To My Mother (Mother's Day Poem)

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Low Man's Lyric
Member

since 2001-04-03

Posts 236
In a dream

0 posted 2001-05-12 11:39 PM

*I wrote this for my mom and I will be giving it to her on her mother's day (tomorrow), I think this is a villanelle and it's my first try at it.*

To My Mother

I have something that I want to say;
You have raised me and kept me strong,
From my birth and to this day.

If you weren't here I would have gone astray,
In my heart I know, this is where I belong.
For you have shown me love everyday.

We always share a laugh no matter what we say,
Even if we act silly and try to imitate a song,
From my birth and to this day.

Those memories will remain even long after today,
No matter where I go, I will always carry you along,
For my heart loves you everday.

Because of you I know that I can go all the way,
No matter what I do right or wrong,
Your words will be in my mind, for me to replay.

I have something that I need to say;
Today or tomorrow, I will love you all yearlong,
No matter where I am or where I may lay.
I hope you have a great Mother's Day.

Give her two red roses, each with a note. The first note says "For the woman I love" and the second, "For my best friend."
~Anonymous

Lakewalker
Member Elite

since 2000-08-05

Posts 3289
On the streets w/ people

1 posted 2001-05-12 11:47 PM

This is going to be such a good mother's day present, good job on the poem

"Be kind for everyone you meet is fighting a harder battle" Plato.

anonymous albert ?

Member Elite

since 2001-03-23

Posts 2979

2 posted 2001-05-12 11:51 PM

i liked it...and it showed how much you care and that is whats most imporant...your moms gonna loves it thanks for sharing it with us...

...?

if i die before i wake , i pray the lord my soul will take-"when thugs cry"

Child of the Stars

Senior Member

since 2000-09-07

Posts 1658
Ann Arbor, MI

3 posted 2001-05-13 08:48 AM

Awww...heh she'll love it. Awesome poem.

~Carly

"I'll take in anyone who's taking off their camouflage..." ~Third Eye Blind~Camouflage

banburycross
Senior Member

since 2001-03-27

Posts 946
viginia

4 posted 2001-05-13 11:41 AM

this isn't quite a villanelle, but it is a truly beautiful poem. i know your mom will love this, it is sweet and sincere. i gave my mom a poem for mothers day too, maybe i'l post it. great job, keep writing.

Sometimes, the things that go unsaid are the only things worth hearing.

silvrduck
Member

since 2000-11-05

Posts 146

5 posted 2001-05-13 12:59 PM

Oooh, This was a beautiful poem

I'm sure your mother will absolutely love it.
Good job.. keep posting!

*love is blind; friendship closes its eyes.*

LoveBug

Moderator

Member Elite

since 2000-01-08

Posts 4697

6 posted 2001-05-13 01:03 PM

The meter isn't exactly what this form calls for, but the emotions are perfectly portrayed and that's all that matters. (A non-technical writer right here!!) I'm sure your mother will appreciate this gift. Thanks for sharing.

"Men judge generally more by the eye than by the hand, for everyone can see and few can feel."-Machiavelli

lonely*soul
Member

since 2001-04-05

Posts 396
east haddam (moodus) ct :)

7 posted 2001-05-13 02:59 PM

aww..your mommy will luv this...there are soo many mothersday poems today hehe
*KiMMiE*

Acies

Moderator

Member Rara Avis

since 2000-06-07

Posts 7665
Twilight Zone

8 posted 2001-05-16 06:31 PM

Are you a mama's boy like me?

she'll love this

"So long as men can breathe or eyes can see,
So long lives this, and this give life to thee." W.S.

Dopey Dope

Moderator

Member Patricius

since 2000-08-30

Posts 11132
San Juan, Puerto Rico

9 posted 2001-05-17 03:02 PM

I'm a momma's boy too!!
hehe

Well done on this one. Such a wonderful poem!
I mean it too hehe.

I was born myself, raised myself, and will continue to be myself. The world will just have to adjust.

I'm in love with my shadow
I admire it daily

Allan Riverwood

Member Elite

since 2001-01-04

Posts 3502
Winnipeg

10 posted 2001-05-17 11:13 PM

Nice format, although not a Villanelle.

The Villanelle format is five tercains and a quatrain (as you had), with two basic rhymes (as you had).
However, the first and last lines of the first stanza are alternately the last line of the following stanzas.  For example, if this rule were applied to YOUR poem:

"I have something that I want to say;
You have raised me and kept me strong,
From my birth and to this day.

If you weren't here I would have gone astray,
In my heart I know, this is where I belong.
I have something that I want to say.

We always share a laugh no matter what we say,
Even if we act silly and try to imitate a song,
From my birth and to this day.

Those memories will remain even long after today,
No matter where I go, I will always carry you along,
I have something that I want to say.

Because of you I know that I can go all the way,
No matter what I do right or wrong,
From my birth and to this day.

I have something that I need to say;
Today or tomorrow, I will love you all yearlong,
I have something that I want to say.
From my birth and to this day."

.... would be about how it would look.
However, villanelle is not so simple.
You must also utilize some form of iambic meter, such as pentameter, hexameter, trimeter, tetrameter... etc.  If you don't know what this is by now, email me.

Still a great poem as is. Not a villanelle, and now you know why.

~Allan

Build a man a fire, and he's warm for a day. Set a man on fire, and he'll be warm for the rest of his life.
~Unknown

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