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Teen Poetry #4
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Pixie-Babe03
Member
since 2000-08-29
Posts 387
Central Maine

0 posted 2001-05-13 07:49 PM


okay- to be blunt this poem kinda sucks... but i wanted to post it anyways   *L*


-=Goodbye=-

The end is near
it is in my sights,
this is goodbye
for another night.

I will miss your touch,
your sweet embrace
but will remember the smile
upon your face.

So goodbye my love
for another day,
In my head,
your memmory will play.

-=Love starts with a SMILE, grows with a KISS, and ends with a TEAR=-

© Copyright 2001 Justine - All Rights Reserved
banburycross
Senior Member
since 2001-03-27
Posts 946
viginia
1 posted 2001-05-13 07:58 PM


This doesn't suck, the shorter lines really help the flow of this a lot.  short and sweet, i like this poem.  keep posting your work  

Sometimes, the things that go unsaid are the only things worth hearing.

obscurity of cloud
Member
since 2001-05-11
Posts 294
....:::::******:::::....
2 posted 2001-05-13 09:18 PM


I agree, i think this is really touching. Keep posting!

"so when at times the mob is swayed to carry praise or blame too far, we may choose something like a star" --Frost

anonymous albert ?
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Elite
since 2001-03-23
Posts 2979

3 posted 2001-05-14 12:13 PM


this was really good...i liked the emaing and the flow..and this didnt suck at all...thansk for the reda.. ...?

if i die before i wake , i pray the lord my soul will take-"when thugs cry"

Suga_Baby
Member
since 2000-08-06
Posts 380
Maine, USA
4 posted 2001-05-15 04:55 PM


Teenie this is really cute!   I know the feeling, too... not right NOW, but you know *LOL* You know who it is... Hopefully soon though?? *crosses her fingers*

ya!
Beanie

"A dream is a wish your heart makes while you are fast asleep."

~sugarpie313~
Member
since 2000-09-14
Posts 375
Maine, USA
5 posted 2001-05-18 03:33 PM


hey sorry i missed this...   not like my reply matters but hey what tha hell(o) *L* haha
this one's okay, and cuz i'm nosy, who does sara mean?? LMAO

Val

Why do you do what u do to me baby...you know if I could I'd do anything for you, please don't ignore me cause you know I adore you

Dopey Dope
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Moderator
Member Patricius
since 2000-08-30
Posts 11132
San Juan, Puerto Rico
6 posted 2001-05-18 05:57 PM


Very very very good job!
Me likes!

I was born myself, raised myself, and will continue to be myself. The world will just have to adjust.

I'm in love with my shadow
I admire it daily

Acies
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Moderator
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-06-07
Posts 7665
Twilight Zone
7 posted 2001-05-18 11:28 PM


This doesn't suck
I actually like it a lot
I believe simple expression is beautiful
and you did exactly that
thanks for sharing

"So long as men can breathe or eyes can see,
So long lives this, and this give life to thee."  W.S.

xShUgArHiGhx
Deputy Moderator 10 ToursDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Elite
since 2000-09-26
Posts 3150
tRyIn tO fIt iN2 mY oWn ShoEs
8 posted 2001-05-23 05:47 PM


This one was short and sweet...very good!
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