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Teen Poetry #4
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stace_co2003
Member
since 2001-03-30
Posts 497
In a dream world

0 posted 2001-05-12 11:14 AM



You are my baby-
The one I love,
The one my heart is dreaming of

I long to feel your warm embrace
taste your kiss,
touch your face.

I wanna be the one with you at night-
Laying in your arms
Holding on tight.

with you I want to spend many years
be there for all the joy,
And dry all your tears.

I still have yet to meet you,
Or even see your face.
But someday, down the road,
I know we will embrace.

© Copyright 2001 Stacy Caudill - All Rights Reserved
Ina
Senior Member
since 2000-10-09
Posts 1236
Quebec, Canada
1 posted 2001-05-12 11:18 AM


This was awesome! Such imagery!wow

Regina

"Take a look at my face, there's no price I won't pay
To say these words to you"bon jovi

knightlyshadows
Senior Member
since 2001-04-14
Posts 791
obscured vision
2 posted 2001-05-12 12:08 PM


gawwsh that was greats!!!!
the beginnin was so like awwwwww how sweet
and then the end when u hadnt even met him yets! blew me away...wasnt expecting that!
ur in me library for sure *clicks on da button so she wont forgets* great job on this!!!!  
tiff

“A single choice can build destinies,or destroy them.”

"u say i only here wut i want too..."

anonymous albert ?
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Elite
since 2001-03-23
Posts 2979

3 posted 2001-05-12 01:01 PM


very nicely written...i enjoyed this poem..a lot...keep writing... ...?

if i die before i wake , i pray the lord my soul will take-"when thugs cry"

Angel Bee
Member
since 2001-01-30
Posts 176
Virginia
4 posted 2001-05-12 01:36 PM


i thought the poem was good, the ending seemed as if the rhyme was forced, but the rest was well writteh, keep writing,
~ab~

*~"Sometimes I wish I was a little girl again--because bruised knees heal faster than broken hearts."~*

Jenn Cirrincione
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Member Elite
since 2000-07-02
Posts 2107
Fl
5 posted 2001-05-12 05:00 PM


Wow. I can really relate to this. I mean, you can feel that strongly for someone you've never even met. I'm living proof on that one. It's a weird situation.... but I believe it is possible. Good luck.

Jenn

"If it's wrong to love you, then my heart just won't let me be right, cause I'm drowned in you, and I won't pull through without you by my side." Mari

Marshalzu
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Member Elite
since 2001-02-15
Posts 2681
Lurking
6 posted 2001-05-12 07:18 PM


Another great piece, keep on sharing  
Zu.

" The tree of liberty must be refreshed from time to time with the blood of patriots" -Thomas jefferson

E-mail/Msn: Targetmrzu@hotmail.com

banburycross
Senior Member
since 2001-03-27
Posts 946
viginia
7 posted 2001-05-13 11:15 AM


This is beautifully written, i like this piece a lot.  the flow and rhyme of this is really good and the imagery is excellent.  thanks for the read, keep posting your work.

Sometimes, the things that go unsaid are the only things worth hearing.

Acies
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Moderator
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-06-07
Posts 7665
Twilight Zone
8 posted 2001-05-15 10:39 AM


Beautiful beautiful
such a serene read
really perfect
thanks for sharing

"So long as men can breathe or eyes can see,
So long lives this, and this give life to thee."  W.S.

~*brittt*~
Member
since 2001-05-09
Posts 76
East Haddam, CT
9 posted 2001-05-15 12:16 PM


That was totally awsome. I love how it built up to the ending like that. PERFECT!
~*brittt*~

Dopey Dope
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Moderator
Member Patricius
since 2000-08-30
Posts 11132
San Juan, Puerto Rico
10 posted 2001-05-16 04:54 PM


Net pal? Well done on this one. I enjoyed it.

I was born myself, raised myself, and will continue to be myself. The world will just have to adjust.

I'm in love with my shadow
I admire it daily

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