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Teen Poetry #4
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artemis_selene
Junior Member
since 2001-05-07
Posts 14
virginia

0 posted 2001-05-07 06:08 PM


hi everyone! this is my first post, so please be kind....


Tangled up in this pretty pink dress
Covered in ribbons and lace bows
My hair matted and dirty from the stress
My face scratched from the blows

I sit and stare at my cracked reflection
Look into its vast emptiness
Trying to find a sense of direction
Trying to find the cause of my unhappiness

It is as if all that I am is my visage
It is all that I am allowed to be
I am trapped in this mass produced image
That is all that you can ever see

Bright red lipstick, eyelashes in a curl
The plastic shell from which I have tried to hide
I am weary of trying to escape the girl
The girl that is on the outside.

© Copyright 2001 artemis_selene - All Rights Reserved
lonely*soul
Member
since 2001-04-05
Posts 396
east haddam (moodus) ct :)
1 posted 2001-05-07 06:17 PM


inner beauty matters too..awsome first post and        


                   
       welcome to passions
                   

          *KiMMiE*

Suga_Baby
Member
since 2000-08-06
Posts 380
Maine, USA
2 posted 2001-05-07 07:57 PM


WELCOME TO PASSIONS!!

This is a wonderful first post! Hope you stick around  

-Sara-

"A dream is a wish your heart makes while you are fast asleep."

SEA
Deputy Moderator 10 ToursDeputy Moderator 5 Tours
Moderator
Member Seraphic
since 2000-01-18
Posts 22676
with you
3 posted 2001-05-07 08:52 PM


Welcome! I hope you enjoy your stay here   Please check your e-mail for a special greeting!    SEA
AngelPoet87
Member
since 2001-04-21
Posts 280
Indy
4 posted 2001-05-07 09:01 PM


Welcome to Passions, I hope you like it here. Really good poem, I hope to see more of your work soon. Keep writing!
~ali

2Good
+2Be
------
4Gotten

Hacas
Junior Member
since 2001-05-05
Posts 25

5 posted 2001-05-07 09:03 PM


WELCOME TO PASSIONS!

Have fun!

"Fight for what you believe in"
"Stay yourself no matter what people say"

Child of the Stars
Deputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Senior Member
since 2000-09-07
Posts 1658
Ann Arbor, MI
6 posted 2001-05-07 09:52 PM


Welcome to Passions!! Whoa very good first post...I can relate tons...You'll learn a lot bout poetry and expression here, I hope you enjoy that kinda stuff!   Have tons of fun and smile!
  ~Carly

"Your joy is your sorrow unmasked.  And the self-same well from which your laughter rises was often-times filled with your tears."   ~Kahil Gibran

DragonFang
Senior Member
since 2000-03-09
Posts 522
Missouri, USA
7 posted 2001-05-07 10:05 PM


Welcome to Passions. Hmmm... think everyones said everything else that needs to be said   Hope you enjoy your stay.

"Sa souvraya niende missian ye." \
I am lost in my own mind.


Low Man's Lyric
Member
since 2001-04-03
Posts 236
In a dream
8 posted 2001-05-07 10:09 PM


Good first poem, I really enjoyed it and I hope to see more from you.

Give her two red roses, each with a note. The first note says "For the woman I love" and the second, "For my best friend."  
~Anonymous

Allan Riverwood
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Member Elite
since 2001-01-04
Posts 3502
Winnipeg
9 posted 2001-05-07 11:38 PM


Great work!  You've caught my eye with your first post, anybody in here will tell you that my approval is not easily won, especially on someone's first post.  But you've done it.     So feel special, okay?  
I love what you describe here, breaking apart from the physical ties that bind us.  It's not easy, but give it time.  
As for the poem, I'd have to say the flow would be improved with a hint more meter to it.  Don't know what meter is?  Email me, I'll give you a quick overview.  
Welcome to Passions in Poetry.  I certainly can't wait to see more of you in here reading, replying and sharing with the rest of us!
~Allan

Build a man a fire, and he's warm for a day.  Set a man on fire, and he'll be warm for the rest of his life.  
~Unknown

vixengrl04
Member
since 2001-04-26
Posts 495
East Haddam, CT
10 posted 2001-05-08 12:26 PM


This is sooooo sad!! Amazing imagery, you have done a great job. Welcome to Passions!  And if the rest of your posts are like this one, you'll definitely fit in fine.

~*Nikki*~

~*Of all the millions of people in the world, I'm just me.*~

banburycross
Senior Member
since 2001-03-27
Posts 946
viginia
11 posted 2001-05-08 01:36 PM


Welcome to Passions!!

i love the rhyme schee of this and i love the images you portray with this piece, this is an amazing fist post.  and you even won allan's approval with it (he says that like it's something we want)    kidding allan, of course    anyway, this is wonderful writing, i look forward to seeing lots more from you in the future.

Sometimes, the things that go unsaid are the only things worth hearing.

Ina
Senior Member
since 2000-10-09
Posts 1236
Quebec, Canada
12 posted 2001-05-08 01:39 PM


This is really good....actually awesome.... beauty is everything about you and so on.

welcome to passions!!! you'll learn alot as carly already said.

Regina

"Take a look at my face, there's no price I won't pay
To say these words to you"bon jovi

Linc
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Senior Member
since 2001-03-07
Posts 552
The Backstreet Boy
13 posted 2001-05-08 01:39 PM


WELCOME

Hey,

    I loved the poem it's a great start   keep them coming

       -- Linc

"Once you reach your original goal it seems that the journey was your real accomplishment."

Marshalzu
Deputy Moderator 10 ToursDeputy Moderator 10 ToursDeputy Moderator 5 ToursDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Elite
since 2001-02-15
Posts 2681
Lurking
14 posted 2001-05-08 02:21 PM


Welcome to Passions  
Well done with the first post it's great and I hope to see more of them.
Mr Zu

" The tree of liberty must be refreshed from time to time with the blood of patriots" -Thomas jefferson

E-mail/Msn: Targetmrzu@hotmail.com

artemis_selene
Junior Member
since 2001-05-07
Posts 14
virginia
15 posted 2001-05-08 05:20 PM


thanks everyone! i really appreciate your feedback.
Acies
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Moderator
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-06-07
Posts 7665
Twilight Zone
16 posted 2001-05-10 06:42 PM


WELCOME TO PASSIONS!!!

As already said, it's the inside that counts  
hope you enjoy PIP as much as we do
thanks for sharing

"So long as men can breathe or eyes can see,
So long lives this, and this give life to thee."  W.S.

stace_co2003
Member
since 2001-03-30
Posts 497
In a dream world
17 posted 2001-05-10 06:48 PM


hey!! great poem!! I'm pretty new here too...actually, I just posted my first as well, but I must say, you did a better job than I did, lol. I hope you stay and I hope to hear from you again.
Stace

Lakewalker
Member Elite
since 2000-08-05
Posts 3289
On the streets w/ people
18 posted 2001-05-10 08:24 PM


Welcome to Passions  
Great job on this first post, I hope you enjoy your time here

"Be kind for everyone you meet is fighting a harder battle" Plato.

cherish
Senior Member
since 2001-03-25
Posts 1639
swimming in fairy floss...........
19 posted 2001-05-10 08:30 PM


WELCOME!!!


this was a great first post artemis_selene!!
MORE i say!!
MORE!!

"Life is not long and boring,
it's short and compelling." -Javier Agosto-

Dopey Dope
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Moderator
Member Patricius
since 2000-08-30
Posts 11132
San Juan, Puerto Rico
20 posted 2001-05-15 03:18 PM


Well done on the poem and Welcome to Passions!
I completely enjoyed this poem and look forward to reading more!

I was born myself, raised myself, and will continue to be myself. The world will just have to adjust.

I'm in love with my shadow
I admire it daily

Elusive^
Junior Member
since 2001-05-13
Posts 18
dancing fairy land
21 posted 2001-05-15 03:37 PM


this poem really is amazing..
you've put it beautifully..wish lots more people acted upon it though..

Welcome to Passions..*curtseys*  

''I'll TAKE a QUIET life..a HANDSHAKE of CARBON monoxide with NO alarms AND no SURPRISES..''
'LaniDarkone'..underwent a change of name.

anonymous albert ?
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Elite
since 2001-03-23
Posts 2979

22 posted 2001-05-15 05:20 PM


wow!...the imagery was great in this poem...and sorry iw as late...welcome and hope you liked the stay so far and i hope to see more...also thansk for the great read... ...?

if i die before i wake , i pray the lord my soul will take-"when thugs cry"

keoni
Senior Member
since 2000-10-16
Posts 850
Up in the mountains in the NFC
23 posted 2001-05-15 06:52 PM


Excellent first post. Glad to see you here at passions. This is a great first post. Can't wait till the next...
Jon

"Your anger is a gift"-Rage Against The Machine
"Only God can judge me" Tupac Shakur

obscurity of cloud
Member
since 2001-05-11
Posts 294
....:::::******:::::....
24 posted 2001-05-15 08:39 PM


Very well done!  I hope to see much more!

"so when at times the mob is swayed to carry praise or blame too far, we may choose something like a star" --Frost

xShUgArHiGhx
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Member Elite
since 2000-09-26
Posts 3150
tRyIn tO fIt iN2 mY oWn ShoEs
25 posted 2001-05-16 08:33 PM


WeLcOmE tO pAsSiOnS  

This was an amazing first post and related so much to me and my life..I love poems like that!! An-E-way keep those poems comin!!! I cant wait to see more from u  

knightlyshadows
Senior Member
since 2001-04-14
Posts 791
obscured vision
26 posted 2001-05-16 11:03 PM


whoa! first time ive seen somebody get 2 pages for their first post. feel special for it great job on the poem! thought it was great!!!!
WELCOME TO PASSIONS
tiff

“A single choice can build destinies,or destroy them.”

"You say i only hear what i want too..."

Godsend_1
Member
since 2001-04-19
Posts 247
great state of illinois
27 posted 2001-05-16 11:25 PM


WELCOME
i loved this poem while i am not a girl all my best friends are and i kinda know ut ya mean through them  great poem hun

ben

i am what i am and that is all that i am and all that i shall ever be..so deal with it
to make the world the greatest place is the perfect dream in

Fading Away
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Member Elite
since 2001-03-14
Posts 3131
Lynchburg, Virginia
28 posted 2001-06-16 01:21 PM


I know I'm a little late on this one   But Welcome to Passions.  This poem is awesome.  Very impressive first post, I must say.  The rhyme scheme is excellent.  And the content of the poem was amazing.  Very powerful.  Nice work.  I enjoyed this read, and I can't wait to read more.

--Marie

"You're the girl of my nightmares.
You're an Anorexic Beauty, feather-weight perfection.  Anorexic Beauty, underweight goddess." -- Pulp

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