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Passions in Poetry

Thoughts Within My Head

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AngelPoet87
Member
since 04-21-2001
Posts 418
Indy


0 posted 05-09-2001 05:22 PM       View Profile for AngelPoet87   Email AngelPoet87   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to Submit your Poem to Passions  View IP for AngelPoet87

I know its bad but tell me what ya think.

The silence is so deafening
and the darkness all too blinding,
as I sit searching for the answers
but more questions are all I'm finding.

Though easier to just give up
my search for truth must be resumed,
and seperation of what appears
to be lies or the simply assumed.

Morals are lost in the madness
but right and wrong I can't confuse,
the spirit of death holds out his hand
but to give in now I must refuse.

All though I'm all alone in this room
Demons of my mind surround me,
waving their fingers in my face
and giving me the third degree.

Closing my eyes to make it stop
then opening them to mark the start,
of my quest to make the voices stop
and to gain back control of my heart.

~alicia

© Copyright 2001 Alicia Morris - All Rights Reserved
vixengrl04
Senior Member
since 04-26-2001
Posts 513
East Haddam, CT


1 posted 05-09-2001 05:39 PM       View Profile for vixengrl04   Email vixengrl04   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for vixengrl04

Oooooh there was some suspense here which really added to it.  I like.  

~*Nikki*~

~*Of all the millions of people in the world, I'm just me.*~

anonymous albert ?
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since 03-23-2001
Posts 4172


2 posted 05-09-2001 05:47 PM       View Profile for anonymous albert ?   Email anonymous albert ?   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for anonymous albert ?

"of my quest to make the voices stop
and to gain back control of my heart."

i really liked this as i enjoyed the whole poem thruout but those last verses were nice..great job and keep writing...

...?

if i die before i wake , i pray the lord my soul will take-"when thugs cry"

banburycross
Senior Member
since 03-27-2001
Posts 1087
viginia


3 posted 05-09-2001 07:52 PM       View Profile for banburycross   Email banburycross   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for banburycross

i liked the way you ended this piece and i liked the wording throughout, you wrote this beautifully.  you did a wonderful job on this, keep psoting your work.

Sometimes, the things that go unsaid are the only things worth hearing.

Allan Riverwood
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since 01-04-2001
Posts 4212
Winnipeg


4 posted 05-09-2001 09:35 PM       View Profile for Allan Riverwood   Email Allan Riverwood   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Allan Riverwood

I did like the technique you used in this poem, it is very admirable.  I must eternally compliment you on your inate technique.  
The feminine rhyme in the first stanza was very nice... I love those things.  
Keep posting your poetry, I have no critiques on this one.
~Allan

Build a man a fire, and he's warm for a day.  Set a man on fire, and he'll be warm for the rest of his life.  
~Unknown

Godsend_1
Member
since 04-19-2001
Posts 277
great state of illinois


5 posted 05-10-2001 05:04 PM       View Profile for Godsend_1   Email Godsend_1   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Godsend_1

oo oo oo oo *jumps up and down*  i loved this poem ali you rock royal booty anywho i love you ali keep up the amazing work ok *kisses and hugs*

ben

i am what i am and that is all that i am and all that i shall ever be......so deal with it

xShUgArHiGhx
Deputy Moderator 10 ToursDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Elite
since 09-26-2000
Posts 3830
tRyIn tO fIt iN2 mY oWn ShoEs


6 posted 05-10-2001 05:31 PM       View Profile for xShUgArHiGhx   Email xShUgArHiGhx   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit xShUgArHiGhx's Home Page   View IP for xShUgArHiGhx

What do you mean you know this is bad??? It's not bad at all!! I actually thought it was very good  
Acies
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Moderator
Member Laureate
since 06-07-2000
Posts 14805
Twilight Zone


7 posted 05-12-2001 07:49 PM       View Profile for Acies   Email Acies   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Acies

as a poet you seem to be on the right track  
you have your own style which makes you unique
well, i should -- duh to me  
I did enjoy reading your poem a lot
thanks for sharing and keep it up

"So long as men can breathe or eyes can see,
So long lives this, and this give life to thee."  W.S.

Dopey Dope
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since 08-30-2000
Posts 15536
San Juan, Puerto Rico


8 posted 05-16-2001 02:45 PM       View Profile for Dopey Dope   Email Dopey Dope   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Dopey Dope

Very well done here. I fully enjoyed the read!

I was born myself, raised myself, and will continue to be myself. The world will just have to adjust.

I'm in love with my shadow
I admire it daily

Marshalzu
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Member Elite
since 02-15-2001
Posts 4465
Lurking


9 posted 05-16-2001 02:49 PM       View Profile for Marshalzu   Email Marshalzu   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Marshalzu's Home Page   View IP for Marshalzu

Great poem, I really enjoyed the read, well done...   Keep on sharing.
Marshal Zu

" The tree of liberty must be refreshed from time to time with the blood of patriots" -Thomas jefferson

E-mail/Msn: Targetmrzu@hotmail.com

Kicking Kim
Member
since 04-16-2001
Posts 436
Cloud Cucko Land!


10 posted 08-18-2001 11:51 AM       View Profile for Kicking Kim   Email Kicking Kim   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Kicking Kim's Home Page   View IP for Kicking Kim

Not a bad piece but I must just make a small remark on the rhythm as at times it was out of beat with the last verse and I had to read it again to work out the rhyme.  Other than that not bad at all!

^*~Kicking Kim~*^  

"Theres no posession, just obsession and growing depression"

 
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