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Teen Poetry #4
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Deranger
Member
since 2000-05-10
Posts 498
Somewhere, between here and there

0 posted 2001-05-06 09:01 PM



Spin me dizzy, my friend; make me crazy—again,
Hurts to walk the path of life, just to find a dead end
And you pretend, life can be all peaches and cream-
The Sleeping Beauty fantasy and the all your Disney dreams-
They’ve fallen apart, unraveled at the seams,
Beauty has pricked her finger upon the wheel,
Please take the time, to wipe my heart from your heel
Before you drag it across the floor…

And I’m just about to the point that I can’t take anymore
Before you go, I was wondering – just what you’re leaving for?
Asleep for a decade, of human decadence – awaiting that awaking kiss
But nothing drifts across the lips, of my emptiness-

To break out in laughter, then burst out in tears
What wrong with you, what’s the matter my dear
Look who’s crying now, the Little Mermaid has lost her tail,
The Evil Queen Ursula has stolen her charms, but love can’t fail,

At least, that’s what they tell us, in all those fairy tales…

Spreading insanity, one post at a time

My skull has glowing green eyes!

© Copyright 2001 Alexander Crino - All Rights Reserved
JBaker515
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Member
since 2001-02-28
Posts 458
Dartmouth College
1 posted 2001-05-06 09:03 PM


whoa, this was really cool..
well written!!

$ Jeff $   :  )

"If I'm not back in 5 minutes......just wait longer!"

"You may take our lives, but you'll never take our FREEDOM!

AngelShell
Member
since 2000-03-01
Posts 446
not heaven nor hell so...
2 posted 2001-05-07 01:19 AM


hehehehe,

You know, I liked this.
However, I do object to The Little Mermaid being subjected to your torment...SHE ROCKS!!!!!

Wonderfully written...as usual.

anonymous albert ?
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Member Elite
since 2001-03-23
Posts 2979

3 posted 2001-05-07 02:07 AM


i liked this a lot..
written very well..
i think this was a great poem...
keep writing...

...?

if i die before i wake , i pray the lord my soul will take-"when thugs cry"

banburycross
Senior Member
since 2001-03-27
Posts 946
viginia
4 posted 2001-05-07 12:38 PM


i like this a lot, the flow of this is really cool and the poem is really well written.  you did a wonderful job on this, keep posting your work.

Sometimes, the things that go unsaid are the only things worth hearing.

Allan Riverwood
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since 2001-01-04
Posts 3502
Winnipeg
5 posted 2001-05-07 12:40 PM


I can't stand Disney.  So I liked this poem a great deal.  
~Allan

Pixie-Babe03
Member
since 2000-08-29
Posts 387
Central Maine
6 posted 2001-05-07 02:52 PM


WOW...  i love your writing, this was so great!!  very original!  i can't wait to see more!!
*Justine*

lonely*soul
Member
since 2001-04-05
Posts 396
east haddam (moodus) ct :)
7 posted 2001-05-07 02:56 PM


allan dont be dissin the disney movies..they rawk! lol..but wheres bambi in the line up man???  anyways this was really good  i think the 1st stanza seems serious..and the whole disney thing gives it a lighter touch..but while reading the 1st stanza i kinda imagined it being a song
     awsome job!!!
       *KiM*

Deranger
Member
since 2000-05-10
Posts 498
Somewhere, between here and there
8 posted 2001-05-07 08:27 PM


Thanks everyone....

This actually began as a song...sigh, then i realized i couldn't sing.  Hehe.

Spreading insanity, one post at a time

My skull has glowing green eyes!

Child of the Stars
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Senior Member
since 2000-09-07
Posts 1658
Ann Arbor, MI
9 posted 2001-05-07 09:54 PM


Ah don't worry. I sang it for you!   Great poem 'ere..enjoyed much by Susanna and I.
  ~Carly

"Your joy is your sorrow unmasked.  And the self-same well from which your laughter rises was often-times filled with your tears."   ~Kahil Gibran

Dopey Dope
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Moderator
Member Patricius
since 2000-08-30
Posts 11132
San Juan, Puerto Rico
10 posted 2001-05-13 06:56 PM


This was wonderful! I really enjoyed this one deranger.....I enjoyed it so much my eyes popped out and my butt flew off....yep yep....well done.

I was born myself, raised myself, and will continue to be myself. The world will just have to adjust.

I'm in love with my shadow
I admire it daily

Deranger
Member
since 2000-05-10
Posts 498
Somewhere, between here and there
11 posted 2001-05-13 09:17 PM


Really Dopey? I'm sure the medical community has a myriad of treatments available for such a...disfiguring ailment.  Heh.

Spreading insanity, one post at a time

My skull has glowing green eyes!

Acies
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Member Rara Avis
since 2000-06-07
Posts 7665
Twilight Zone
12 posted 2001-05-23 10:42 AM


great read.  This is really good and very well expressed. keep it up

"So long as men can breathe or eyes can see,
So long lives this, and this give life to thee."  W.S.

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