself, and will continue to be myself. The world will just have to adjust.

I'm in love with my shadow
I admire it daily

xShUgArHiGhx
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Member Elite
since 2000-09-26
Posts 3150
tRyIn tO fIt iN2 mY oWn ShoEs
8 posted 2001-05-18 02:40 PM


Great job on  this one..Short and sweet  
Acies
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Member Rara Avis
since 2000-06-07
Posts 7665
Twilight Zone
9 posted 2001-06-05 03:46 PM


Tell her......
That's all I have to say

hi Sweets, Lizzy, Ina, Erin, Erica, Minna, Kit, Kamie, Javi, Jenn, Sharon, Nan, Cawlee, Allan, Val, Sara, Justine, Leah, Jess, Kimmie, Maree, Michele,

SEA
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Member Seraphic
since 2000-01-18
Posts 22676
with you
10 posted 2001-06-05 04:13 PM


this is wonderfully sweet and YES!!! Tell her!  
ethel lahootie
Member
since 2001-03-06
Posts 143
SC, USA
11 posted 2001-06-05 04:47 PM


i agree w/everyone else...TELL HER!! ull never know what really could have happened unless u tell her. find out...there is a chance that something good could come from it. and great job on the poem! i enjoyed it!   ~ethel~
xShUgArHiGhx
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since 2000-09-26
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tRyIn tO fIt iN2 mY oWn ShoEs
12 posted 2001-06-10 11:28 AM


I know this might sound a lil repetative...but....TELL HER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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