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Teen Poetry #4
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LoneWolf
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since 2001-03-10
Posts 384
IL

0 posted 2001-05-09 10:50 PM


ok everyone. heres the thing i wrote this upon the request of a friend. she wants to aske her b/f to prom with this (if you want the whole story i posted something in the teen chat). i think it sucks i'm not sure if i'm even done yet. well here it is


Special words
For one I love

Together we have been
For eight wonderful months

This time with you is precious
But this I know you see

Powers great have put us together
I know we will be, through any kind of weather

Every time you near
I forget all my fears

Lost in your gaze
I find my way

My darling, my dear
Know that I always want you here

Our hearts beat
Upon the same note

So many days and nights
We have spent together

All we need now is just be
So tell me now

Will you go to Prom with me?


It's too bad I'm not as wonderful a person as people say I am, because the world could use a few people like that.

I've learned that even when you

© Copyright 2001 Colin Heffernan - All Rights Reserved
Allan Riverwood
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Member Elite
since 2001-01-04
Posts 3502
Winnipeg
1 posted 2001-05-10 12:19 PM


This is quite romantic... if you want it to look more professional (this is just for looks primarily) then make it into four-line stanzas instead of couplets, with the last line at the end.
Sound good?  Other than that I like the poem, it's simple and would serve it's purpose.  
~Allan

Build a man a fire, and he's warm for a day.  Set a man on fire, and he'll be warm for the rest of his life.  
~Unknown

LoneWolf
Member
since 2001-03-10
Posts 384
IL
2 posted 2001-05-10 12:25 PM


thanks alot for the reply and the advice on how to make it look better. i'll have to make to copies to see which one she would rather use.thanks again

It's too bad I'm not as wonderful a person as people say I am, because the world could use a few people like that.

I've learned that even when you

anonymous albert ?
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since 2001-03-23
Posts 2979

3 posted 2001-05-10 03:00 AM


this was  anice and sweet poem..i think you did a really good job on expressing your feelings in here...great tribute to the prom and hope she likes it as i did(dont take it in adifferent way tho ...haha...keep writing... ...?

if i die before i wake , i pray the lord my soul will take-"when thugs cry"

banburycross
Senior Member
since 2001-03-27
Posts 946
viginia
4 posted 2001-05-10 10:30 AM


this is really sweet, i hope you give this poem to however you wrote it for.  you did a great job on this, keep posting all your work.

Sometimes, the things that go unsaid are the only things worth hearing.

Acies
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Member Rara Avis
since 2000-06-07
Posts 7665
Twilight Zone
5 posted 2001-05-12 05:39 PM


You did a good job
Did she like it enough to give to her man?
I believe you should make it long stanza, and that's it  

"So long as men can breathe or eyes can see,
So long lives this, and this give life to thee."  W.S.

LoneWolf
Member
since 2001-03-10
Posts 384
IL
6 posted 2001-05-12 11:14 PM


Yes.she did like it and is going to use it to ask her b/f to prom.

It's too bad I'm not as wonderful a person as people say I am, because the world could use a few people like that.

I've learned that even when you

Dopey Dope
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Member Patricius
since 2000-08-30
Posts 11132
San Juan, Puerto Rico
7 posted 2001-05-16 07:41 PM


You have to ask your gf/bf to prom? I thought it was a gimme......anyway nicely done.

I was born myself, raised myself, and will continue to be myself. The world will just have to adjust.

I'm in love with my shadow
I admire it daily

LoneWolf
Member
since 2001-03-10
Posts 384
IL
8 posted 2001-05-16 09:43 PM


No,dopey. i'm not askin anyone to prom. the only one i would want to go withis my ex-gf. so i am going alone.

It's too bad I'm not as wonderful a person as people say I am, because the world could use a few people like that.

I've learned that even when you

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