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Teen Poetry #4
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knightlyshadows
Senior Member
since 2001-04-14
Posts 791
obscured vision

0 posted 2001-05-07 02:13 PM


this road is straight and narrow
with hardly any curves
i take it every day
it never seems to change

today i missed the turn
that took me to this road
i veered off the straight and narrow
and ran into some curves

i lost my way on this road
i didnt know what to expect
i almost lost control
but i finally got it back

i found i like this road
i found i like the curves
i found that straight and narrow
wasnt all the best

now i take this different road
and others everyday
the ones with turns and curves
that always seem to change



“A single choice can build destinies,or destroy them.”

U in the dark u in the pain u on the run
Living a hell living ur ghost living ur hell


[This message has been edited by knightlyshadows (edited 05-08-2001).]

© Copyright 2001 Tiffany Durham - All Rights Reserved
lonely*soul
Member
since 2001-04-05
Posts 396
east haddam (moodus) ct :)
1 posted 2001-05-07 02:53 PM


go tiff!!  awsome meaning to it al, very good.  i liked it alot  
            *KiM*

Godsend_1
Member
since 2001-04-19
Posts 247
great state of illinois
2 posted 2001-05-07 04:08 PM


i saw the greatest curves i ever saw the other day..........wait a minute i think i am thinking about the wrong kinda curves *shushes and runs away super fast* anywho good poem hun

i am what i am and that is all that i am and all that i shall ever be......so deal with it

JBaker515
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Member
since 2001-02-28
Posts 458
Dartmouth College
3 posted 2001-05-07 04:09 PM


ANOTHER WINNER!!
LOVED IT!!

$ Jeff $   :  )

"If I'm not back in 5 minutes......just wait longer!"

"You may take our lives, but you'll never take our FREEDOM!

Allan Riverwood
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Member Elite
since 2001-01-04
Posts 3502
Winnipeg
4 posted 2001-05-07 10:40 PM


LOL@Ben.  You better be talkin' bout her photo, man.  

Tiff, nice job on the poem, but I think the repitition was a bit disorganized.  You kinda spread it out all over the place, when you could have made a neat little repetition scheme.  
Just my personal opinion.  
~Allan

Build a man a fire, and he's warm for a day.  Set a man on fire, and he'll be warm for the rest of his life.  
~Unknown

banburycross
Senior Member
since 2001-03-27
Posts 946
viginia
5 posted 2001-05-08 10:21 AM


the image of a road is often used to create metaphors, and i thought you did a good job with the way you potrayed this.  i like this piece, you did an excellent job on this.  keep posting all your work.

Sometimes, the things that go unsaid are the only things worth hearing.

vixengrl04
Member
since 2001-04-26
Posts 495
East Haddam, CT
6 posted 2001-05-08 11:59 AM


Kinda reminded me of "the road less traveled".  Not sure if this poem is metaphorical or if it's acutually about a road, but either way, you wrote it well.  Good work.  

~*Nikki*~

~*Of all the millions of people in the world, I'm just me.*~

Dopey Dope
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Moderator
Member Patricius
since 2000-08-30
Posts 11132
San Juan, Puerto Rico
7 posted 2001-05-15 01:50 AM


I like curves too  
Well done on the poem.

I was born myself, raised myself, and will continue to be myself. The world will just have to adjust.

I'm in love with my shadow
I admire it daily

anonymous albert ?
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Member Elite
since 2001-03-23
Posts 2979

8 posted 2001-05-15 01:54 AM


i really enjoyed the meaning behind this poem...gave me something to think about...that maybe i should switch roads...tahnks for the read tiff...and keep writing... ...?

if i die before i wake , i pray the lord my soul will take-"when thugs cry"

Acies
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Moderator
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-06-07
Posts 7665
Twilight Zone
9 posted 2001-05-24 10:23 AM


Glad you found something you like
good write Tiff
keep em coming

"So long as men can breathe or eyes can see,
So long lives this, and this give life to thee."  W.S.

the_rescue
Member
since 2001-05-23
Posts 316
Japan
10 posted 2001-05-24 10:36 AM


pretty spiffy stuff there tiff Oh wait your not who I thougth you were JK good poem, and whats wrong with the straight and narrow lol, and what about these other curves?
kaile
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Member Ascendant
since 2000-02-06
Posts 5146
singapore
11 posted 2001-05-24 12:24 PM


this reminded me of the Road Less Travelled by robert frost...

i loved the concept but in MHO of course, i think this can be even better with a little tightening...

nevertheless, i enjoyed the read and i feel an urge to write one about roads myself...

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