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Passions in Poetry

dreams of red(my poem about scarlet, a great friend of mine)

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Godsend_1
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since 04-19-2001
Posts 277
great state of illinois


0 posted 05-07-2001 09:37 AM       View Profile for Godsend_1   Email Godsend_1   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to Submit your Poem to Passions  View IP for Godsend_1

i see the hurt of one i love.
i reach out and touch, to make all better.
i feel the pain of one i love.
i wish your world was better.

dreams of misty red i see,
when people try to hurt you.
thoughts of brutal protection,
when people try and make you sad.

cant wait till the day,
when i can give you a hug.
make you realize,
that you are loved.

i wish to hold you,
girl of crimson
to make life grand
for one i love.

then never again will people harm you.
never again will people mock.
never again will people kill your thoughts.
never again will you be alone, if i was there.

oh, girl of red
how i wish i was there.
to make you see,
how much i truely care

my girl of red.
my girl of crimson.
my friend for life.
my life holder.

i see her standing,
in a corner
trying to break free.
wishing i was there.

my girl of red.
you should know
that its you...
my scarlet, dream

i am what i am and that is all that i am and all that i shall ever be......so deal with it

© Copyright 2001 Ben Redshaw - All Rights Reserved
Allan Riverwood
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since 01-04-2001
Posts 4212
Winnipeg


1 posted 05-07-2001 12:22 PM       View Profile for Allan Riverwood   Email Allan Riverwood   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Allan Riverwood

This is very sweet!  I really enjoyed it a lot, the "girl of crimson" thing was very clever and poetic.  
Nice work!  She'll melt!  
~Allan

Build a man a fire, and he's warm for a day.Set a man on fire, and he'll be warm for the rest of his life.
~Unknown

vixengrl04
Senior Member
since 04-26-2001
Posts 513
East Haddam, CT


2 posted 05-07-2001 12:25 PM       View Profile for vixengrl04   Email vixengrl04   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for vixengrl04

This is really sweet and cute.  I hope that you get the chance to show her how much you care.  Good work.  

~*Nikki*~

~*Of all the millions of people in the world, I'm just me.*~

banburycross
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since 03-27-2001
Posts 1087
viginia


3 posted 05-07-2001 01:12 PM       View Profile for banburycross   Email banburycross   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for banburycross

you used a lot of different techniques throughout this piece, i really like this a lot.  this was really sweet and it's beautifully written.  keep posting all your work.

Sometimes, the things that go unsaid are the only things worth hearing.

AngelPoet87
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since 04-21-2001
Posts 418
Indy


4 posted 05-07-2001 04:30 PM       View Profile for AngelPoet87   Email AngelPoet87   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for AngelPoet87

Aww Ben thats so sweet! You are a great friend and that is a great poem. Good job hun, take care.
fearing-laughter
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since 04-24-2001
Posts 647
land of cheese (Wisconsin)


5 posted 05-07-2001 04:38 PM       View Profile for fearing-laughter   Email fearing-laughter   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for fearing-laughter

hey, this poem was pretty kool.  in social studies we're watching Gone With The Wind, and crimson made me think of Scarlett for some reason...pry cuz they're both red.  well wasn't that a nice little toppic change? Anyway...i seriously liked the poem, and whoever the girl is she's pretty lucky!
-fear-
knightlyshadows
Senior Member
since 04-14-2001
Posts 950
obscured vision


6 posted 05-07-2001 11:29 PM       View Profile for knightlyshadows   Email knightlyshadows   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for knightlyshadows

awwwww ben i hope shes cs this...this is just great! *hugs* i love you
tiff

A single choice can build destinies,or destroy them.

U in the dark u in the pain u on the run
Living a hell living ur ghost living ur hell

sleepymoongirl
Member
since 04-19-2001
Posts 166
bc canada


7 posted 05-07-2001 11:35 PM       View Profile for sleepymoongirl   Email sleepymoongirl   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for sleepymoongirl

heyz ben i loves u too. and likes i am lucky to have u as a friend as that other chick said.  thank u   *hugz* from me Scarlet
anonymous albert ?
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since 03-23-2001
Posts 4172


8 posted 05-08-2001 02:42 AM       View Profile for anonymous albert ?   Email anonymous albert ?   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for anonymous albert ?

sweet poem
i liked the way you have written this ...keep writing...

:exorist:...?

if i die before i wake , i pray the lord my soul will take-"when thugs cry"

5_sweet_kisses
Member
since 04-20-2001
Posts 52


9 posted 05-08-2001 01:45 PM       View Profile for 5_sweet_kisses   Email 5_sweet_kisses   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for 5_sweet_kisses

aww ben.. that was great!! i hope scarlet see's this .. she will love it..I LOVE YOU BEN!! *hugs* bye bye now
knightlyshadows
Senior Member
since 04-14-2001
Posts 950
obscured vision


10 posted 05-08-2001 01:52 PM       View Profile for knightlyshadows   Email knightlyshadows   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for knightlyshadows

*whispers* hey edith   scarlet bes sleepAy ups theres*points* lols *hugs* loves yalls *licks alls of yas* lols
tiff

A single choice can build destinies,or destroy them.

U in the dark u in the pain u on the run
Living a hell living ur ghost living ur hell

Dopey Dope
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since 08-30-2000
Posts 15536
San Juan, Puerto Rico


11 posted 05-15-2001 01:47 AM       View Profile for Dopey Dope   Email Dopey Dope   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Dopey Dope

Well done....very sweet.

I was born myself, raised myself, and will continue to be myself. The world will just have to adjust.

I'm in love with my shadow
I admire it daily

punkrockerrobin
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since 05-15-2001
Posts 2253
Sparks, NV


12 posted 05-16-2001 04:19 AM       View Profile for punkrockerrobin   Email punkrockerrobin   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit punkrockerrobin's Home Page   View IP for punkrockerrobin

Ben you are so much better at writting than me!    
~*brittt*~
Member
since 05-09-2001
Posts 82
East Haddam, CT


13 posted 05-16-2001 01:36 PM       View Profile for ~*brittt*~   Email ~*brittt*~   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for ~*brittt*~

I really liked this. peice. It was very well written. I hope whoever this girl is, she knows how much you care about her. This poem was so sweet.
~britt~

If you live to be 100 years old, I want to live to be 101 so I never have to live a day without you.

Acies
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since 06-07-2000
Posts 14805
Twilight Zone


14 posted 05-22-2001 03:54 PM       View Profile for Acies   Email Acies   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Acies

it worked   good for you

"So long as men can breathe or eyes can see,
So long lives this, and this give life to thee."W.S.

never_a_princess
Member
since 06-09-2001
Posts 100
Show Me the Money


15 posted 06-13-2001 10:01 PM       View Profile for never_a_princess   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for never_a_princess

:O *likes it* very flowing..i like how it changed form "girl of crimson...girl of red" to "my girl of crimson...my girl of red"..nice one, bennerz!  
~Anna *waves*
takemeawaytoday
Junior Member
since 04-30-2001
Posts 14
Missouri


16 posted 02-18-2002 05:20 PM       View Profile for takemeawaytoday   Email takemeawaytoday   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for takemeawaytoday

i really loved the poem it made me realize a lot.  i kind of wish that i was scarlet at times so people wouldn't hurt me anymore..
 
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