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Teen Poetry #4
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TearsOfPearls
Member
since 1999-09-23
Posts 322
Vereeniging, South-Africa

0 posted 2001-05-12 12:42 PM


Okay, so this I wouldn't call a really good poem, more like a mixed salad of feelings, but just think how you would feel if someone asked you since when are your two "best friends" your enemies...and you know nothing about it! But don't worry   ...

I wanna shout,
I wanna scream
and tell you how I feel.
I wanna kick,
I wanna hit
and make something unheel.

I wanna break,
I wanna hurt
and make you feel the pain.
I wanna crush,
I wanna insult
and do it over and over again.

I wanna calm down,
I wanna breath
and tell you it's no lie.
I wanna sit still,
I wanna...who am I kidding,
I wanna die.  

Planning big can be a gamble...I have already rolled the dice!

© Copyright 2001 TearsOfPearls - All Rights Reserved
knightlyshadows
Senior Member
since 2001-04-14
Posts 791
obscured vision
1 posted 2001-05-12 12:47 PM


lol i loved the description of da salad :P
twas cutish
o and btw i hope all works out with u and wuts this is about! *hugs* hollaw if ya needs to talks

lol but the poem dude i liked it.....ive so been there..not the same situation but the feelings yes! u did a great job describin how u feel in this and i enjoyed the twist at the end very much so three cheers for you! lol
woo hoo
tiff


“A single choice can build destinies,or destroy them.”

"u say i only here wut i want too..."

[This message has been edited by knightlyshadows (edited 05-12-2001).]

anonymous albert ?
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Member Elite
since 2001-03-23
Posts 2979

2 posted 2001-05-12 01:05 PM


good job...i liked the wya you wrote it...it showed your point a little stronger....thanks for sharing... ...?

if i die before i wake , i pray the lord my soul will take-"when thugs cry"

Angel Bee
Member
since 2001-01-30
Posts 176
Virginia
3 posted 2001-05-12 01:29 PM


i liked this, keep writing,
~AB~

*~"Sometimes I wish I was a little girl again--because bruised knees heal faster than broken hearts."~*

obscurity of cloud
Member
since 2001-05-11
Posts 294
....:::::******:::::....
4 posted 2001-05-12 01:51 PM


Wow, yes, i've been there.  I think the feeling behind this poem is what drives it, and with some revision, you might be more comfortable.  Definetly post if you change anything!

"so when at times the mob is swayed to carry praise or blame too far, we may choose something like a star" --Frost

xShUgArHiGhx
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Member Elite
since 2000-09-26
Posts 3150
tRyIn tO fIt iN2 mY oWn ShoEs
5 posted 2001-05-13 10:01 PM


You can call it a poem or a tossed salad but i call it extraordinary!! Amazing job and i think we all feel like this every now and then...in my case more like a couple of times a day!! But excellent job!!! ::applause::
Marshalzu
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Member Elite
since 2001-02-15
Posts 2681
Lurking
6 posted 2001-05-14 10:32 AM


Great work, I really enjoyed this although i'm not sure about the salad??? I prefer cabbage myself... anyway good job on the poem...  
Mr mr Zu

" The tree of liberty must be refreshed from time to time with the blood of patriots" -Thomas jefferson

E-mail/Msn: Targetmrzu@hotmail.com

banburycross
Senior Member
since 2001-03-27
Posts 946
viginia
7 posted 2001-05-14 01:33 PM


powerful ending, you caught me off gaurd with the last line.  a think that it does have a great mixture of emotion and that you do a beautiful job expressing yourself.  great job, keep posting.

Sometimes, the things that go unsaid are the only things worth hearing.

Elusive^
Junior Member
since 2001-05-13
Posts 18
dancing fairy land
8 posted 2001-05-14 02:25 PM


powerful..very very powerful..like somebody blasting it 'in your face'..show it to people involved..keep posting

(I vaguely remember you..from my last user name.."LaniDarkOne"..*waves* hello )

''I'll TAKE a QUIET life..a HANDSHAKE of CARBON monoxide with NO alarms AND no SURPRISES..''
'LaniDarkone'..underwent a change of name.

TearsOfPearls
Member
since 1999-09-23
Posts 322
Vereeniging, South-Africa
9 posted 2001-05-14 02:42 PM


Heya everyone, thanks so much for your positive replies, I appreciate it... and heya Lani! Great to see you back  

Planning big can be a gamble...I have already rolled the dice!

vixengrl04
Member
since 2001-04-26
Posts 495
East Haddam, CT
10 posted 2001-05-14 06:15 PM


I really liked the way  you wrote this and especially the way that you ended it.  Good work, and I can relate to the feeling.  

~*Nikki*~

~*Of all the millions of people in the world, I'm just me.*~

Dopey Dope
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Moderator
Member Patricius
since 2000-08-30
Posts 11132
San Juan, Puerto Rico
11 posted 2001-05-18 03:15 PM


Yes it does seem like quite a dilema.
I hope all is well with you soon. Great vent.

I was born myself, raised myself, and will continue to be myself. The world will just have to adjust.

I'm in love with my shadow
I admire it daily

Acies
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Moderator
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-06-07
Posts 7665
Twilight Zone
12 posted 2001-06-05 03:16 PM


Hope you're not serious about the last line
Very expressive poem
keep it up

hi Sweets, Lizzy, Ina, Erin, Erica, Minna, Kit, Kamie, Javi, Jenn, Sharon, Nan, Cawlee, Allan, Val, Sara, Justine, Leah, Jess, Kimmie, Maree, Michele,

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