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Teen Poetry #4
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sleepymoongirl
Member
since 2001-04-19
Posts 157
bc canada

0 posted 2001-05-09 09:46 PM


(this is an older poem)

As I look at life today
Nothing feels the same
A burden is lifted
Just knowing soon I will
Have someone to listen
Thinking though about this pain
That seems to block my way
I have to pretend it is not there
For I have been here so long
I am stuck I can't move
I feel traped helpless
It's almost like I can't breathe
I still don't know
Where these wounds come from
Or do I but don't want too
I am forever hidding
From my problems
As I hide
It slowly eats away at my soul
Will I ever come out and enjoy life
I will put my wounds away
For today is not the day

as u go in life there will be ur hardships it is up to u if it makes u or breaks u.  

[This message has been edited by sleepymoongirl (edited 05-11-2001).]

© Copyright 2001 Scarlet Saunders - All Rights Reserved
Allan Riverwood
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since 2001-01-04
Posts 3502
Winnipeg
1 posted 2001-05-09 11:58 PM


Uhh... the last line didn't really communicate with me.  I don't think the sentence made sense, was that a typo?
Otherwise, nice job.
~Allan

Build a man a fire, and he's warm for a day.  Set a man on fire, and he'll be warm for the rest of his life.  
~Unknown

sleepymoongirl
Member
since 2001-04-19
Posts 157
bc canada
2 posted 2001-05-10 12:53 PM


what typo?
knightlyshadows
Senior Member
since 2001-04-14
Posts 791
obscured vision
3 posted 2001-05-10 02:32 AM


is it 'today IS not the day' ?

newayz.....great job scarlet. i like this hun. i like seeing some of your older work and your newer stuff.....shows the changes in you and stuff. cant wait for more hun.
love you *Hugs*
tiff


“A single choice can build destinies,or destroy them.”

U in the dark u in the pain u on the run
Living a hell living ur ghost living ur hell

[This message has been edited by knightlyshadows (edited 05-10-2001).]

anonymous albert ?
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since 2001-03-23
Posts 2979

4 posted 2001-05-10 02:51 AM


nice job and i do also think the last line didnt quite get thru my head as a verse anywasy..i thought you did quite well..on this..keep writing... ...?

if i die before i wake , i pray the lord my soul will take-"when thugs cry"

sleepymoongirl
Member
since 2001-04-19
Posts 157
bc canada
5 posted 2001-05-11 12:03 PM


oh my gosh yes it is tifferz
broken wing
Junior Member
since 2001-04-30
Posts 37

6 posted 2001-05-11 12:43 PM


i enjoyed this!
broken

"To me, fair friend, u never can be old,
For as u were when first ur eye I eyed,
Such seems ur beauty still." ~W.S.

Child of the Stars
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since 2000-09-07
Posts 1658
Ann Arbor, MI
7 posted 2001-05-11 03:00 PM


She's got..hiiiigh hopes, she's got...hiiigh hopes, she's got high, apple pie in the skyyyy hopes...
Awesome poem..
"I still don't know
Where these wounds come from
Or do I but don't want too"
That was very..eh..what's the word..ok I'll just say cool for lack of better terminology.  
  ~Carly

"Your joy is your sorrow unmasked.  And the self-same well from which your laughter rises was often-times filled with your tears."   ~Kahil Gibran

Marshalzu
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since 2001-02-15
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Lurking
8 posted 2001-05-11 03:53 PM


Great poem and I loved your last line "today is not the day" great stuff hope to see more  
Zu

" The tree of liberty must be refreshed from time to time with the blood of patriots" -Thomas jefferson

E-mail/Msn: Targetmrzu@hotmail.com

Dopey Dope
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Member Patricius
since 2000-08-30
Posts 11132
San Juan, Puerto Rico
9 posted 2001-05-16 03:39 AM


I liked the poem. Good job on it!

I was born myself, raised myself, and will continue to be myself. The world will just have to adjust.

I'm in love with my shadow
I admire it daily

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