navwin » Archives » Teen Poetry #4 » This Rock
Teen Poetry #4
Post A Reply Post New Topic This Rock Go to Previous / Newer Topic Back to Topic List Go to Next / Older Topic
Ina
Senior Member
since 2000-10-09
Posts 1236
Quebec, Canada

0 posted 2001-05-12 11:14 AM


Hey everyone! Heres my poem...


The waves roll upon the rocks
tearing and grinding away
years of life
Filled with anger
empty with happiness
Show it the beauty
teach it the hate
Destroy it before it starts
help it fall after it's gone
Be the hate it needs
don't give it the love
Cause this rock pain
don't let it see the horrid
joy
Push it out of your life
So all it does is learn
bitter anger and deep depression
because who needs love and happiness
not this rock
not this rock, that is me......

Regina

"Take a look at my face, there's no price I won't pay
To say these words to you"bon jovi

© Copyright 2001 Regina Levy - All Rights Reserved
knightlyshadows
Senior Member
since 2001-04-14
Posts 791
obscured vision
1 posted 2001-05-12 11:59 AM


first off ......i like ur signature.....bon jovi   woo hoo! lols
second......i like this poem alots! i dont recall readin ne more of ur work but im sure i haves..but i thought u did a very good job on this...im addins it to me library  

because who needs love and happiness
not this rock
not this rock, that is me......
^ loved that *points*
tiff


“A single choice can build destinies,or destroy them.”

"u say i only here wut i want too..."

[This message has been edited by knightlyshadows (edited 05-12-2001).]

knightlyshadows
Senior Member
since 2001-04-14
Posts 791
obscured vision
2 posted 2001-05-12 12:21 PM


*clicks on da lil button to add to mes library*  

“A single choice can build destinies,or destroy them.”

"u say i only here wut i want too..."

Hacas
Junior Member
since 2001-05-05
Posts 25

3 posted 2001-05-12 12:29 PM


This was a very good poem Ina. Keep up the good work!

"Fight for what you believe in"
"Stay yourself no matter what people say"

Lakewalker
Member Elite
since 2000-08-05
Posts 3289
On the streets w/ people
4 posted 2001-05-12 12:50 PM


Good job on this poem, I think it really gets your point across.  This part:
"Cause this rock pain
don't let it see the horrid
joy"
seemed to bother me as far as flow is concerned.  You still did a really good job though

"Be kind for everyone you meet is fighting a harder battle" Plato.

obscurity of cloud
Member
since 2001-05-11
Posts 294
....:::::******:::::....
5 posted 2001-05-12 01:20 PM


I really like your use of free verse.  The abrupt positioning of "joy" was great, it puts a real caesura in the poem.  Til next time!  

so when at times the mob is swayed to carry praise or blame too far, we may choose something like a star

anonymous albert ?
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Elite
since 2001-03-23
Posts 2979

6 posted 2001-05-12 01:24 PM


i have read this couple of times and the emaning behind this poem was quite deep...i enjoyed every verse and they all went together..beayutifully....great poem... ...?

if i die before i wake , i pray the lord my soul will take-"when thugs cry"

Ina
Senior Member
since 2000-10-09
Posts 1236
Quebec, Canada
7 posted 2001-05-12 04:15 PM


Thanks every one

Lakewalker-i really didnt want a flow to it...

You guys understand it? i dont

Regina

"Take a look at my face, there's no price I won't pay
To say these words to you"bon jovi

Acies
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Moderator
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-06-07
Posts 7665
Twilight Zone
8 posted 2001-05-14 06:34 PM


Everyone needs love
~*hugs Ina*~  

"So long as men can breathe or eyes can see,
So long lives this, and this give life to thee."  W.S.

Dopey Dope
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Moderator
Member Patricius
since 2000-08-30
Posts 11132
San Juan, Puerto Rico
9 posted 2001-05-15 03:38 AM


Back off Acire, that constitutes for sexual harrassment! Oooooooooo!!!!!!!!  

Anyway Regi, nice pic cutie *hugs* hehe

So hey i really loved the ending of this poem. Very powerful. Well done regi!

I was born myself, raised myself, and will continue to be myself. The world will just have to adjust.

I'm in love with my shadow
I admire it daily

keoni
Senior Member
since 2000-10-16
Posts 850
Up in the mountains in the NFC
10 posted 2001-05-15 11:11 AM


Excellent poem Regina, except I don't believe you don't need love. I mean come on, Bon Jovi is your signature. That's a quote from "Always", one of the best love songs around.hmmm....
Jon
P.S. Just giving you a hard time

"Your anger is a gift"-Rage Against The Machine
"Only God can judge me" Tupac Shakur

Ina
Senior Member
since 2000-10-09
Posts 1236
Quebec, Canada
11 posted 2001-05-15 11:28 AM


Jon.....grrrrr.....
sometimes we dont need love. And at that moment i was very angry
lately thats been me....volatile chick

Regina

"Take a look at my face, there's no price I won't pay
To say these words to you"bon jovi

Allan Riverwood
Deputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Elite
since 2001-01-04
Posts 3502
Winnipeg
12 posted 2001-05-15 07:12 PM


Ooooh  @pic

Second of all...

Ooooh  @poem

Aw what the heck.

@Ina

Hehe  
~Allan

Build a man a fire, and he's warm for a day.  Set a man on fire, and he'll be warm for the rest of his life.  
~Unknown

Post A Reply Post New Topic ⇧ top of page ⇧ Go to Previous / Newer Topic Back to Topic List Go to Next / Older Topic
All times are ET (US). All dates are in Year-Month-Day format.
navwin » Archives » Teen Poetry #4 » This Rock

Passions in Poetry | pipTalk Home Page | Main Poetry Forums | 100 Best Poems

How to Join | Member's Area / Help | Private Library | Search | Contact Us | Login
Discussion | Tech Talk | Archives | Sanctuary