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Teen Poetry #4
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Hallucination
Member
since 2001-03-18
Posts 419


0 posted 2001-05-08 02:23 PM


I can’t understand how I can stand being away from you
Beneath the surface of my heart there’s something I can’t explain
I think of you daily and try to call but I can’t get through
Underneath my emotions everything about you makes me go insane

Baby please take me away
There’s no place I’d rather stay
Hold you in my arms, close to my heart
Honey I really need you
You speak the words so true
There’s something special, between our hearts
Baby please take me away

Now I realize the purpose of my life where I stand and why I am who I am
Hallucinations visions dreams about you can’t tell which is real
You can’t go back there’s nowhere left to run you have to understand
You make me whole you’re the reason my wounds will heal

Baby please take me away
There’s no place I’d rather stay
Hold you in my arms, close to my heart
Honey I really need you
You speak the words so true
There’s something special, between our hearts
Baby please take me away

Standing in the middle of nowhere
Torn between my heart and your love
But I’ll always be there
Behind you ready to give everything up
Just to walk your way

Baby please take me away
There’s no place I’d rather stay
Hold you in my arms, close to my heart
Honey I really need you
You speak the words so true
There’s something special, between our hearts
Baby please take me away


© Copyright 2001 Brian Eggertsen - All Rights Reserved
vixengrl04
Member
since 2001-04-26
Posts 495
East Haddam, CT
1 posted 2001-05-08 04:52 PM


Is this a song?  It sounds like one and, if not, I think it would make an excellent one.  This flows really nicely and I like it. Good job.  

~*Nikki*~

~*Of all the millions of people in the world, I'm just me.*~

SEA
Deputy Moderator 10 ToursDeputy Moderator 5 Tours
Moderator
Member Seraphic
since 2000-01-18
Posts 22676
with you
2 posted 2001-05-08 04:56 PM


I was thinking the same thing.....it's like a song....very well done!    SEA
lonely*soul
Member
since 2001-04-05
Posts 396
east haddam (moodus) ct :)
3 posted 2001-05-08 06:39 PM


im with nik and sea..it does sound like a song...the chorus and such...and a very well written one at that!
        *KiMMiE*

Dopey Dope
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Moderator
Member Patricius
since 2000-08-30
Posts 11132
San Juan, Puerto Rico
4 posted 2001-05-15 01:34 AM


Yea it did sound like a song. I liked it!

I was born myself, raised myself, and will continue to be myself. The world will just have to adjust.

I'm in love with my shadow
I admire it daily

anonymous albert ?
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Elite
since 2001-03-23
Posts 2979

5 posted 2001-05-15 01:48 AM


yep...same here i'm thinking it might be a song...anyways tho...it obviously flowed well..as i enjoyed the read...keep writing... ...?

if i die before i wake , i pray the lord my soul will take-"when thugs cry"

Acies
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Moderator
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-06-07
Posts 7665
Twilight Zone
6 posted 2001-05-24 10:22 AM


i guess everyone thought the same thing....It did read like a song....Good one here.  Keep sharing

"So long as men can breathe or eyes can see,
So long lives this, and this give life to thee."  W.S.

xShUgArHiGhx
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Member Elite
since 2000-09-26
Posts 3150
tRyIn tO fIt iN2 mY oWn ShoEs
7 posted 2001-05-24 02:33 PM


This definately sounded like a song <---that was the first thing that popped into my head and then i read some of the replies and i see other people thought that too hehehe...maybe you should make it into one!  
DarkSilver
Junior Member
since 2001-05-21
Posts 33
Six O'clock High!
8 posted 2001-05-24 02:35 PM


Yeah definately a song. It deserves music. Maybe soft rock ballad or pop.

It doesn't matter who you are only who you serve. - Draken O'Larn, the Starwarrior Saga

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