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Teen Poetry #4
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REPOST from #3 (revised too)
| Teen Poetry #4 |
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REPOST from #3 (revised too) |
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Acies
Moderator
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-06-07
Posts 7665Twilight Zone |
I am nothing close to abomination from within A lamentation's brew heated and boiling into a spill Wretched and confined into reality's discriminations Am I the demon that deserves eternal punishment? Or am I just that of misfortune's best friend "Why must I ask for forgiveness for all my sins," I ask myself? Should I? Knowing that... In end's time compassions hand is easily at reach And I still do. Discounting all the untouched questions, I honestly do And still, I weep alone... I persistently fold myself into a corner hoping no one sees my grief Lucky is the walking dead, I say For he, though alone, is at least unscathed by human's weakness Numb to that of his surroundings... The only envy of life's hurting people Such blatant expressions I know I've said I've kept these confined in my soul all this time. Not knowing how much longer I can stay dormant Not knowing when I shall erupt and unleash such motility I just have to let it out For they are far worse... Far worse than running nails on a chalkboard It has totally driven me close to insanity A knock in the doors of the Omega So, bare with me as I cast loose my Demons All that of your consideration and not of pity As I wage war against Ares A battle in Euterpe a fight I can't win a fight already lost I too wait in time for Eros Hear my voice... head my call I beg as I sit on this old, squeeking wooden chair Hoping one day that the arrow shot from his bow carries my name Hoping that the hunter's eye is not blurred by time, For missing in not an option given Hoping it hits me straight where it matters the most Like that of patriots Hoping the arrow hits me straight in the heart Yes..., Straight in the heart For this, nothing else..., I know is more than destiny And I am here to claim what is rightfully mine ... Here to claim what belongs to me and to noone else Here to once again... "Love Myself" |
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| © Copyright 2001 acire - All Rights Reserved | |||
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lonely*soul Member
since 2001-04-05
Posts 396east haddam (moodus) ct :) |
wow...that is wicked powerful hun!!! awosme job and i must say considering you dont post much..atleast not since i got here...this is my fav by u (ive only read like 4 i think) *KiMMiE* |
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anonymous albert ?
since 2001-03-23
Posts 2979 |
its revised too  ..hehe yea i'm glad you are sharing with us again your beautiful poems...you have shown me how much power in words can come through..every word to me hit me strong and the ending was a pleasant surprise..awesome job on the poem i really enjoyed the read...keep writing,my friend   ...?if i die before i wake , i pray the lord my soul will take-"when thugs cry" |
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JBaker515
since 2001-02-28
Posts 458Dartmouth College |
This was really awesome..i loved it.. you got great talent.. your writing always pleases me!! keep on posting  $ Jeff $ : ) |
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SEA 
Moderator
Member Seraphic
since 2000-01-18
Posts 22676with you |
this is amazing excellent write SEA |
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Allan Riverwood
since 2001-01-04
Posts 3502Winnipeg |
I love the ending statement best of all. You know I don't care much for most free verse though... it's nothing personal against this poem it's just free verse in general. It gave me a limited capacity of enjoyment in reading this. Still probably a good poem, but it's hard for me to tell very well y'know.  Keep on posting for us, man. Let's see something recent! ~Allan Build a man a fire, and he's warm for a day. Set a man on fire, and he'll be warm for the rest of his life. |
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vixengrl04 Member
since 2001-04-26
Posts 495East Haddam, CT |
This was very powerful and written quite well!! But, just so that you know, the font made it kinda difficult to read, so maybe use another one next time. ~*Nikki*~ ~*Of all the millions of people in the world, I'm just me.*~ |
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Acies
Moderator
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-06-07
Posts 7665Twilight Zone |
Thanks guys "So long as men can breathe or eyes can see, |
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banburycross Senior Member
since 2001-03-27
Posts 946viginia |
i love this poem, your words are beautiful and each line really hits the the reader with it's power. i wasn't around for teen #3 so i'm really glad you decided to repost this. incredible writing acire, keep sharing your poetry with us Sometimes, the things that go unsaid are the only things worth hearing. |
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anonymousfemale Member Elite
since 2000-02-02
Posts 2797Limbo |
Acire, a totally big wow goes out to you buddy. For that piece, you deserve a jellybean.  I loved the way you wove the Gods into it. You are one talented little muffin, boy-o. You should be extremely proud of this amazing creation. My hat goes off to you. ~AF~ Stupidity killed the cat. Curiosity was framed. |
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Marshalzu
since 2001-02-15
Posts 2681Lurking |
Acire this is the first of your work that I have read and Wow it's excellent. Hope to see some recent stuff Mr Zu |
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Dopey Dope
Moderator
Member Patricius
since 2000-08-30
Posts 11132San Juan, Puerto Rico |
You did well on this one acire, but you never cease to amaze me with just how much you like to piss me off with that cursive writing haha....Always takes me a decade to read each line!  I was born myself, raised myself, and will continue to be myself. The world will just have to adjust. |
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xShUgArHiGhx
since 2000-09-26
Posts 3150tRyIn tO fIt iN2 mY oWn ShoEs |
Danggggg....You go Hun!!!! LoL This was such powerful words...Excellent.....AMAZING!!!! |
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Suga_Baby Member
since 2000-08-06
Posts 380Maine, USA |
*claps loudly as she jumps up and down screaming* *LOL* This was AWESOME!!!!  ,Sara "A dream is a wish your heart makes while you are fast asleep." |
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obscurity of cloud Member
since 2001-05-11
Posts 294....:::::******:::::.... |
This is amazing, but i don't think i can say that any more than everyone else in here. Incredible; i am blown away. "so when at times the mob is swayed to carry praise or blame too far, we may choose something like a star" --Frost |
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Fading Away
since 2001-03-14
Posts 3131Lynchburg, Virginia |
This is an impressive display of your talent, acire. My favorite lines: "Discounting all the untouched questions, I honestly do And still, I weep alone..." VERY powerful... I loved this. Thanks for reposting it! Most impressive. Another one for my library. Excellent work. --Marie "You're the girl of my nightmares, |
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Acies
Moderator
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-06-07
Posts 7665Twilight Zone |
thanks hi Sweets, Kris, Lizzy, Ina, Erin, Erica, Minna, Kit, Kamie, Javi, Jenn, Sharon, Nan, Cawlee, Cherish, Ashley, Sara, Justine, Leah, Jess, Kimmie, Mare |
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cherish Senior Member
since 2001-03-25
Posts 1639swimming in fairy floss........... |
*is blown away by the words of a toona* wow...this is awesome..it left me quite breathless for sumtime....did you know that your words could have that effect?..you could have killed me y'know.. but on the serious side of things i have to say that im impressed with it-truly! you write so eloquently its kind of hard to imagine that it came from "the toona" I've kept these confined in my soul all this time. Not knowing how much longer I can stay dormant Not knowing when I shall erupt and unleash such motility i think those are the lines i could most relate to-repressing feelings only causes more and more frustrations..*shakes head sadly* but i have to be honest with you- i found it really hard to follow at first- i dont know maybe your sentences are too complex for a simple-minded person such as i and the flow of the poem was a bit higgeldy piggeldy but apart from that its wonderful!!!! thank you for the brilliant read toona...you've managed to score another "agpfagp" abbreviation from me...  |
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punkrockerrobin
since 2001-05-15
Posts 1180Sparks, NV |
ok all robin can say is wowzers! and how do you make the font bold? robin  I AM WHAT I AM SO DEAL! |
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angel_2401 Member
since 2001-06-12
Posts 131Cincinnati, OH |
Acire, this is really good, I like it a lot. I hope to see more of your work. I don't have an attitude problem You have a perception problem. |
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keoni Senior Member
since 2000-10-16
Posts 850Up in the mountains in the NFC |
Acire, I never saw this one in Teen #3, but I missed out, this was amazing. One of the best I have read in the time that I have been with this group. The cursive is horrible to read though.It's in my library. Jon "Your anger is a gift"-Rage Against The Machine |
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Skyfire
since 2000-12-27
Posts 3381Riding |
.................... Oh... my... gosh! That was so... so... wow. I'm totally speechless. I love that, man. How did I miss that in #3? Wow. That is so powerful. I have nothing else to say... you made me speechless... congrats! Wow. Into library... Rhonda  "Who did that?" "Charlie and Blake." "Who's Charlie and Blake?" "Rhonda and Amy.""Great. There goes the school." |
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Raven Skye Member
since 2001-03-03
Posts 112.In a House. |
Straight in the heart 'For this, nothing else..., I know is more than destiny And I am here to claim what is rightfully mine ... Here to claim what belongs to me and to noone else Here to once again... "Love Myself"' Ahh!!! Great work!!  I'm getting all excited and everything. Hehe I feel like a dork. But this was so awesome!!*×´¨`·.×*Raven Skye*×´¨`·.×* |
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DancinQueen
since 2000-07-29
Posts 1092Kokomo,IN,USA |
im not sure i read this when it was posted in 3? I dont remember it, but it was awesome. Especially the last line. Take care and keep in touch* *dq **You can't always trust the people you want to** |
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obscurity of cloud Member
since 2001-05-11
Posts 294....:::::******:::::.... |
this is INCREDIBLE. I love this: "As I wage war against Ares A battle in Euterpe" because of the strength in the allusions. Great work, really great! "so when at times the mob is swayed to carry praise or blame too far, we may choose something like a star" --Frost |
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Cinch01 Junior Member
since 2001-06-19
Posts 14RS, BR |
Great poem! I love it! Hope to see more of your poems around. "Love like yuo never been hurt, live like today was the last day and dance like no one is watching." |
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Acies
Moderator
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-06-07
Posts 7665Twilight Zone |
thanks guys  hi Sweets, Kris, Lizzy, Ina, Erin, Erica, Minna, Kit, Kamie, Javi, Jenn, Sharon, Nan, Cawlee, Cherish, Ashley, Sara, Justine, Leah, Jess, Kimmie, Mare |
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cherish Senior Member
since 2001-03-25
Posts 1639swimming in fairy floss........... |
'tis alrighty-o toona.. ........*bumpitty bump* |
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