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Teen Poetry #4
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lonely*soul
Member
since 2001-04-05
Posts 396
east haddam (moodus) ct :)

0 posted 2001-05-07 03:58 PM


the flowers blooming
the trees are green
the water calm and clear
the sky is blue
and birds wistling
and flying high in the air

the air is crisp
the scent is sweet
the sound of the birds sweet song
the grass is soft
the wind tranquil
the day grows even more long

the sun still high
in the huge blue sky
and still bright as the sun can be
nothing in this peacful world
can ruin this mood for me

i dunno..i walked home today..and everything was just so perfect   (hehe i even saw lil duckies)  and even tho i had a wicked crappy day i went outside for 15 mins and it brightened me up  

            *KiMMiE*

© Copyright 2001 kimberly - All Rights Reserved
banburycross
Senior Member
since 2001-03-27
Posts 946
viginia
1 posted 2001-05-07 05:02 PM


I'm certainly glad that your day got better.  i like this poem for it's basic but clear descriptions.  you painted a lovely image with your words.  keep posting all your work.

Sometimes, the things that go unsaid are the only things worth hearing.

lonely*soul
Member
since 2001-04-05
Posts 396
east haddam (moodus) ct :)
2 posted 2001-05-07 07:25 PM


i guess no one likes this one...lol..no one replied     oh wellz..ill live  
        *KiMMiE*

Acies
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Member Rara Avis
since 2000-06-07
Posts 7665
Twilight Zone
3 posted 2001-05-07 07:40 PM


This would really make my day too.  Enjoyed the scene you've described in your poem as though it was really infront of me.  thanks for sharing this Kimmie

"So long as men can breathe or eyes can see,
So long lives this, and this give life to thee."  W.S.

Child of the Stars
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Senior Member
since 2000-09-07
Posts 1658
Ann Arbor, MI
4 posted 2001-05-07 09:58 PM


*gives a long, drawn-out sigh of contentment.....*

  ~Carly

"Your joy is your sorrow unmasked.  And the self-same well from which your laughter rises was often-times filled with your tears."   ~Kahil Gibran

anonymous albert ?
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since 2001-03-23
Posts 2979

5 posted 2001-05-07 10:37 PM


very positive tone i liked the picture in this poem...beautiful wordings throgh your emotions..i really enjoyed...great poem...keep writing

...?

if i die before i wake , i pray the lord my soul will take-"when thugs cry"

[This message has been edited by anonymous albert ? (edited 05-07-2001).]

Allan Riverwood
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since 2001-01-04
Posts 3502
Winnipeg
6 posted 2001-05-07 11:33 PM


Good tone, nice imagery..... but you and I have to have that meter talk that I have with everyone.  
Ok?  It's for your own good.  All a part of your breaking in process....  
~Allan

Build a man a fire, and he's warm for a day.  Set a man on fire, and he'll be warm for the rest of his life.  
~Unknown

banburycross
Senior Member
since 2001-03-27
Posts 946
viginia
7 posted 2001-05-08 12:45 PM


*sigh*  allan, your paddling people again, what have i told you about that...    i'm responding to this one again because apparently i got counted as nobody the first time.  *cries*  actually i just needed a nice image on a long day, i still like this piece a lot  

Sometimes, the things that go unsaid are the only things worth hearing.

Pixie-Babe03
Member
since 2000-08-29
Posts 387
Central Maine
8 posted 2001-05-08 02:26 PM


this is puuurday!! i can just picture a walk on a nice day when i read this!  great work!
*Justine*

-=Love starts with a SMILE, grows with a KISS, and ends with a TEAR=-

dramaqueen22086
Member
since 2001-05-05
Posts 50
Hadlyme, CT
9 posted 2001-05-08 03:47 PM


hey kimmie i thought i was really good, good job sweetie, keep wriiten good things...
luv ya ~!kellie!~

SEA
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Member Seraphic
since 2000-01-18
Posts 22676
with you
10 posted 2001-05-08 08:04 PM


sounds wonderful, I love getting outside and going for a walk....the fresh air always makes me feel better.... I liked this     ( there....more words   )LOL ~SEA
vixengrl04
Member
since 2001-04-26
Posts 495
East Haddam, CT
11 posted 2001-05-09 10:01 AM


Kimmie hunnie, it's good to read a happy poem by you.  This was definitely happy, reminded me of an easter day with happy bunnies hopping around..*hop* *hop* *hop* Hehehehe.  

~*Nikki*~

~*Of all the millions of people in the world, I'm just me.*~

ScarletPoetess
Junior Member
since 2001-05-09
Posts 18

12 posted 2001-05-09 10:54 AM


This poem needs meter!!  I agree with Allan that you should go back and put it in.  It would help the flow so much.
I liked the images in the piece.  I'm glad your day got better    Thanks for sharing.

Scarlet

I hurt myself today, to see if I still feel. I focus on the pain, the only thing that's real.

xShUgArHiGhx
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Member Elite
since 2000-09-26
Posts 3150
tRyIn tO fIt iN2 mY oWn ShoEs
13 posted 2001-05-10 10:17 PM


What a beautiful image  
Dopey Dope
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Member Patricius
since 2000-08-30
Posts 11132
San Juan, Puerto Rico
14 posted 2001-05-15 03:21 PM


Very positive poem here. I love these kind. Makes me happy *is happy*....see?!?!
Great job!

I was born myself, raised myself, and will continue to be myself. The world will just have to adjust.

I'm in love with my shadow
I admire it daily

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