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Teen Poetry #4
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thedarkangel
Member
since 2001-05-12
Posts 74
~*~the cutest~*~

0 posted 2001-05-13 01:22 PM


*this is a poem i wrote ages ago and posted back in the days when we were on the other forum so here it is just for you. Plus it's about the same guy as in "Better?"*


I touch his face while he is sleeping
His eyelids flutter because he is dreaming
My heart pounds within my chest
to know that i'm with him
and that he doesn't care about the rest.

He holds me closer
And i turn to face him
His eyes are deep and brown
sleepy under the lids
So i kiss his forehead
and rest my head upon his chest
as we fall asleep together.

It's a thought remembered forever
away from prejudice
as a colour and a white
hold each other together.

© Copyright 2001 laura - All Rights Reserved
Suga_Baby
Member
since 2000-08-06
Posts 380
Maine, USA
1 posted 2001-05-13 01:24 PM


Wow! I really like this, the imagery is so good... I can just see the whole thing in my mind... it's really precious! Nice work  

,
Suga

"A dream is a wish your heart makes while you are fast asleep."

anonymous albert ?
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Elite
since 2001-03-23
Posts 2979

2 posted 2001-05-16 02:37 AM


hey...this was a sweet poem...the images was nice...i enjoyed the read...keep writing... ...?

if i die before i wake , i pray the lord my soul will take-"when thugs cry"

banburycross
Senior Member
since 2001-03-27
Posts 946
viginia
3 posted 2001-05-16 09:49 AM


this is a beautiful image, there is nothing better than going to sleep in the arms of someone you love.  increbile words here, i like this a lot.

Sometimes, the things that go unsaid are the only things worth hearing.

Dopey Dope
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Moderator
Member Patricius
since 2000-08-30
Posts 11132
San Juan, Puerto Rico
4 posted 2001-05-17 03:11 AM


I liked this. Very good job on this one.

I was born myself, raised myself, and will continue to be myself. The world will just have to adjust.

I'm in love with my shadow
I admire it daily

Hidden
Junior Member
since 2001-05-17
Posts 18
Lost in my own world
5 posted 2001-05-17 09:44 AM


I really like this poem. It really makes me smile just to think about the one I love but then cry because I've lost him. Know i just remember the times when i did fall asleep in his arms. Keep writing!
Heavens Tears
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Senior Member
since 2001-03-15
Posts 677

6 posted 2001-05-17 09:48 AM


That is good that you have overcome any differences.  I like this poem alot.  Keep it up.

*~*Amanda*~*

My tears roll right down my cheeks, but they all soak into my pillow.  I feel kinda sorry for it...

Acies
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Moderator
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-06-07
Posts 7665
Twilight Zone
7 posted 2001-05-18 05:47 PM


This is so peaceful and serene.  I love the way you expressed it.  ~*applauds*~

"So long as men can breathe or eyes can see,
So long lives this, and this give life to thee."  W.S.

Allan Riverwood
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Member Elite
since 2001-01-04
Posts 3502
Winnipeg
8 posted 2001-05-19 01:22 PM


Very good job!  I especially like "as a colour and a white hold each other together."  This was very, very well worded.  
Such a creative piece, one of my favourites of yours.     Keep on posting for us.
~Allan

Build a man a fire, and he's warm for a day.  Set a man on fire, and he'll be warm for the rest of his life.  
~Unknown

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