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Teen Poetry #4
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Allysa
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since 1999-11-09
Posts 1952
In an upside-down garden

0 posted 2001-05-15 01:59 PM


As I walk this place,
alone and scared,
my soul seperatted from yours,
remember when I said-
don't ever let me go.

Hold me close to your heart,
hold my pale cold soul,
don't shed one single tear for me,
just remember what I said when I said-
don't ever let me go.

I never got to tell you,
how much you meant to me,
and remember what I said,
when you held me and I said-
don't ever let me go.

Don't ever let me go,
for I might never be able to come back,
Don't ever loose me know,
and remember what I said when I said-
Don't ever let me go.

for JWO5719 aka Justin

I know you're in a better place and though I cannot see your face, I know you're smiling down on me, saying everything's okay. ~R Kelly (I wish)

© Copyright 2001 Allysa - All Rights Reserved
banburycross
Senior Member
since 2001-03-27
Posts 946
viginia
1 posted 2001-05-15 03:41 PM


i liked the repitition in this piece, i think it was used well in this case.  good job on another wonderful poem, i always like reading your work.

Sometimes, the things that go unsaid are the only things worth hearing.

anonymous albert ?
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Member Elite
since 2001-03-23
Posts 2979

2 posted 2001-05-15 05:14 PM


great job on the poem...i like how you have written this as it went well with the poems emotions ...i enjoyed this a lot... ...?

if i die before i wake , i pray the lord my soul will take-"when thugs cry"

Pixie-Babe03
Member
since 2000-08-29
Posts 387
Central Maine
3 posted 2001-05-15 05:52 PM


oh my god i LOVE this poem!  it brought a tear to my eyes!!   great work!!  
-=Justine=-

-=Love starts with a SMILE, grows with a KISS, and ends with a TEAR=-

obscurity of cloud
Member
since 2001-05-11
Posts 294
....:::::******:::::....
4 posted 2001-05-15 10:13 PM


This is so sweet, touching, and sentimental, and i love it.  

"so when at times the mob is swayed to carry praise or blame too far, we may choose something like a star" --Frost

Dopey Dope
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Member Patricius
since 2000-08-30
Posts 11132
San Juan, Puerto Rico
5 posted 2001-05-18 05:15 PM


Very emotional poem here allysa. I thought you did well and hope all is ok.

I was born myself, raised myself, and will continue to be myself. The world will just have to adjust.

I'm in love with my shadow
I admire it daily

Acies
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Member Rara Avis
since 2000-06-07
Posts 7665
Twilight Zone
6 posted 2001-05-21 09:31 AM


Allysa, your poems lately has so much emotions too them.  ANd that is good.  Hope this are working out.  Where have you been anyways?  

"So long as men can breathe or eyes can see,
So long lives this, and this give life to thee."  W.S.

Allysa
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Senior Member
since 1999-11-09
Posts 1952
In an upside-down garden
7 posted 2001-05-22 08:35 AM


well, guess what.  Summer vaca is in ten days, and unless I get my new comp. soon, I might be gone.  IN the past, you might have noticed that I'm not here in the summer, and I might not be here this summer.  I dunno.
punkrockerrobin
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since 2001-05-15
Posts 1180
Sparks, NV
8 posted 2001-05-23 02:54 AM


man i need to let my bf read this cus i always tell him don't let me go. WOW!awesome awesome!awesome!
robin

I AM WHAT I AM SO DEAL!

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