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Teen Poetry #4
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Wood_Stock
Member
since 2001-05-09
Posts 58
The little yellow

0 posted 2001-05-12 02:58 AM



-Across the Crowded Room-


Mindless bodies wandering,
With no clear picture of their destination.
And air of confusion, I feel boxed in,
Alone in the swarming mass.

I see you across the room,
A vast sea of commotion lies between us.
We try to come together, braving the current.
Eyes locked, space forgot, we are swept apart.

I am drowned in this space,
Sucked down into the murky depths.
Pushed and pulled, as mindless as the rest.
But, I know where I want to be.

There is no consideration in the torrent,
People are swept up and spat out.
None the wiser,
And what of us?  Apart once more.

Weaving upstream, three steps forward, two back,
To be met with an angry glance by the oncoming mob.
I don't care.  I will find you again.
For the world couldn't stand in my way.

© Copyright 2001 Noel Wilson - All Rights Reserved
SEA
Deputy Moderator 10 ToursDeputy Moderator 5 Tours
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Member Seraphic
since 2000-01-18
Posts 22676
with you
1 posted 2001-05-12 03:02 AM


I've had many dreams, just exactly like this...very well done!!  
anonymous albert ?
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Elite
since 2001-03-23
Posts 2979

2 posted 2001-05-12 03:03 AM


written nicely on what you were getting at..i liked the last verses..very good job...keep writing... ...?

if i die before i wake , i pray the lord my soul will take-"when thugs cry"

Ina
Senior Member
since 2000-10-09
Posts 1236
Quebec, Canada
3 posted 2001-05-12 11:07 AM


This is one of the first poems ive read from you. Very discriptive language.  POwerful.

Regina

"Take a look at my face, there's no price I won't pay
To say these words to you"bon jovi

TearsOfPearls
Member
since 1999-09-23
Posts 322
Vereeniging, South-Africa
4 posted 2001-05-12 04:09 PM


Gee, I though this one was excellent, very well written, nice theme.

Great job!

Planning big can be a gamble...I have already rolled the dice!

obscurity of cloud
Member
since 2001-05-11
Posts 294
....:::::******:::::....
5 posted 2001-05-12 04:36 PM


Great writing!  Very fluid.  Keep posting.

"so when at times the mob is swayed to carry praise or blame too far, we may choose something like a star" --Frost

Dopey Dope
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Moderator
Member Patricius
since 2000-08-30
Posts 11132
San Juan, Puerto Rico
6 posted 2001-05-16 05:51 PM


I thought it was good. I liked it!

I was born myself, raised myself, and will continue to be myself. The world will just have to adjust.

I'm in love with my shadow
I admire it daily

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