navwin » Archives » Teen Poetry #4 » tick tock
Teen Poetry #4
Post A Reply Post New Topic tick tock Go to Previous / Newer Topic Back to Topic List Go to Next / Older Topic
knightlyshadows
Senior Member
since 2001-04-14
Posts 791
obscured vision

0 posted 2001-05-06 10:05 PM


i can offer you nothing more
ive given you all thats me
now all we have is time and each other
ill just have to wait and see
but dont expect me to be here forever
ive given you all of my heart
ill wait for you and your endeavor
but first you just have to start

hah i dont think thats the real title but o wells ill use it for nows......how bouts..'nothing but time' ?  and heys i knows im contradictin meselfes up theres *points* but isnt that the way it gos?


“A single choice can build destinies,or destroy them.”

U in the dark u in the pain u on the run
Living a hell living ur ghost living ur hell


[This message has been edited by knightlyshadows (edited 05-06-2001).]

© Copyright 2001 Tiffany Durham - All Rights Reserved
JBaker515
Deputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member
since 2001-02-28
Posts 458
Dartmouth College
1 posted 2001-05-06 10:10 PM


i liked this poem..
it flowed so nicey!!  

$ Jeff $   :  )

"If I'm not back in 5 minutes......just wait longer!"

"You may take our lives, but you'll never take our FREEDOM!

Allan Riverwood
Deputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Elite
since 2001-01-04
Posts 3502
Winnipeg
2 posted 2001-05-07 08:38 AM


I think the title was fine.  
The poem itself was also well written, it flowed well because of the alternating line size.  Well done.  
~Allan

Build a man a fire, and he's warm for a day.  Set a man on fire, and he'll be warm for the rest of his life.  
~Unknown

banburycross
Senior Member
since 2001-03-27
Posts 946
viginia
3 posted 2001-05-07 12:54 PM


This is one of my favorites by you, it flows really well and i think that it is very well written.  keep posting your work  

Sometimes, the things that go unsaid are the only things worth hearing.

Pixie-Babe03
Member
since 2000-08-29
Posts 387
Central Maine
4 posted 2001-05-07 03:08 PM


ooh ooh   i like this one   it flowed really good and is just a wonderful poem! great work!
*Justine*

-=Love starts with a SMILE, grows with a KISS, and ends with a TEAR=-

Dopey Dope
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Moderator
Member Patricius
since 2000-08-30
Posts 11132
San Juan, Puerto Rico
5 posted 2001-05-13 05:51 PM


Tick tock...broke the clock
la di da....ha ha ha...ya ya ya..na na na..
well done on this one.

I was born myself, raised myself, and will continue to be myself. The world will just have to adjust.

I'm in love with my shadow
I admire it daily

stace_co2003
Member
since 2001-03-30
Posts 497
In a dream world
6 posted 2001-05-13 05:54 PM


acutally, I like your title!! it's really cool..I wish I had the talent you do!! keep it up!!

Stace

knightlyshadows
Senior Member
since 2001-04-14
Posts 791
obscured vision
7 posted 2001-05-13 07:04 PM


stace *grrrrrs* u writes just as good as i do u dodo *smax* u no talk bad bout urself or ill beat u up ...got it!!!!?
thankies everybody lol *hugs*
tiff

“A single choice can build destinies,or destroy them.”

"You say i only hear what i want too..."

Acies
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Moderator
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-06-07
Posts 7665
Twilight Zone
8 posted 2001-05-17 06:59 PM


nicely done Tiff, not bad at all.  If this is a product of your writer's block, I say you're doing an excellent job considering  

"So long as men can breathe or eyes can see,
So long lives this, and this give life to thee."  W.S.

Post A Reply Post New Topic ⇧ top of page ⇧ Go to Previous / Newer Topic Back to Topic List Go to Next / Older Topic
All times are ET (US). All dates are in Year-Month-Day format.
navwin » Archives » Teen Poetry #4 » tick tock

Passions in Poetry | pipTalk Home Page | Main Poetry Forums | 100 Best Poems

How to Join | Member's Area / Help | Private Library | Search | Contact Us | Login
Discussion | Tech Talk | Archives | Sanctuary