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Teen Poetry #4
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My realm...
| Teen Poetry #4 |
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My realm... |
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Ceinwyn Member Elite
since 2000-07-09
Posts 2175VA 
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Deep within the shadows of the night You come to comfort and hold me tight Carressing my heart And numbing my brain Just by whispering out my name You sing a lonesome lullaby As I meander within my dreams Your hot breath against my skin Stops any intruders hoping to make my soul scream With you in the night, I'm no longer alone You hold my hand Guiding my soul back to it's home My eyes can't seem to trace your face But my heart can touch every crevice and surface The celestial beams of the moon Shines right through the very essence of what you are And I love you more than you'll ever know Even though you are too afraid to show So for as long as you want Stay in the shadows And comfort me as much as you care for For as long as you stay I'll never close the door to my soul, nor my dreams For you are forever welcome in my realm... "Let me be the one you call, if you jump I'll break your fall, lift you up and fly away with you into the night" ~Crash and Burn~ |
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| © Copyright 2001 Kristen Brandon - All Rights Reserved | |||
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fractal007 Senior Member
since 2000-06-01
Posts 1958 |
Ceinwyn: Good poem. The rhyming here was quite good. So was the hyperbole. I think that the person this is addressed to will like it a lot. "If history is to change, let it change. If the world is to be destroyed, so be it. If my fate is to die, I must simply laugh" |
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Suga_Baby Member
since 2000-08-06
Posts 380Maine, USA |
Ooooooh pretty  I really enjoyed this! Great job!   ,Suga "A dream is a wish your heart makes while you are fast asleep." |
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DragonFang Senior Member
since 2000-03-09
Posts 522Missouri, USA |
I really liked this one. Umm.. not feeling original in what I say tonight, but, this was really very sweet. I hope who it was written for likes it. "Sa souvraya niende missian ye." \ |
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anonymous albert ?
since 2001-03-23
Posts 2979 |
i really liked this one..great job...the emaining behind this poem was very enjoyable to read..thanks for sharing and keep writing...  ...?if i die before i wake , i pray the lord my soul will take-"when thugs cry" |
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banburycross Senior Member
since 2001-03-27
Posts 946viginia |
i also liked the rhyme in this one, i thought that was particularly well done. you did a wonderful job job on this, good writing Sometimes, the things that go unsaid are the only things worth hearing. |
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Marshalzu 
since 2001-02-15
Posts 2681Lurking |
Great poem and i'm sure whoever you wrote about it would treasure it. Mr Zu " The tree of liberty must be refreshed from time to time with the blood of patriots" -Thomas jefferson |
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knightlyshadows Senior Member
since 2001-04-14
Posts 791obscured vision |
ok i enjoyed this very much! loved the message in it. *Hugs* i hope he knows how u feel hun. 'You hold my hand Guiding my soul back to it's home My eyes can't seem to trace your face But my heart can touch every crevice and surface... ...So for as long as you want Stay in the shadows' ^ that was just great! *points* cant wait to c more of your work. tiff  “A single choice can build destinies,or destroy them.” |
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Allan Riverwood
since 2001-01-04
Posts 3502Winnipeg |
Wonderful work, Kristen! I too liked the scattered and often internal rhyme to this piece, it gave it a very turbulent flow that I fell in love with. The message was so very inviting, I thought this poem was great! ~Allan Build a man a fire, and he's warm for a day. Set a man on fire, and he'll be warm for the rest of his life. |
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mistic Member
since 2001-05-06
Posts 233Idaho, U.S.A. |
I really liked this poem. It made me smile for some reason, maybe because it's close to something I would write for my boyfriend. |
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Linc
since 2001-03-07
Posts 552The Backstreet Boy |
Hey, Wonderful poem! I enjoyed reading it and I am emailing it to a friend. Until your next poem -- Linc "Once you reach your original goal it seems that the journey was your real accomplishment." |
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Acies
Moderator
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-06-07
Posts 7665Twilight Zone |
~*sigh*~ this is just simply beautiful "So long as men can breathe or eyes can see, |
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Dopey Dope
Moderator
Member Patricius
since 2000-08-30
Posts 11132San Juan, Puerto Rico |
I really enjoyed this. Great job! Wow.....you wrote this one so well.  I was born myself, raised myself, and will continue to be myself. The world will just have to adjust. |
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